B*

Sometimes, I can do it, and other times I struggle (ooo errr Mrs) - I'm so childish at times!!

But thanks to Rob, Rob and Gavin, who too are cyclists, who've been forced to hang helmets up (i hope) in this horrid weather. I was gonna trike it to the pub, for lunch, but the cold and my fear was still there. But at least I know, I'm not alone.

I bottled it :(

I've been mentally scarred, I just daren't go out, I didn't dare go to the shops or owt today. And theres a few mates, plus kids going sledging tomorrow, and I darent go. I don't wanna risk having another accident, and prolonging my convalescent time. I'm so fed up. :(xx

I want to play :(

I want to go and play wi Jezza :( But it's just too icy, and once the nurse had picked her jaw up, she said NO. When I asked her earlier today, I just imagined the scorned faces, if owt bad happened and I agreed it was maybe a bad idea. Because nearly over night my scar has nearly knitted together, I was so relieved today. When the nurse picked the stitches out, I squashed my mates hand so I did!!! And then we set about planning a party, for when I get my new trike. Which looks like being a couple of months :( and it will maybe cost a little bit more.

I have made friends from all over the country, through my work with the CTC, so hopefully a few of them will make it to Sheffield.

I am sooo happy, what with the nurse, my ICDH course starting on Monday, and then such a busy week, socialising and meetings. And hopefully cycling on Tuesday. I so want to take part in Cycle For Health :)

Hey try checkin out Robs End to End Bike Ride, he's a typical true cyclist encouraging me because I'm a tryer :)xxx Ta 4 that.

Awwww, a tad disappointed in the radio slot this am, on Radio Sheffield. I had wanted to say how revitalised I had felt, now I had begun cycling daily. And how my family had benefited, but all the guy had wanted to speak about was s'thing that happened 22 years ago.....move on. I have.

Aww I was eager for some reassurance from my Pedal Ready mates, but I had interrupted some gathering and everyone said Hi. Which was nice.

I had so wanted to thank Sheffield Champs, because without them, I wouldn't be able to tour the parks doing Cycle For Health.

My leg doesn't look very good I'm afraid, the gap between either side of the cut is about 1'' and it is pure flesh, in the middle with strands of cotton, from the stitches stretched across. a bit like a Mandelin Guitar. On closer examination of Jezz and my leg, it wasn't the pedal that went into my shin. It was infact the vicious looking pedal and chain thingy. Ouch, it had twisted round. (it's back in place now :))

I am helping Steve do a bit of research, into recumbent trikes, and I love feeling useful, but I think a KMX cart? maybe.

I wish the snow would go, although we are supposed to be having some more. :(

I kind of took the bull by the horns last nite, and wrote to radio Sheffield, and asked if Steve (ctc) and I could go on, and then I wrote to Steve informing him. :D Luckily he was cool about it, I am really chuffed that he trusts me to say the right thing. Anyway we are both going out live tomorrow morning at 11.15. Talk about 'Carpe Diem' or seize the moment, I received an invite as well in my mails, asking me if I wanted to take part in an Empowerment Forum, in York. And wow, I think the CTC and myself, have such a proven case that cycling is a fantastic way of of gaining empowerment. I mean look at me 8 months ago, I was still broken and bitter about my ex, the fact that I had a disability just magnified my apparent dependance, on a partner. I am so glad cycling came along .......no I sought it out!!! Because it's fantastic being told that I'm good at something, even if it does mean it's a good effort for me. I know, and no one can deny that I am a good communicator, which means I can reach out to others both non disabled and those with a disability, and show them the many positives of owning a cycle. There are so many people who I owe gratitude to, in those early days at Endcliffe Park at Cycle For Health.

It's been hard work the past 8 months, but the most satistfying 8 months of my life.

Anyw

Ooooooooa I'm unbelievably excited now!! Steve Marsden (CTC) skidded through the snow this morning, and came to see me for a cuppa and some toast. And I had hoped, but didn't like to say yesterday, He ordered me 'The dogs bollocks, of recumbent trikes'

This is thank's to Steve Bailey, and the CTC, who recognised my value because I personally have benefited soooo much from my new lifestyle. And because I am also 'gobby',they are so lovely recognising this as an individual case, and judging it on the amount of effort that myself and so many healthy happy folk have put in.

I am soooo looking forward to 2010 :)

I'm so excited Steve Marsden's (CTC)coming to see me in the morning, 1) Because of my accident. 2) To discuss any role i can play, in publicising cycling :)

RIP.......:(

Spike didn't make it through the night, i'm afraid. And this time he had definately died. Oh well, only another 3 gerbils to go. I believe they are more trouble than a dog, because the novelty of cleaning out a cage lasts about a nan-ow second, and the nagging and bribery I have to do each month, to get my kids to do it, just isn't worth it.

Anyway my leg had been bleeding a lot in the night, completely soaking, the dressing. So I text my mate Karen, who's a nurse I used to work with at the psychiatric hospital, I was also staff, incase you wondered :) Like a star she came to my aid, changing my dressing, I was pleased with how clean my cut looked...(for now). Although I'm on anti biotics, I know it can change and become infected so easily, and I'll end up back in hospital. What a cheery thought!!!

My friend Julie popped in a couple of times, to make sure I was alive, and do errands. My bruv, returned my kids, my next door neighbour, heard about it in the pub, and called in, hey it's good being gossip fodder!! And finally Pete called just to check me out, and ask me why I hadn't used my brakes? Good question? I think I may just have topled backwards anyway, but durrrrr.

Hey!! I've just heard from Dave (Pedal Ready) that the monkey bumps, still exist in Hutcliffe Wood, he strongly advised me not to try them. But I used to go on those when I was 10!!!!

New Years Eve/The Angels coming For Spike/Angels Bringing Him Back!!/Bike Ride /Hospital/

After successfully welcoming in the new year, having loads of fun, but no booze :) And laughing sooo much because the buffet that was served at the local club, included a selection of bread & dripping!!! And apart from our motley crew, the club contained the entire Tesco bus regulars. We got to bed at about 2 am. :)

Poor Spike, in an effort to make his life a little comfier, i had moved him into another container. Unfortunately the holes in the top, were closed, leading me to believe ? When I found him this am, with his feet in the air. That the angels had been in the night :( Alas I didn't have time to do the funeral thing, so I rushed out to get my taxi this am. I will cycle instead soon, I'm not sure when.

After a nice breakfast in the park cafe, we cycled on to the BMX park, on ice as well :) Whilst pedestrians struggled to keep their footing, Jezz glided :) My son loved it zooming round the big hills, and drops whilst I sped round on the flat. I thought now what's the worst that would happen if I didn't make it to the top of the hill? And I planned my strategy, of what I might do, in such a situation. And sped towards it hoping to get enough momentum, to take me to the top, but a couple of inches from the top, sure enough I started to roll back!!! Bugger!!! and before I had time to move my left leg out the way, WHAP!!! the pedal inbedded in my shin. The trike came to rest.

Bless my lil 7 year old, with pure gusto he said 'Don't panic Mum, I'm calling an ambulance' And he did.

Right I have so many folk to thank now for help, I'm scared incase I miss someone.

Alistair....Absolute star, who came to my aid in the park, directing the ambulance, returning 2 bikes and my son safely home.

Julie......Who went to my house to wait with both my children, until relief arrived.

Stephen and Sue.... Who took over from Julie, putting my bike away and taking both my children to their house.

Lucy and Becky..... The cheerful ambulance staff :)

Carys..... Who made a fine job embroidering my leg with pure blanket stitch, some 16 stitches later.
Anyway, I'm back from hospital now, and it appears Spikes hanging on in there, because he's breathing and after some milk, that I fed him through a syringe, out of curiousity. Because he was still warm.

I'm sooo looking forward to tomorrow, when I'm going for a cycle ride, with my youngest. We are having brunch in the park, and he's so excited, because he'll get to show me his BMX tricks. All of this made me strong enough not to jeopardise any of this by getting hopelessly drunk tonight. And planning a quiet night in.........until 1Mum came round and another phoned, between them they have talked me into going to the kiddy friendly club.

I WILL BE STRONG THOUGH :)x

Happy New Year, to everyone 2010 is going to be fantastic!!

xxxxxxx

Spike :)

I shared my bed last night, with two weeping children, because 'Spike' the Gerbil looked decidedly very poorly. I booked Spike in at the vets, wondering how on earth I was going to pay? and secretly wishing the angels had taken him in the night. My kids screamed with delight that the angels hadn't been in the night. And I booked him in at the vets, because I had a plan.


First I had to get the weekly shop on my once an hour Tesco bus, and bless him, the bus driver had parked at the end of my road waiting for me. And then waited for me again, because 35 mins, isn't long really. But I was on a deadline. I explained to the driver that I'd got to take the gerbil to be put down :( and because my lil boy can be very endearing. I arranged to get taken by the bus driver , and dropped off, on his way bk to Tesco. Awwww, I was genuinely happy that it appears to be an ear infection. And he will live. And I was lucky that the tesco bus was coming past on my way home also :)

So what could have been very expensive and upsetting for my children, has instead been an experience that has lifted my spirits and made me feel glad to be me, surrounded by caring folk.

:( I still can't take Jez out, it's getting a bit ridiculous because the roads are nearly clear, but my drive is just sheer ice!!! And they seem to have sold out of salt everywhere.

Fantastic news, it looks like I can now afford the GT5, which I'm giddy about, but it is a lot of money and I'd rather wait for Steve from the CTC, to agree it is a great idea. But West Country Recumbents are being soooo patient with me, so thank you for that.

I'm gonna brave it tomorrow now, I've just read the comment from Rob. Unless I'm totally snowed in tomorrow. My kids will be about to dig me out tomorrow :)

I'm missing my Cycle For Health sessions, and unfortunately I will miss the first one which clashes with an Introduction to Developing Community Health course, I will be attending. I do intend to continue CFH, when my ICDH, moves to a Monday the following week. My life's looking busy again though, when I begin some work for the Social Services, around Individual Budgeting, which will mean I have to leave Cycle For Health 30mins early, and hey? do you think someone will cycle home with me? I'm a scardy, at first anyroad. I can't wait till 2010 :)