Met a fantastic, well educated woman today, whilst out on Gretel. She asked if she could have a sit on her, saying it was exactly what she was thinking about, where did I get her? How much? Was she difficult to ride? Hey Steve and Dave, Nigel, she said 'I hope you get paid by these healthy cycling organisations? You couldn't be more effective, if you had a banner.' I smiled and said, I get paid loads in kindness. And gave her a contact card, I hope she gets in touch, as I think she too has medical problems, and would benefit greatly.

Awww, folk at the CTC, have really taken me under their wing. Whilst at the same time respecting my opinion, it feels good. I offered my experience to someone today which felt really cool, and I loved feeling useful.

If someone had of suggested at the beginning of the year, that I'd be so into cycling?????? I'd have called them 'sick', and having poor taste, for even suggesting it.But here I am, getting so much pleasure doing just that. I have thought, it is probably as a result of being single, because for once in my life I ain't thinking of what a partner might think. The only thing that worried me, was the kids, and their opinion. Which has been hot and cold if I'm honest, but they sooo love my new friends.

Wow I imagined I would feel totally gutted when I heard that my ex was re marrying. But I'm honestly, truthfully, kinda relieved, in a weird way. I've got new interests now, interests that were not part of my marriage to J*.

I am a new individual, it's exciting. I am proud of my new interest, and incredibly proud of myself (sorry for being smug.) But it's bloody hard work cycling to school, but it's been the easiest and most rewarding way to get slimmer. I haven't had to change my diet, one bit, (sorry Nigel). And I have become a bit of a celebrity, in a world that I thought was unobtainable, in fact it was so far away, that I never even dreamed it. And soon, I'm gonna get my own tee shirt wi CTC written on it, as I become a volunteer. (I promise I won't wear it on a Friday night Steve.)

Peace____________The children did moan that the fire engine didn't show up :( But to be honest I couldn't afford it, I had thought it was really well organised with loads of adults on hand, but my kids said this morning it was boring. Which 'Cut me to the quick!!'

Why is it when ever I brush past, or gently blow on my front bike light, does it fall to the floor and smash into one hundred pieces. :$ Anyway I rode to the bus stop, but had to come home with no front light. I personally think the luminous jackets and waistcoats look unattractive!!! But if they make me more visible, I don't really care what I look like. I will pick one up next time I'm anywhere that sells them.

Received a couple of emails from people who'd read the article yesterday in the Sheffield Telegraph, it gave me a buzz because they weren't folk that I normally see, so it was nice for them to see a little bit more of me. (If you follow)

I can't wait to independently ride further, I hope I find my own bike soon, and I hope I can do it. I'm a bit scared/worried in case I can't after everyone including myself is putting so much effort in. It's a little bit like how I felt b4 I went to Cycle For Health.

Fabulous start to the day. Thanks to Dave (Pedal Ready) my daughter's bike was fine, and she rode off for her Bikeability test this am. My wee boy followed on his BMX, he's a bit jealous, because as of today, my daughter gets to ride her bike on the road. Her brother, on the other hand, only does it when he tells folk like Steve (CTC), that I let him ride on the road all the time ;)

I appeared in the Sheffield Telegraph today, promoting cycling. Owt I can do to help the cause I will. Because I just don't understand why more folk don't. It just makes sense, in this ecological climate, and economical for that matter. And most single Mums, for example, haven't got the time, or the money, to go swimming, or the gym. And they will soon get bored of an exercise bike (how long b4 it becomes a clothes hanger?)

I went to Hillsborough today, to be a 'health champ' at Cycle For Health. And saw my 'lovely Fred', we cycled all the way to Oughtibridge, which is about 4 miles and turned round and did another 4 miles back and indeed 'I sweated like a fat lass' :D

My lift came, we called at my Mums, to take her a copy of the Telegraph, because I know she would have gone and bought one , had she been well. So I showed her and she was proud.

I then rushed up to school, I met my mates who'd began my journey of cycling with me. Awwww, they were lovely 'in their own way' :D, but they made the journey easier for me.

Got to the school gates, and the lovely Mr Marsden phoned (CTC) to talk over logistics of teaching Mums to ride.

:( The fire engine that was picking my kids and their mates up from school can't do it, it's broken down. Hey I wonder if the multi talented star of the CTC, Steve Marsden, could fix it? He used to repair broken fire engines.

Oh well, they've got a disco, make up for the girls, and tattoos for the boys.

I've got a Brain Injury Research Rehabilitation Partnership meeting tomorrow :) I like feeling useful.

I'm so knackered, maybe I should calm-----------------------as opposed to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!excitement!!! I'm just a bit hyper at the moment, and my brains just whirrrrring about the possibilities of promoting cycling. I cycled to school at 3, and dearly hoped that I'd bump into Dave (Pedal Ready) and didn't :( . Spoke to a Mum, (she's poorly, and cried when I started being nice, so I felt shit). Another Mum who's in a wheelchair, and is as positive as me about stuff, agreed to having a go on Gretel, if I helped out with a learning to ride session, at the school, with some of my mates. That would be so inclusive if that happened :)

The lovely Dave came to see me to fix Daisy's bike :)

I cycled to the Drs, for a double whammy flu jab, because apparently I'm high risk!! ....it's all gone black. :D

I also have arranged to wean myself off my anticonvulsants. But she thought it good if I police risky times (eg, when I'm ill, stressed, partying all nite, etc) and keep a few for such times.

I've got Cycle for Health tomorrow, with my lovely Fred.

I've actually not done too much today, as I had to wait in for a repair man. But caught up wi Steve (CTC), who's actually bringing someone to meet me tomorrow, how exciting!!

A photo of me cycling taken by Dave from Pedal Ready is going in a magazine. (Ey, I'm a hot in demand model!!) And the journalist is going to contribute towards my bike fund, which is so supportive.

I cycled to the shops on my way to school, smiling at folk as I do. And I said hello to a child who was pointing in awe at Gretel, then I met an extraordinary gentleman, who must have been 75?

He stopped me to admire my bike, and went into detail about the old Totley Odeon Cycling Club that used to meet in a wee shelter, in the woods. Their bikes, were pretty knackered in, with no gears, seldom having brakes, but he obviously was so fond of those memories, that were 60 years old!! And something really struck me, cycling was able to stretch across the generations, as well as abilities. It really was all inclusive.

B*!!! I'd decided, I was gonna push myself just a little bit further than my 'safe' trip to the shops. I don't know whether to blame my trousers, which are too big now, or the wet leaves. But I pulled up at the bottom of the drive, to give way to a car, and I went 'tits up' into the middle of the road, (fortunately the car had stopped). Grazing my elbow and denting my pride, though.

How glad I was that my neighbours (who find it funny that I try and get healthier), weren't around. Instead, some dear supportive residents came and helped me up. I brushed myself down, and went to the coop, only to find it was closed!!! Had I not have felt a bit wobbly, I'd have maybe ridden to Tesco express, I will next time. Only I just felt a little shaken, urgh I regret not making myself though, and curtailing to my insecurities.(I'll just beat myself up for a bit, but at least I live on to try again another day)

Ey, I'm right proud of myself, long story. A few months ago I needed to use my Individual Budgeting money to employ an electrician to fit me a 'trip switch'. So when I was plunged into darkness 5 mins ago, I just needed to lay on the floor and flick a switch :) Ey I feel rite empowered.

Well last night, was if I'm honest a tad disappointing. But it wasn't because I didn't pull, because I honestly didn't want to (well, I didn't want what was on offer.) So I just have to accept that I ain't going to meet anyone for a deep and philosophical chat over a dance floor!!

But why are we so shallow? I do try not to be but I admit, I'm as guity as the next. Most men, aren't interested in me when they see that I limp. Which is sad, not only for me, but for them, because I think I am an asset to have as a mate. I've gone all deep and heavy now, soz xx

My mate's just travelled from Leeds with his wee boy for a coffee :) J* popped in this morning, now she did enjoy last night ;) We've planned our next night out, perhaps next time I'll know what to expect.

My children aren't back till tonight, I'm just gonna cycle to the chippy for tea, because I can.

I thought I'd better write this entry before I got hopelessly drunk tonight and forgot, (sorry Nigel!!).

I arrived at my Health Champs meeting, not too nervous, because although I didn't know many, everyone seemed friendly and 'normal'.

I spoke a bit, I think I did ok, I just worried about mentioning everyone who'd supported me, in supporting everyone. I also met a guy who had conquered his own mental health stuff and was now leading health walks. And I thought, good on ya!! But thinking about it I bet that's why I have an impact. Then my cycling heroes of the moment arrived that was Dave from Pedal Ready and Steve from CTC .

Nigel (Health Champs) spoke a bit, and was urging us to decide what we wanted to do with the experience we'd gained, and if we needed further training. Steve Marsden, suggested that I do a 'community welfare' course, the same one that he'd done. Nigel thought this was a great idea, and introduced me to the relevant folk. Steve and Dave were so lovely for being my guests, and Nigel was so lovely for letting me invite them. I wanted to cry, I was so proud of knowing them.

I'm knackered!!

I cycled to school to get my children, and catch up wi the other Mums, who are going out later. My children are stopping out at my bruvs. Do you think I'll pull?

I'll let you know tomorrow ;)

Fabulous day, today I'd got the luxury of time on my side. Fair enough I'd got a bit of phoning and sorting to do. But thankfully I'd got a lot of time to do it in.

My children, were so excited because 'David Bocking' was teaching Bikeability at their school :) and they only know him because of me. Which makes me feel chuffed, and it kinda displays the fact that cycling is inclusive, and that mum's disability is inclusive.

I have just come back from my dentist. What am I like? Just gi me a mega phone!! There's a new bike shop in Hathersage, next to my dentist, called The Bike Station. I went in the shop wi a lop sided mouth, and probably dribbling, but managed to introduce myself and gave him a few contact cards. I think the guy thought I'd got a lotta front.....bum bum, (no pun intended). He was just very friendly, but maybe a bit taken a back.

Went to school at pick up time, and I can only presume it was because I'd only just finished my lunch, but I was in agony, when I got there, it's a good job I get there so early, and I had time to compose myself. Before I bumped into my beautiful Dave and Fred from Pedal Ready, who introduced me to another attractive guy ;)..Richard. Hey it was really cool because all the Mums and Dads will have been gossiping.


I'm looking forward to Cycle For Health tomorrow.

:( I just want to cry, I have just taken on too much this week, thing is though it's all things that I really want to do. I can't wait till Cycle for Health on Thursday. Because once I'm there, with my packed lunch, I can forget solicitors, brain interviews, children (eek sorry!) lunch do's and boozy singles nights.

Massive problems with the bank, but not really. But it reminded me that I am in fact brain damaged!!! I love being busy but I have folk who I think a lot of and they are getting neglected. I can vaguely cope, but when my tumble dryer breaks down, like NOW!! My life goes to pieces, I sound self pitying now, sorry.

A couple of sheds on my road have been burgled this week, thank goodness we lock all our bikes together.

Back from my solicitors, just done kids tea and taken my boy to Beavers...........peace, I feel like I should be smoking a cigar, whilst sipping my wine.

I do feel a bit crap for neglecting Gretel (but myself really) I just ain't had time.

What a fantastic day :) I'm really happy and relieved, because for 2 years, I've been involved in a research project called, BIRRP. Brain Injury Rehabilitation Research Partnership. And today, I actually interviewed a fellow survivor of brain injury, with the most senior member of the neurological team, and together we were a fantastic success, (but I wouldn't like to be the one to transcribe!), because the other survivor opened up to me so much, we chatted like old mates. She was great. Coincidently, she had sustained her brain injury, when she was knocked off her bicycle. Well that was a bit of a neon light for me, to hand out my contact card :)

I came back, and spoke for a while with the lovely Steve Marsden (CTC) who I've missed. And we've arranged to go to Derby to look at a recumbent for me on the 19th of November.

I didn't have to go to school today, as my wee boy is having tea at a mates. And my lassy is 11 in a week and can walk home now. But I just wanted an excuse to ride Gretel, and it was great, I'm in a fab mood.

Had some messages from a forum that I've joined called Inclusive Cycling Forum....(CTC)

D* has her bikeability at school on Thursday, I might have gone up to help but, I'm doing Cycle for Health instead.