Went to visit my Mum at Ecclesall, it would be great if I could cycle, but I think even if I had a power assisted one it might take me too long. And besides it's nice catching up with my mate.

I cycled to school, can I add 'doesn't wheeze much for a fat lass'?

Got back, I needed to speak with Steve really regarding the bike that my solicitor is going for in the divorce court on Wednesday. Spoke with Dave instead and Nigel, and Fred. So I'm happy, I feel like a useful person. Which is exact opposite to my personal life.

I am on a bit of a roller coaster, which hopefully will culminate with my final divorce hearing. It's only taken 3 years. And I know I've been unbearable with my insecurities, but hopefully normality will resume as of Thursday. I just hope I can concentrate on Tuesday/Wednesday, when I will be learning how to use the disability bikes. It's nice, because the CTC are covering the cost of my instruction. And Nigel (Health Champion person) is paying for transport there and back.

My wee boy woke me at 3, then at 7. Wanting to know if it was time for BMX day yet? He was unbearable, but I was very proud that he was so into something so healthy. And I suppose I was pleased that I was encouraging it.

My daughter spent all morning, in the shower and applying her 'slap'. She was only interested in the boys who may be at the BMX day. (Her mother's own daughter, as the saying goes :) )

I was delighted to see A* today, it was great. I don't know if I had any influence on her decision to go, but she did really enjoy herself. And hey, I do come in useful sometimes (as the bag minder!) A* did really well, in the older persons group. My boy, on the other hand, was not a 'happy bunny' - he got given a smaller bike, with flowers on!! Anyway I reckon, if I can communicate with A* about the next one, she will definitely go.

------

Oooooh I've just had a strange man phone, (tipped off by the lovely Fred). He wants to come and snip my bush;) - That is, take my otherwise wasted eating apples, and give em to the needy.

I had to take Gretel for a wee spin.

Do I sound like Julie Andrews?

Do you know what? (And I'm quite ashamed.) I ain't been on Gretel today!!!!

I did my bit for Health Champions though, I found out about BMX day, phoned A* from Cycle for Health, and she's gonna see me at Meersbrook Park tomorrow, when I take my wee boy for some BMX riding.

I think I need a cold shower to bring me back to the real world, I can only liken this feeling to falling in love, when I may experience butterflies in my tummy. And such excitement! But this isn't about a man!! It's about 3 wheels and making other people happy just by exercising and smiling occasionally! (Ok, I do a bit more.)

Before I forget I must say a big thank you to A*, one of my Cycle for Health partners, who taught me very effectively to get up the hills in the park today. (Sorry Steve, I know the hills aren't big, I was just feeling particularly feeble that day).

This woman came up to me at the end of Cycle For Health and hugged me today for being inspirational. It was totally out of the blue. But she said I had been one of the reasons she had continued, and she was really pleased she had :) - because she could now ride a bike independently.

Earlier on today, my lovely Fred had been on a dual pedalled recumbent bike with J* who had difficulty seeing. Because I am doing my Disability Cycling course on Tues/Weds of next week, I was eager to have a go on the bike with J*.

I asked her if she'd mind showing me, and in fact be my left leg, and I'd be her eyes. Fortunately she said yes, and a match was made in heaven. It was great.

Amanda from Pedal Ready and I went for a ride round the whole park after lunch, which I really enjoyed because I nearly managed it all. I'm confident by the end of the course it will be no problem.

I got home, and Nigel (HC), Steve (CTC), and Dave (PR) had left glowing messages of support, which I loved.

Ohhh I nearly forgot, my children and I have just waved goodbye to my electric scooter, which I couldn't have managed the last 3 years without. But when people see me on it? Well it's hardly a very attractive feature, and really doesn't match the person I believe I am.

I see myself as independent now, not dependant on a scooter or anyone to drive me.

I cycled to the bus stop this morning, and do you know? I now do it without thinking. And I feel like I've achieved something when I get to the bus stop. (Don't laugh, I know it ain't far.)

My mate's coming from Leeds tomorrow evening, I suggested we meet at the 'Deli Junction' or the Mohul, and we will cycle. (This is ace, what freedom!!!)

Hey, I've got Cycle For Health tomorrow, I did enjoy it last week. (I'm wondering if Fred went home with my silk scarf, it did suit him!) It gives me such a buzzz being appreciated, for just being me :)

I think it's a healthy snooze? - But when I've cycled, I come home and sleep for 30 mins. Is it normal? Or am I a lazy git? I did go to town this morning, and get my moby fixed, so I can take photos at last.

I'm happy!

I'm gushing with love for my fellow man again. I've been in a super mood, I think because it's been so sunny and I started the day with a short ride, just for the sake of it really.

I spoke to Steve from the CTC, who is the hero in all this really. He has plans for me to speak at a conference, which is so exciting. And he's so right, disability cycling has given me an interest, and it really suits my personality, because it has so many different possibilities, and I can see ways it would help folk who may have certain things in common with myself. (Not just the disability thing, but being a single mum who doesn't drive, gaining weight, but not really having the opportunity to do anything about it. Because naturally children come first.)

Anyway I'm glowing now.

At the school gates were the usual mums. I handed the mum who'd helped me a bottle of wine for fixing my bike yesterday. And she gave me her moby number and said I could call her if ever I had a problem :) Bless, how nice.

I rang and made arrangements for the Mobility folk to collect my electric scooter on Thursday and when I told my friends, they were tearful, (silly things) and they said pretty much the same as Steve had been saying: how I was busy now doing CFH and being a champion.

These were the mums that saw me reach rock bottom, when I'd see my husband collect someone else's children at the school gates. It was a sad time, and I think unfortunately I may have met Nigel when I was part of PFI (partners for inclusion). Oh well, he may have seen the change in me then.

I'm very happy because Nigel has given the go ahead for me to pay my 'PA' to take me to be a health champ at CFH on Thursday at hilly Hillsborough. I know I will see lovely Fred there.

("Who looks nothing like Robert Patterson!!! cos' Rob Patterson is the most god like creature on this planet!!!!!!" - that was my daughter, soz!!)

People are just sooo nice, it's incredible the effort some folk will go to to help others. Or is it just me? I don't think they do it out of pity or owt, I hope not anyway. My friend was round offering support over techy things, folk know me tooo well!! Anyway, he's a nurse as well, so I needed him to check out my.......hand;)

I rushed to the coop, and 'Gretel' was poorly, I could tell she was difficult to ride. But I needed to go to see my friend and give her some flowers. As I pushed Gretel near the school, another mum said: 'What's up, let me have a look for you.'

Anyway the chain had come off, so she turned her upside down and fixed it in a jiffy. It was ace, I could have kissed her, and probably did.


I've been asked to write an article on my journey of cycling. Nice :)

Urrrgh!! I'm just back from such a harrowing ordeal. Firstly I cycled to the bus stop, nearly having three accidents on the way, as the bus stop is only about 500 yards. That's pretty good or bad going!! I clearly wasn't myself, and headed off to Decathlon. I was so sweaty (for a fat lass) at the check out the assistant asked me if I was ok? and did I need a chair!! I looked at my 'weeping' cut and thought eeeeek!!

From there I headed off to Boots in the hope of finding some antibiotics, as I haven't a spleen, and things can turn nasty very quickly. I was directed to an out of hours place, which required a taxi. It was the start of the Muslim festival, and so there wasn't a taxi in sight.

To cut a long story short, I had 5 butterfly stitches, and was written up for some antibiotics, which I had to call and collect, before I was dropped off at Gretal. Why do I make things hard for myself?

Oh well I can feel the blood pumping round my body now:) (Even though some of it might be bad!!)

Yesterday just passed me by in a drunken haze. I've gotta say I was disappointed that no one said the words. 'Wow, you don't look 43!!' But I am happy to say a few people said 'I didn't ever act my age.' Which again is a brain thingy, because it was 1988 when I had my RTA, and severe brain damage. My brain still thinks it's 21, and I still like The Smiths, and The Clash.

A really nice day yesterday began with my children waking me, more excited about my birthday than me. I cycled to the shops later, because I had to give myself a bit of exercise, as I knew the day would be spent consuming lots of calories. My mates called at 4.00pm with champagne, and then another friend called and that was the start of the downhill slippery slope :) Clive then called (an ex fb), who is absolutelly gorgeous, and such a gent, he stayed till 1am.

I've said before how many things effect my ability to cycle- Well today I'm happy because I've had a wee laugh and a joke at my friend because he lay in bed this morning watching 'Hollyoaks' (Perv I called him!!). I'm just going into town, to spend fifty pounds worth of vouchers, at Decathlon.

I was a tomato this morning, as I cycled my little boy to school. I didn't have to go, but a taxi was picking me up at 10, for a meeting at the Head Injuries Rehabilitation Centre, where I am part of a group called BIRRP. Standing for? Brain Injured Rehabilitation Research Partnership, which meet at least once a month. I had wanted to feel awake for it, so I chose the school run as opposed to a slob at home with an extra coffee.

Too many folk probably read this blog now for me to write my true feelings down. But I was disappointed that the clinicians at the unit were not more into cycling as something I had chosen to do and a possibility for clients going through the rehab process now. I understand that our time at BIRRP is for a specific reason, and not really for me to be all egocentric. But I just feel a bit frustrated, I suppose I'm just wanting to enable folk, who might otherwise be sitting at home feeling totally incapacitated, and totally reliant on others. But I know again, I'm putting my own feelings onto others.

Also I'm 43 tomorrow!!! and because I've just split up with my fb, I ain't really got plans, I hope my neighbour pops in but otherwise it's another year of the kids and I.

Awww I love my life, it's only when I start to analyse stuff that I question bits of it. And get all reminiscent and maudlin. Today was no exception, I got my wee boy off to school, (my girl's away, with school). It was nice, no squabbles about who was going to sleep next to mum last night, as a special treat. I was deluded into thinking life with two children would be much easier. But I spend my entire home life being a referee, usually I'm the game and the prize!!!!!!!

Anyway, I'm gibbering on again. Today at Cycle For Health it was really successful, for many reasons, although I didn't actually say owt to folk about being a Health Champion, I definitely had the desired effect. It's like I said b4 in my blog, trikes make folk smile and chat. Heaven forbid, if I was shy?

A young woman asked me if she could work with me. And I loved it, that she had felt ok doing that , and people saw me as approachable.

I struggled with the uphills in Hillsborough Park, of which Steve had said there were none :) And felt a teensy bit awkward because I'd had to ask Fred, and Yvonne, no sorry Angela, for assistance - It's a joke, you had to be there, im afraid :)

I heard Fred, Amanda and David playfully arguing about who was supporting me. It was great, It was like 'I'm Spartacus,' no, but 'I am,' no, 'I am!'

Dave took lots of photos, which might appear on here later. (see above!)

I really find it encouraging that folk read my blog. And some actually follow it. I mean, I could never write that I'd sat on my ass all day eating cream cakes. And I can't lie (it's a brain injury thing!!) So it makes me do stuff, so thank you all.

Well, I did sit on my ass all morning, I had a lot of stuff to do. Mostly around trying to get funding to buy a new trike, as the one I'm using is only loaned. And I'm going to London Recumbents in October to look there. But the one I've seen there is about £2500 & another £2000 if I want a battery putting on for the difficult hills, of which there are many, in Sheffield. Dave of Pedal Ready and Steve of the CTC have helped me choose a suitable one. And Steve is actually taking me to London to have a go.

I've secured funding tomorrow to enable me to go and 'lead by example' as a 'Health Champion' on the Cycle for Health course.

(It was solemn at the school gates today, without my mate.)