ICDH, DVD, school run (ride), nurse, drs, LOSING MY BLOODY KEYS!!!!!!!!

Sorry to be a bit crap Debs, but I aint got the questions, sooooooo.....

I couldn't sleep last night, I was so excited about today, firstly I'd got my ICDH course, I'd got to leave early and take my trike to Independent Living Sheffield, to meet Steve Marsden (CTC) where we were going to feature in a DVD, from there I had to rush to school, fetch my children, go to the nurse, and then see the doctor. Durrrrrr!!!! What a total arse I am. I was in such a rush that I'd forgotten to get my keys off my wee girl who'd opened the door after school. So when I came out of the pharmacy and went to get Jezz, I could have cried, it was cold, my children were home alone, and I was alone, very alone, it was starting to get dark, poor Jezz was shackled to the hand rail outside the pharmacy. I hated this feeling, I had forgotten what it felt like to feel so helpless. It brought back memories of when my ex first left, and I wasn't capable of doing anything, no I'll rephrase that, I believed that I wasn't capable of doing anything because I was 'looked after'. And then kind of abandoned with 2 young children to look after, and I turned my life around. And I think thats what the DVD was for, to show folk what can be achieved with a positive attitude. Anyway, I digress as always. My son and daughter had big fights as to who was going to bring a spare set of keys up to the pharmacy, I had to use a cash bribery!!!

I had enjoyed seeing everyone this morning. I think everyone revealed a little more about themselves today, a vulnerable side. Because we all had to give ourselves a label, and lliterally stick the label that had been used to describe us at some point in our lives. I was quite moved by Tracy, who's label was 'spaz' because she's epileptic, the same as I am. But I'm so ashamed to say that when I was a child, I called my Dad a 'spaz' behind hios back because he was an epileptic. Talk about Kalma, because I've ended up an epileptic, fortunately well controled, but I had to go through the untimely seizures. Mmmmm I wonder how I'd feel about been called a spaz now?

We then had to do a spoof scene, of inapropriate behaviour and difficulties that our fictitious character 'Roger' might encounter, when paying an impromptu visit to his GPs surgery. Although everyone 'jested'. how frustrating to be like Roger, and feel so mis understood. Helpless even? Alone? maybe I could relate that to how I'd felt earlier.

I was generally touched today by peoples concern and care for me, I hope that they have learnt a lot from me, like I am approachable, not in the least bit pompus, I enjoy life to the full. As I too have learn t loads from them, like they are approachable and not all hostile like the area might suggest, and they too enjoy life, learning. And are incredibly sensitive. I have seen this displayed when someone has been upset, everyones rallied round, or when I forgot my sandwiches, immedietly someone offered to go to the shops for me, because I couldn't walk that far, and so a physically well person offered, to me this was displaying true empathy, because he imagined how helpless I had felt.

At lunchtime, my taxi arrived to take Jezz and I into town. And wow, it was great. There was a room with a small group of about 5 folk, including camera man and some kind of director guy. Ooooooooh and they were there for us!!! :) Hey do I sound egocentric? sorry for that I forget that folk actually read this :D

I'm actually quite pleased with how it went, and unlike when I did the radio slot. I think I remembered to say who'd helped me achieve my dream, of cycling to school.

Hey nearly forgot :) I waited outside for my taxi, I sat on Jezz, watching the world go by. And this paramedic on a push bike, came up to me and shook my hand saying, 'hello, you must be Caroline?' :) I've read your blog, I even printed it out to show the paramedics you thanked on New Years day, when you hurt your leg, and needed to call an ambulance. 'I'm Jonathan, David Bocking, and Steve's friend.

Oooooooops forgot to say, my leg is getting better, I'll try and get a photo up later. Even though I was prescribed 2 lots of antibiotics today, because unfortunately it's got 2 different bacterias in the cut. Hey and do you know what, it came in handy that I'm such an exhibitionist, because I could simply get out my phone and show the gp, a photo of the cut!!!

Do you know I've helped Rob3 find a trike? well Steve (CTC) went to see him this morning, so I feel I can hand over the reins now. But I've put such a lot of effort into helping him, to the point of checking folk out before I recommended them etc. Hey ho, I hope things are good for him.

I've got a meeting with the council tomorrow, supporting Nigel West, my health champion man. Who makes it all possible:)

Thank you to the blogging comments they are really apprechiated, it's like a community in itself :) To think A year ago, I would have never dreamt any of this. It's amazing!!!