Saturday, 1 August 2015

The Show goes on

Sheffield Cycling 4 All is open on the 6/08/15 at Hillsborough Park, Sheffield. Despite the fact that Steve Marsden, is still on holiday in France. He maybe sometime???

I am currently looking after his dog Robbie, who behaves like a dream!! he is so obedient, if there is a treat involved.

I am sooo poorly though, and I can feel my mood slipping, because I cant cycle at the moment. I'm just too weak, because of the effects of my 3rd session, of Chemotherapy,

I was assessed yesterday by Social Services, to see what extra help, I need? I can't cope with 4 visits a day again!!! Like last year, when I had a double fracture in my hyper sensitive left leg, So sensibly I opted for a tea time visit, of 2 hours. When my legs have usually had it!! But only for the week I have  Chemo therapy.

I also asked for a Greenspeed Magnum Pedal Assist Trike, because for the cost of a PAs wages. They could buy me a trike, and I could do it myself. Retain some dignity and independence, stay healthy, have control.


Friday, 17 July 2015

SC4A closed early :(

Well we've lasted a year, and today we closed early.  I wasn't anything to do with the final decision, because I wasn't available for comment. I was up the drive approximately 100 yards away?

Monday, 13 July 2015

Naughty Hickman!!!

Did I mention, that my Hickman line had come out, one night. Meaning, I had to have basic rudimental ways to administer Chemotherapy, last time? Well I'm back in Northern General Hospital today, having another fitted. Potentially this is much worse than last time, because I now have no Platlets, to clot my blood. Because of the Chemo....Oh the joys!!!

Sunday, 12 July 2015

A quickie, catch up.

I have got so much going on in my life at the moment, I've never been so popular. Cancer has made me a very popular Chick.

Ahhhhh, I had my 2nd lot of Chemotherapy, last week? - well Friday the 3rd. And as ~I thought, because Chemo/mustard gas. Stays in your blood for 6 weeks, meaning that I have a time when my treatment effects over lap. Which might be why, I am back to using one crutch again because it slows me down, stopping me tripping! and makes me safer. And my joints are aching a bit. I am lucky, because my children, were nowhere to be seen when I returned from the hospital, both had a busy social life!! But my mate Anj, text and offered to get me a Curry, and she brought it round, plated it, with a glass of wine. Nice.

I spotted Will, at Chemo the young boy? the Student Nurse, who was unfortunate in his use of language :) He saw me, and ran!!! Cheeky, he knew I couldn't catch him!! I'm not that bad.? Some time later, he returned rather sheepishly. I think he enjoyed the 'banter' though, because he kept telling fellow nurses (always the female ones) about the Spit/Swallow incident.

I'm gonna have to come back to this.

I'm back... The Sheffield Sky Ride.

Click for Options
36 hours later wearing a Bandana and having a pink balloon, on the end of my flag pole. I began, the ride. My beautiful friend Dave Brenen, was as ever so supportive. In fact I couldn't have done the ride without him. I didn't even do it, I only did about half. I just think it was important to show that Cancer or Disability, needn't stop you having a go, because it doesn't stop me. I didn't feel like I'd failed, I was as 'proud, as punch' for having a go. And felt energised, and sociable, instead of achy and lonely at home staring at the 4 walls of my lounge.
By now all my hair on my head has gone.  And I don't like the thought of people who don't know me ? Assuming that my life is shit? Because I do promise  and I have wondered, if in fact I'm in some kind of denial?  Apart from the loads of appointments, I have to keep, for my own good. And I do not feel as physically strong. For example, I'm quite bothered by the fact that I can no longer cycle to the shop, Drs, or bus stop. I am taking my dog Holly, for a ride to the Meadow, and woods, on the flat, it's only about half a mile though :( I do quite miss being able to be self reliant)
I am really aching today, it is Tuesday, my skin is peeling on my fingers, my pubes have long since gone. And I'm disturbed that every time I look at my phone screen, stray eye lashes fall. But luckily, I have the luxury of not moving terribly far today. But I've just agreed, to do some work for TLAP (please google it, they are so supportive of their members, and they do help me feel useful.
Macmillan fund issued me with a cheque to buy a Wig, so today I am going with my lovely Niece Amanda, to do just that. I'm a bit sad because I would normally have cycled there. But I'm not up to it yet :( In her lunch hour the lovely Amanda, collected me in the car.
Click for OptionsEeeeek, Daisy's words 'Don't you dare go blonde' echoed in my ears, as I settled on, a wig. A blonde one.
I had decided, to be brave and face loads of important folk in my life, at the same time. My cycling buddies,.So I caught a taxi to Hillsborough on my own, because I know it's a travesty, but I have to pay £5extra (each way) for the taxi to take my trike. Even though it's my wheelchair, in fact even if it was a standard conventional wheelchair, it would cost anyone that! Eeeek, I was a bit nervous, how would folk respond. The lovely Dave had collected my lunch for me :) I pulled up, and my friends waited with bald heads, looking like 'Hard Mafia guys'
Click for Options Steve Marsden, looked cool, in my wig, in fact it was the first thing he did, was respectfully ask, if he could have a go. :) And then Gill Price (who is responsible for most of the pics!! Everyone helped me feel great.
But I think the highlight of the day for me, was getting my friend Grant from Friends Together, to sit down longer than 30 seconds, and paint my finger nails.
Here's me enjoying all the attention!!!
My mate Lorraine came back with me on the Community Transport bus, bless her she carried my bags, and fussed around me, it was great. And so lovely the way folk look out for me.
Ey up, we're nearly done :) Friday, saw me working in Manchester, for TLAP. I had to tell my favourite story :) You know the one about how so many folk Coproduced my mission, of me swapping my Mobility Scooter for a Recumbent Trike, for the school run. Who would have thought it could lead to so much.
Sheffield Cycling 4 All runs every Thursday at Hillsborough Park 10-3.

Thursday, 2 July 2015

4 Slap heads

4 Slap heads

Pics soon, I promise I'm just aching so much, I can't walk into the kitchim to get my moby. I know I'm a terrible lightweight .

Chemotherapy tomorrow at 10.30. Think of me?

And Mr Hickmans not doing his job :) I needed 4 injections in my ever collapsing veins!! yesterday

Good mood, it could just be because I'm off my face on steroids, which I need to take b4 during and after my chemo.

Monday, 29 June 2015


And no I don't mean Sheffields very own music festival. I mean the 'Wanna be' razor slits in my eyebrows that I so wish were razor slits!! But are in fact another side effect to Chemotherapy. I looked down at my mobile phone today, and it was covered in eyelashes and brow hairs. :( pubes first, facial hair second!! JOKE I've never had facial hair. Not that theres anything wrong with facial hair on men or women, HELP me please, i'm trying not to be offensive!!

I can't even be trusted realistically to put falsies on safely, and not appear like I'm being infested by stray spiders on my cheeks! Ooops i nearly said hair, forgot I haven't got any!!

I'm trying not to alter my routine too much, I'm still cycling in the morning, but basically it's because it's easier than walking!

I'm quite interested in the Greenspeed Magnum :) mmmmm £4700

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Hickman Line? - I've just realised, my friends called Kevin Hickman....:D

I am so knackered, after spending 6 hours walking round Western Park Hospital today.

I feel like rejoicing because I actually asked about the Hickman Line as an alternative, to potentially disabling my strong arm? Why didn't they just miss out the lymph nodes all together and thrust the line into one of my main arteries in my chest? One of the consultants replied when I asked why it wasn't a first choice 'It's a bit of a faff'. For Who? was my reply :) Because I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but obviously I'd rather have the procedure that runs no risk to me losing my functions in my right arm!  especially as it is my non affected side.

After been educated by my taxi driver, on the way to hospital this morning :) Who's Wife had now been clear of Cancer for 10 years!! The Pic Line Nurse, began educating me for real, and telling me the whys and wont's, of Picc Line versus Hickman Line. I concluded that it was a no brainer, but was immediately worried that I'd put people out etc!! Liz came for lunch before leaving at 12.15. My next appointment was with the Oncologist, I met with Sue and Amanda, Who took notes for me. I've been prescribed Steroids wich I needv to take the day before chemo and during and after- yummy I can't wait for those then!!

Oh I forgot to say? What a fab woman Chris is in the library, with the Bandanas. Of which I bought a ready made one with a tie bit that flows over my shoulder, like pretend hair!! I am sad I know, but I can dream of having luscious locks again?? Well I got one from her, and the lovely nurse I met when trying to organise a Hickman Line for tomorrow? Well she gave me 3 more!! So Liz if your still wanting to borrow one for Glastonbury ?? Although I'm not sure that they look very nice when you've got real hair!!

Sadly, I AM NOT going to SC4A tomorrow, but I think it's a small sacrifice to pay?

So to my friends at TLAP I will be nearly back to my delightful self, by the Gig in Bournmouth, but you don't know the real me (Cackle!!! Cackle!!!), I will be bald as a Coot!! mind you!! (Coot's ok to say, isn't it? I think it's a big bird???  I've either been incapacitated due to a double fracture, or struck down with Cancer a week, after been discharged from Orthopaedics, but hey ho! I will work out the dates for you tomorrow, if you're still there. And I will send em over the weekend.

The same goes for BIRRP, the Brain Injury Rehab Research Partnership the original Co Producers, before the word was invented. Some time around 2006? Myself and another Survivor, and a Carer, Clinicians and Managers, together we decided on a research question, based on Survivors comments, And the 2 Survivors ask, fellow Survivors their thoughts. at abig reunion of folk who'd passed through the Rehabilitation process of SCBIRT. 

But my Basic Routine is : Pre Chemo checks on a Friday, Steroids, anti biotics (I have argued about the AB!!! but they said I must in their considerable experience take a small dose during and just after chemo           :( How crap is that though!!!  Amd on the Monday, go and be hooked up to Drips feeding 'Mustard Gas' into my vein. Mustard Gas? How do you think they stumbled on that being a cure? Apparently I spend the first week, head in a bucket whilst straining, 9on the closy!!!

I'm so sorry this isn't funny, but I'm very tired.

Oh and sorry Jill I won't be there tomorrow, but will be there onn the 18th, but some of us will not come down to the MUGA until 12? because of the Monthly SC4A meet, at the Arena.

Night, Night

Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Eeeeek PICC line

All my Yesterdays.... were good, :) I went to London for a TLAP meet, and hey I'm getting good at catching trains :D deon't laugh!!!! It's true. With minutes to spare I got from the East End of London, caught 2 trains, 2 taxis, and picked up a curry. It took 3 hrs!!!

And Lovely Todays :) A bit of idle pleasure, was spent drinking Coffee with a long time friend, who knew me in the dull days of Jock, I'm pleased to say that she always knew there was more to me than Jocks Limpet.


  • A PICC line is a long, thin, flexible tube known as a catheter. It is inserted into one of the large veins of the arm near the bend of the elbow. It is then threaded into the vein until the tip sits in a large vein just above the heart.

  • Saturday, 6 June 2015

    Write Way Group Fridays post :)

    For those of you who eagerly await news of the little writing group, that I attend? I went there yesterday. And he made it tricky??? Creative juices didn't flow, neither did any other sort for that matter. I couldn't be funny, am I turning dull? Maybe it's The Cancer? I am feeling a bit doom and gloom at the moment, I've just read about 'Metatistic' Breast Cancer. Which is stage 4 (I'm stage 3) And there is no cure, your days are numbered, if that appears.

    So bring on the Chemo!!!

    Friday, 5 June 2015

    Poo Face?

    Caroline Waugh Sheffield Cycling 4 All good hair/hat day smile emoticon
    Jill Price and me in the cold last week!!

    Not many folk will know the answer, to that. And as you can see the picture is from last week, in stark difference to the blazing sun yesterday.Musn't Grumble!! It was lovely.

    I had got myself, in a right pickle on the previous night. It's a bit boring, so shall I say? Yep! I had expected some rail tickets for the 4th (yesterday) and Monday, to go to London. I was/am doing some work around Self Directed Support, for Think Local Act Personal. Who are sooo understanding of all my individual needs, which in fact I'm not aware of until, my inability to do things right. Becomes apparent, for example.....I received the special delivery from Royal ~Mail, a bundle of letters and a couple of goody parcels from ebay!! I signed, and the wee postie was gone. I put my letters down at my desk on the white printing paper. Grabbing the one from Trainline, to check and put the 100's of tickets in some kind of essemblence (?) Mmmm but they were only for Monday, blast, crikey and all the other expletives!!!

    So I hastily did the things, I'm supposed to do notifying folk etc I won't go into detail on Wednesday. But Thursday is usually a really busy day for me anyway. And my daughter along with 000s 0000s even ? had her GCSE Maths, and so everyone was walking on eggshells, in our house.  So I decided at 7pm to try rearranging a normal Thursday!!! Fortunately I know some kind folk, and I have always been very creative with my SDS budget, so Rocky like a star, agreed to take me to Hillsborough to SC4A at a bargain price. Which I can pay for out of my SDS budget, because it meets many needs including Social, Community, Transport, Exercise, Health and Well being. Then, I stared at the white on white on my printing paper!!! It was an envelope, with Rail tickets in for the 4th!!!! How silly I felt? In mitigation? My eyesight is shit!!!I can neither role my eyes to look down, or judge distances!!

    It does mean, that TLAP can now get a refund though.

    Thursday arrived and I took Holly dog for a Cycle, in the Meadow, where I met Polly. Polly was possibly going for her last walk, ever. It was very sad, to see the Greyhound stumbling round. Head held low, eyes were dull and lifeless. She had won many a Trophy in her day. Apparently she could no longer lie down. She had spent the night pacing around the downstairs crying. With her Mum and Dad (adopted humans) sat up with her. I secretly thought they should have her put to sleep :( But Hey, she isn't mine. And regretfully, I know I've had pets before, which I haven't let die.

    I arrived at Hillsborough, in the glorious sunshine, the courts were packed with Cyclists on 2 wheels, and no one had arrived yet to cycle the adapted bikes, except for David. As in Sue and David, who are both founder members of Sheffield Cycling 4 All, David brings his own adapted Cycle, in Sues car. He is the Survivor of a Stroke, which means he's dependant on a crutch, to get about. But moves like a dream, once transferred onto his trike. Sue produced flasks of hot water for tea and coffee, and me? I had actually remembered milk. Ahh then I saw Alan, who was very frail. And was being supported a lot by one of my bestest friends, the beautiful Dave. On a 2 wheeler. Eeeeek, I rushed over and begged Alan to try a 3 wheeler instead. ' Come on Alan, lets go for a cycle around the park?' I said, and off we went. He did confess to me that at the age of 82!!!!his dream was to buy a Brompton!!!! What an intelligent articulate guy he was though.

    And Jack came back from last week, he had worn out his carer cycling around the park. His carer rested on the concrete next to my trike, and laughed declaring that he was knackered and that Jack could go alone now. He told me that Jack was a changed person, since he'd come cycling, it gave him so much confidence. Because he looked cool, on his Trike, and it could go fast. And everybody he met at SC4A, was so accepting of him.

    I gave my personal Cycle Trainer a birthday card. I shan't give away his age.....but 'Your looking good' for it. Even better when you've been for a cycle. :)

    Sunday, 31 May 2015


    I cycled my trike to the forest, as normal today. Only, I thought I better be quick because the delightful new bush cutter was coming!! She's called Julie, a different one to Julie Andrews, who some of you have heard of.

    I was just in the meadow bit, so I extended the lead, and Holly skipped round, tangling the lead, and I don't know how but so tightly, it had got under the mud guard, and even trapping the tyre in 2 halves....I can't explain!! I'm just not articulate enough!!But the wheel was jammed, the lead was jammed. So I had to be a boy scout and take my hand bag off (I don't know how many scouts have hand bags!) aqnd tie it to Hollys collar. And lift the stationary wheel in the air and pull Ziggy, back to my house. Now I was nearly crying, I had passed several folk. Non of who offered to help, my new moby screen is a nightmare, because I cant use it outside, because I can't see the screen. Then I spotted Finn, my little darling, rushing out in his socks to see if he could help. But he didn't half give me abuse when he reached me, and saw what the problem was. Any way I was very childish and through the bike pump at his feet!! And stormed off whoops!!! I can't fall out with my friend and Ali, so I apologised straight away. And he won't forgive me :(

    I've spoken to Rocky, whose a lot cheaper than Steve, and asked him to come and help me, I have tried really hard, sooo hard, I wanted to cry :(

    On a brighter note, my lady garden, the grassy one with privit? Is looking much better :)

    Thursday, 28 May 2015

    Old...:) as in Usuals!! and some Newbies

    Fantastic, a new chap came this morning at 9. We never get folk at 9, so he was very welcome, and had Steve and 3 volunteers fussing around collecting money, asking questions. It was great I could feel his excitement as he decided on a bike :) Richard and his carer, were off round the park, after displaying sense and control. They were very happy. Next a Family of 4 arrived, the Mum Debbie was lovely, she said '' Oh your hair looks lovely, since you've had it cut' I asked if we'd met? Oh no but I've seen you here with the bikes a lot! said the Mum who was the lovely and called Debbie. Now I cant remember the name of the little boy other than to say I want to call him Bob!!! because that's what he did constantly whilst on the Side by Side hand crank with James. And according to his Mum and Dad that's what he does when he's happy :) James will be like Popeye!!! Because he really didn't want to stiop. His Sister had the wheel chair Hand Cycle, and she did really well, just needing an occasional push.

    It was so good seeing 3 new faces, who were all young and enthusiastic. And would have possibly cycled all day. We could do with some more bikes, Steve comented. HYey that would be fab, if we ever got to that stage!!

    Ahhhhh, meanwhile in the Kitchen area, my heart broke a little :( The Beautiful Dave (provider of food and drink) xxxx and his little Harem of adoring women.....and Roy!!! This woman, came rushing back in the door holding very delicately a speckled baby Thrush (not a Veneral disease!!) with it's head tilting and it's eyes closing.... and then they closed, and death took the bird. Actually Dave did!! And placed it under the hedge :( But the woman, told of how she'd rescued the bird from a group of Magpies, who were pecking it , poor thing.

    I cycled back down, to see folk before I had to leave with Rocky, and saw the lovely Pat, Charlotte and Jim. Immediately Pat saw me her arm shot up, I guessed she was pleased. Hi Jim, and Charlotte I will see you next week.

    I missed Marjorie, Barry, Jill and Friends Together. Sorry folks.xxxx

    Wednesday, 27 May 2015

    A Walk In The Park!! :)

    I know everyone's just presumed that my leg is back to normal, after sustaining a horrible double fracture last year, sorry to go on about it all the time :)Chris Baddog Borham's photo. But I walked the furthest, I have since that day today. With Becky Virgo, and her children, and Holly dog. As well as doing my usual cycle in the meadow, and to the shops :) But I had an insy fall last week, that I aint mentioned? But I believe I cracked a rib? So I think I did well, steady on, don't all agree at once. With Well done Caroline!!!
    Click for Options

    Look at Holly dogs very grey face.

    I read with interest that Sheffield Council, has got ££££s towards the integration of Health and Social Care???

    I also hear from my good friend within Health Watch, that Basically folk with Brain Damage of varying causes, are invited to work with Paces in Sheffield, on a brighter future??? and the next Paragraph, was about Breast Cancer Champions??

    I'm going to Sheffield Cycling 4 All tomorrow, with Rocky, and I will have to come back with Rocky, at 1.00 because Community Transport let me down AGAIN. I could hang on for a paid lift at 3.00 but, I don't think I've got enough stamina. But it means I will miss the big group, Friends Together, who are such happy guys. They make me smile.

    See you tomorrow if you're going :)

    Monday, 25 May 2015

    :) Friendly Me

    I forgot to mention, many things yesterday. One of the things, was to folk, who know me am I soooo transparent? I was just getting Ziggy out of her Cave, (purpose built bike shed, under my porch). I'd tied Holly dog up, because she's not good :( And this woman, walked past my drive, stopped , and started talking about Holly dog. Saying how beautiful she was???? errrrm, not really I thought! Bless her, she's got qualities, but beauty isn't one of them :) I told her how we were off for a cycle in the meadow, and smiled. To which she responded with, 'My names Zoe, and I've got Breast Cancer,' and heavily drawing on a freshly lit cigarette. Oh....ok, I replied and thought do I tell her, about me? Hey since when have I been able to hold back? But I waited a bit, bless her, she knew nobody in Sheffield. But after her diagnosis, she had thought it sensible to move from Wales to Totley Sheffield, where her Sister lived. Wow!! I'm very lucky to know so many folk, and be helped and supported.

    I have taken the first steps, in the Saga (I hope not) of getting my Pedal Assist repaired. West Country Recumbent have been lovely and helpful. My plan is hopefully, to send my battery and charger, back to York. Fingers crossed they will be able to repair it. Return it, I'm hoping it's cheapish, I told them my circumstances, because it's really hard explaining why it's really, really important. Without giving a clear picture. And hopefully, they
    will send it back repaired, so that Steve Marsden, can fix it back to the Boom, which is a different one, to the one that has my Slumph drive on. Hey do I sound impressive?? Nah, I thought not :) I can't fool many folk, into thinking, I know the mechanics of a greenspeed trike.

    I also went to the Moorlands, via car, for tea yesterday with my good friend Kathryn. We don't half put the world to rights.

    Oh yeah a big THANK YOU to Mcmillan Cancer, for their generous cheque, towards the additional costs, like a body pillow and a digital thermometer.  They look so comfortable the pillows, but how creepy is this!!! I'm not getting one of these sort.

    Saturday, 23 May 2015

    The Neccersaries and unneccersaries? :)

    The post I have been waiting for arrived today, I was quite .....I am quite excited?? Nervous?? But the date arrived for the beginning of my Chemotherapy treatment. And I kind of think the sooner it starts, the sooner it's finished.

    I have actually got The Magic Rounder -bout music going round in my head, as I rush from each activity, to new experience which undoubtedly will make me vomit :(

    Just let me say this super quick, I think I'm off to London on the 8th, for an NCAG meet, and I think it's to identify folk who are interested in publicity, and networking. Just the sort of stuff I love, but I am not very technical so ?? And the best bit, is that my friend Kev Hickman, is going to meet me at St Pancras, for lunch??? No Pressure now Kev :) Oh and West Country Recunbent are absolute stars, I must get my battery for my Pedal Assist fixed, I have made the first teetering steps into doing just that. And I could so rant about s'thing the CTC have done, or not done!! But another time.

    I've just reread that, and it's a bit like word association  :) But only I know the association!!!

    But the thing I'm dreading more than the Chemo is happening on the 10th, it is my PICC line, which I know is better than the prospect of my veins collapsing all the time, and no it really does happen to me a lot honestly.. I'm not just being my usual over dramatic self.  Anyway, it looks terrifying on the Informative very scary leaflet that I have been sent. It does advise, that I bring someone who doesn't mind having their hand held, and crushed. Why can't I have sexy attractive strong veins, that would take on a bullet, not shy away from and collapse at a pin prick!!

    I am assured I can cycle, skydive, trampoline and wear a tampon, whilst wearing a flowing white dress and a PICC line!!! So I intend to go to Sheffield Cycling 4 All, on Thursday the 9th.

    I feel there ought to be a drum role, Friday the 10th I have my first Chemo session.

    Lorraine bought me some Adult Zen colouring books, and some cool coloured pencils. And the amount of times I've had to stop my children aged 16 and 12 from stealing them is untrue!! So I'm really looking forward, to having a bash, at those.

    Bye for Now......xx

    Friday, 22 May 2015

    Going, going, nearly gone!!!

    Caroline Waugh and bird of paradise - which is which?

    My smile probably doesn't fool anyone??? I am petrified, of the coming months. But not as frightened as I'd be if I wasn't suitable for Chemotherapy.
    My morning began with a Cycle to the local Meadow, with Holly dog, poor thing she's not keen on Thursdays. Not that she's intelligent enough to know!! That she will be locked in her crate until lunchtime!! She just happily skips along, next to my trike. She's got used to it, but it's difficult for most dogs, because I don't actually go that fast, and whippets can't trot!!
    Steve picked me up, with my trike ...Ziggy. in his van, and off we went to Cycling 4 Alls meeting. Where I am Joint Chair. I know we wouldn't have survived as a group, if it wasn't for everyone's continued work, we make a good committed team, who are so passionate about the adapted cycles. And what a difference they make, to peoples lives. Anyway, enough rambling I'm sure you've heard it all before, gi me my soap box!!!
    It is extremely quiet at the moment, between 10 and 12, so any punters reading??? Please come then :) But come 1.30, all 16 cycles were in use, by a group of regular Punters from Friends Together, who are brilliant. They are so happy and enthusiastic, the staff share that enthusiasm. And it really shows :)
    We also have the People who come, with their own Family and Carers like the Lovely Pat, who to be honest it's hard to tell, what she's thinking. Unless you know her well, and I am lucky enough to know have known her Carer since I was 18, and first worked at the main Psychiatric hospital, in Sheffield, which sadly?? has long gone and is now a new housing estate

    I was delighted, to meet some new fascinating people yesterday, who came to look at Sheffield Cycling 4 All. One particular young lady, so reminded me of me!!! She had had, a Traumatic Brain Injury, and communicated only with a beautiful smile, and thumbs up and down for yes and no!! I told her, I was the same once! and I think she took some comfort out of this. Because Although, I will never get back to how I once was, when I was young, very fit, but actually smoked like a chimney!! I am happier, and more independent, since my brain injury, recent fractured limbs. and cancer, than I was before. Maybe it's because of my beautiful kids?? or being happy with my own company sometimes, and not constantly searching for a partner, I'm just enjoying my life how it is and I take on the challenges life throws in, but not to do battle with them. But to live with them, and embrace the changes and different experiences.

    Wow, this is a deep and heavy one!!!

    Sorry, if I missed out anything., or anyone :)

    Tuesday, 19 May 2015

    My Paps!!!!

    As I sat there in the consultation, with my sister in law, Sue, and my Paps out it was decided that I have no infection. I also have no shame!!! with Nurses rushing around, bolting doors, and drawing screens more closed, just in case someone was to enter the room without knocking!! Heaven Forbid!!

    Anyway because my wound infection, has cleared up beautifully, I think I deposited all the yukky smelly stuff at Steve Marsdens feet, last week!!It was decided that, I can start my Chemotherapy as soon as....and for those of you in the know?? about this type of thing. The anti cancer treatment isCyclophosphamicle andDocetckoi or 01????

    My brother and Sue, whose been with me today :) Have spoilt me, they bought me a new hanging basket. A proper bathroom door, and are looking at some super cool bedroom curtains.

    If anyone knows owt about the treatment I'm having??Will they tell me? I'm going to google it, it's probably a mistake, ignorance is bliss type of thing.

    Monday, 18 May 2015

    The Luxury of Counselling!!

    I attended my first session of counselling today. The Counselling, that was supposed to help, with my broken Tibia and Fibula15months ago. And the fear, and hatred I have of Organisations, like Seva Care, who profit out of peoples misery. I am very relieved to learn, that Seva Care didn't get Sheffield Councils care contract. Perhaps they declared Bankruptcy? and emerged as another name??

    Anyway my Counsellor was called Carol, she was nice, but to be fair she didn't say a lot. But I know that's a skill? That I don't possess many might say!!! She thought, I had a very positive attitude, which was the right way to deal with the difficulties, I was to face.

    Anyway, I've got a hospital visit tomorrow at the Big C hosp!! to see the big C man!!!about my treatment programme, I'm hoping, he will suggest Chemo, because that improves my chances of survival. And I want to live.

    Friday, 15 May 2015

    I dribbled, and snotted everywhere and everytime!!!

    I haven't been terribley pro active, this week, did you notice? But I did go to C4A on Thursday, well I kind of slimed my way there in Steve Ms van, with Ziggy in the back.  Had a quick Cycle round the Park a few times, with the lovely Marj and Barry. And sought solace in the kitchen area, with Lovely Dave and Rocky.

    It was blinking cold though!!! Steve and James, took it in turns to come and get a warm. I think we were a bit down on Punters too. But hopefully we have been subsidising the open sessions with a couple of Closed Sessions, where groups either pay £75. for half a day or £150 for 6hrs. For that they get a trasined W4A instructer, an assistant, and 12 bikes!! Bargain.

    Ahh bless, you know the 100 year old woman, who lived in a shoe? I don't actually think she lived in a shoe,  it just Rhymed!!! She received 4 million Birthday Cards!!!

    Wednesday, 13 May 2015

    I spy Little Hands

    I'm so chilled, is it normal? Or is it called 'Bone Idle'? After waiting 1 hour, for a 2.00 Oclock appointment, I was ushered up the progression ladder, how exciting I could now sit on the corridor!!! Outside the nurse that I was waiting to see. Then I spotted, a trolley, followed by a pair of tiny hands, coming out the open door. It was my surgeon, he passed comment about me taking 4000mg of penicillin per day!!As he passed!! Yep....I wasn't likely to forget that. I finish tonight.

    I think my AB have stopped my 'Summer Cold', becoming anything more sinister. But my nose is like a tap!!! I feel like an elderly woman, whose got a permanent drip on the end of her nose.

    The lovely Anj, had taken me, after we'd enjoyed lunch in MP Millhouses Park. She offered to collect me, but I can't put anyone through the ordeal, of sitting in traffic. For me.

    I am a bit knackered, so I will go to SC4A to wake myself up and feel alive again. Steve M is taking me, and trimming me bush after!!

    Am I mother Theresa? I sent a birthday card to a lady today who is celebrating her 100 birthday, and she has no family, or friends :( Well incredibly! It was the care agency, who work with her that put out an appeal on FaceBook, and Radio Sheffield.

    How lovely I'd love to see her face when she receives them all. :)

    Tuesday, 12 May 2015

    Eeeeeek, The Dates!!!

    I received my appointment, with Mr Winters? the Oncologist today, it is Tuesday the 19th. Apparently, it's a 'Getting to know you' type of session. I am grateful, for it being so quick. Sue my sister in laws, meeting me there. Which is good, because my memory fails me a lot :) I was given the option, of having it taped. Do they actually mean taped?? I don't know anyone who owns a tape recorder???

    I need to price up my cancer shopping list!!!! and see what I might be able to claim for.

    I'm using my spare dressing in the morning, to get squeaky clean, so I can thrust my nubile Tits in my Drs little hands!!And Thank you Brigitte, for the observation, about size been relative!! x

    Saturday, 9 May 2015

    ''Just suck my Tit'' - or not, as is the case!!

    My dressing of course!!!

    Negative Pressure Wound Therapy System

    Now more than ever, there is a drive to treat patients away from resource-intensive hospitals, to treatment in the community

    Above is the thing that's worked perfectly until this morning. I think, to be honest I am a bit allergic to the dressings again. Because during the night I had rubbed the dressings off my skin, there fore breaking the seal. That makes it work. So I awoke to the buzzer sounding in my ear. I phoned Ward F2 at the Hospital, I think the nurse that answered was the one who nearly carried out CPR on me, when I was admitted to the ward 3 weeks ago. She passed me on to the ward sister. And it is so bad that not more is done for single people, who don't have a car and driver at their disposal. I promised that I would get it checked out on Monday by my GP or a district nurse, and she was happy. So I am happy.

    CPISRA World Games

    Apart from, the fact that I missed my 'Games Starter' Induction, in Nottingham for the Cerebral Palsy World Games:( Which would have been so fabulous, because I couldn't believe my luck, there was a train to Nottingham,  leaving from Dore at 8.30am. Arriving at 9.30, just a short ride on the tram. And I was there at Nottingham Trent University, where all the Game Starters, were to meet with Team GB, and hear what would be expected.

    I know I couldn't have done it today:( So I'm glad I didn't push myself. I did however go for an insy ride with Holly dog, to the meadow for a poo. Her you must understand!!! It was so blustery, I love cycling in that type of weather my trike, is made for it.

    Friday, 8 May 2015

    Bring It On!!!

    It's me, showing off my best attributes!!! I'll let you decide!!! (the tops of my shoes were polished) and I feel good, about the oncoming Chemo?

    Gill Price's photo.Photo by Gill Price :)

    I am eternally grateful, to my breast man with the little hands, and Kath my Cancer Nurse. And I know they're not directly involved with cutting services, and where money goes.  But I had to let it be known, that I was in a terrible state, which could have been so easily prevented. Instead yesterday, they were talking of admitting me to hospital, there an then. Wiring me up to a drip of  Anti Biotics over the weekend, costing the NHS £1000s, in extra care!!. So anyway after I'd 'Vented my spleen' (in my dreams, that was removed in my original medical calamity!!) He continued to try and squeeze my 'Right Tit' that isn't very right!!! I calmly said ' Oooh You'll not get very much out, I've milked that udder this morning!!!':D I was ignored!! :D But he did comment on how clean and cared for it was, considering I had gone in there with a Sanitary Towel strapped to it, with Micropore, I took this as a compliment. Whatever anyway, it probably saved me from spending time in hospital.

    The Very good news is, that my Cancer hasn't spread. He removed it all :)...leaving only a 5% chance of it ever coming back. But if (yes please) I am suitable for Chemotherapy, 5% goes down to 0% chance of it's return.

    I'm taking 4000!!!!! mg of Flufloxacillin per day by tablet.

    And If you see me smiling it's because I've got a Pad cupping my Right Tit, with tube that connects to a battery in my pocket, that intermittently gives it a squeeze!!!

    Thanks to so many folk for yesterday, Sue for coming with me, laundering my Sodden, smelly sweat shirt,  bringing me back down, to earth with questions like, should Caroline be Cycling?? :) ...drinking? Which I haven't done since surgery incidentally, drinking that is. And beautifully delivering me to SC4A, after my appointment. And Gill for 'Get this, it's amazing!!! ' Cutting her hair, in preparation, for the shave off!! Marjorie and Barry, for bringing my favourite Yougart Raisins :) Dave, for being Dave and getting my lunch again. Steve, James, Sue, Simone, My friends from Friends Together, Charlotte Jim and Pat, Oh and Ian and Dan. And anyone else who shared my experience yesterday.  I do love you all, you keep me alive!!!

    Wednesday, 6 May 2015

    'Titless Wonder' becomes 44 G overnight!!!

    I actually had not a bed nights sleep, all things considered. But when I awoke, My Right tit, was bursting, and hard and painful, and I was still frozen so I rang the breast clinic, and my gps for some antibiotics. (how many buttons must you press to speak to a real live person!!The bouncer woman receptionist, said 'Oh No love, What's a lumpectomy?'

     Urrrgh. Kath my Cancer Nurse called. And suggested I call (another phone call) the district nurses, to come out and visit.

    Meanwhile Steve Marsden was cutting grass, fixing doors, and putting the shower curtain up. I love wasting his time :) and was enjoying Morning Tea, with him.

    Foul smells kept drifting, and I naturally blamed the dog. And we laughed at how much dogs trumps smell!!! Then to my absolute horror, I looked down, and it was as if one side of me was entering a 'Wet T Shirt competition!! Steve bless him, had to confirm that, yes indeed, it was my right breast!! The wound had split open, due to the swelling. (He will be having nightmares forever) He waited till the district nurses were on their way, and excused hiself (was probably chucking his guts up) Nurse came and Milked my udder, except it certainly wasn't white and milky, More yellow, and very stinky and ran like a torrent out of the side of my booby.

    I really have no shame :)

    Despite this I needed some shopping and a shot of my medicine that never fails. Cycling :) So I cycled with Holly dog, to the local Tesco, and Steve collected me, shopping, and trike.

    I am going to SC4A tomorrow, after I've been to the hospital, I'm using hospital transport, Sue my sister in Law is coming too. And Community transport, from Hospital to Hillsborough and home. I will find out if (probably), my Chemo starts and if it's spread to my Lymph Nodes, and I need another operation. Talking of which, I can usually pull my heavy self, into Steve's car... and I couldn't today. :(

    Tuesday, 5 May 2015

    Sorry about that folks!! i am back

    Technology used to really bother me, and the fact that i am easily confused :) But hey it gets done eventually. When lovely Jon Frost, and his wee irish elf :) I say elf, in  the fondest of ways, he's like the courier, for broken computers. And delivers them back at the end of the day, all fixed  and fabulous, like magic. I always have a wee chat with him, and of course he asked, how I was :(and I started to cry :(, I've hardily slept all night, I nearly fell downstairs at 3, because in my haste to have an argument with  the bathroom door, I lurched for the hand rail, missing it!! So I should have fallen downstairs??? But my bonkers brain, saw pictures of blue flashing lights all inside my skull of course. And I thru my body into the bathroom, saving myself from DEATH!! Ok, Ok, maybe not.

    I haven't cycled for 2 days!!! It's not heard of !!

    And possibly why I am tearful, easily remedied? Not when 'your in the Zone'

    I feel like, I've got a temperature, and I'm freezing my Paps off!!! literally drinking every water based drink in the house (which makes me wee all night) My beautiful nipples :) sorry to give you this image. Are hurting because my nips are going erect because of the cold. Which is excruciating!!! and the reason why I don't want to go outside.

    Did you see my Heroin? last night in the C word?? Lisa Lynch, I started following her blog, about 5 years ago. I cant recall the name of the actress, who played Lisa? She did a fab performance though. I want to keep being me, all the way through my treatment. :) I want to Live with Cancer, not thinking that I'm raging some war, all the time. I'n not a nasty person, I don't do 'Battling'

    Friday, 1 May 2015

    I missed yesterday :( At Sheffield Cycling 4 All

    And I didn't feel any better, for taking it easy. So I went for a gentle cycle this morning....steady...on, it was only about half a mile!! That's about as  far as I can get before I have to put in any effort, with a hill.

    On closer inspection, (I have difficulty because I can't look down) I have so many attractive features!!!!My bicep is ok, the nearer the elbow you get.  But my shoulder is mushy to touch :( It could vaguely get away with been normal. But I know it's not normal for me!! I am usually very muscly, because my right side is my NORMAL!! side. (No part of me is normal, never has been and certainly never will be) But I have 4 wounds where my Lymph nodes were removed, and I removed the dressings as instructed, by the hospital, and it was so very painful, closer inspection today confirmed that I had an allergic reaction, to the surgical tape (nice :)) And when I pulled the tape off, I pulled the skin off the blisters!!! It's been left to scab and f#**** itch!!10pc 1.25cm*5m pe steel tape surgical pe adhesive tape PE protective film tape medical perforated breathable medical pe tape

    I wish it was easier for me to cycle :(

    I have booked  Community Transport, to pick me up at the Hospital, after My Appointment, when I get my Cancer Results on the 7th. I have missed people from Hillsborough too much, to miss it again.

    Ahhh Marjorie called today, bless her to say that she had missed me, and to see hw I was.

    Thursday, 30 April 2015

    :0( I din't go to SC4A!!!

    I woke this morning, with an hour and a half to go, before My lift collected me. And fair enough my lift was from Rocky who occasionally supports my friend Dave the lovely Dave :) At Cycling with Confidence (All the different cycling groups have new names :) but they all do the same) Anyway Rocky, would normally cycle to Hillsborough, but hearing of my plight, offered to take me s'times. Which was so very kind of him. Anyway with sore 'Tits' 'Breasts' 'Boobs'??? Mmmmm, what shall I call em today? I quite like 'Lovely Jubbilies' but I think it's a Tit day!!! But I was feeling sorry for myself, and sore, unattractive, and a bit 'Vinegar Tits!!'

    So, I didn't go to Hillsborough today, an no one from SC4A, missed me, they coped!!!

    Hi Kevin, will you do me a guest blog, about Disability Cycling in Germany please?? :)

    Wednesday, 29 April 2015

    My Lymph Nodes, and arms like turkey necks

    I was told by Mr Kohlhardt, a rather small man with small hands, which I imagined cupping my rather large breasts :) a strange vision. The nurses had told me, that he was impeccable in his neatness, and took a pride in his workman ship. Well in 95% of cases, but unfortunately, I was the 5%, that wasn't impeccable!!  I'm sure you would not believe my bad luck?! Life is so very unfair. I really am not smiling at all :( But I went in the shower tonight, and half my bicep rises up, and is very muscley a bit popeye like. and as if taught by a band the other half of my bicep hangs down, like a mirror image nearly.

    Life's a bit shit really. but at least I have it!!

    But I have got an appointment in his Clinic on Thursday the 7th.

    And if they'd said to me, Oh well we can test your lymph nodes to see if it has spread? But your muscles will collapse, but you'll live??? I know what I'd have said???.....just do it.

    So now, I've wiped my tears, and ready for another day, at Sheffield Cycle 4 All tomorrow,  I will probably spend my time, drinking coffee, but I know I won't?? After, the nice messages, I've had from folk, I will have to say hello to everyone.

    I THINK I'm going to Nottingham on Saturday the 9th, for the Meet and Greet the Tea\m of Games Starters, who are facilitating the Cerebral Palsy World Games. Of which I have been chosen to be one. It's very exciting!!! It could nearly occupy my thoughts, if it wasn't for C!!!

    Tuesday, 28 April 2015

    To Do or not to Do???

    I have been lucky enough to be selected, as a Games Starter, for the Cerebal Palsey World Games in Nottingham this year. Mmmmm I don't know, I mean I'd love to, how exciting!! But what with the BBig C and chemo...?

    Monday, 27 April 2015

    I feel a rite tit!!

    Most of the time!!!! with my right palm of my hand , always making sure my clothes and the medical dressings are protecting - a bit, but it does get so that that won't do, and is replaced by stumpy fingers - a pen- scissors. My wound is sending me bonkers. :(

    I was contacted by the Cerebal Palsy World Games today, about training to be a games starter. For the World Games in August, but I've told them I'm not doing it. Which is such a shame :(

    I went for lunch today, with my mate Anj, who had really hurt herself. I wish I could help her, cos she's always there for me. But Amazingly I cycled!!!! and felt really safe, but my wound is F* itching like bilio. And when I'm dancing roumd the frame of Ziggy to get on and off.

    Sunday, 26 April 2015

    What A Day -

    Space4Cycling Sheffield's photo.

    It looked like great fun, for 1000 people, really proving that in Sheffield really is 4 All :)

    Thanks to Stuart Ritson, who managed to pull off, what I have done before but with a harder Cycle - see top picture to0 raise publicity for SC4A. I aint really communicated, with folk, because I'm pretty self o0bsessed at the moment. And that's why Saturday was a pretty major day for me, because I was discharged from hospital, after just one night. Having undergone a Lumpectomy, on my Right Tit!!! or Breast, if Im being proper.

    I woke up from the General Anaesthetic, immediately looked down at my chest. And well Ive still got a cleavage! So there is hope, although I have big thick wads of dressing filling out the divet that's there(apparently)

    I had to smile at the young nurse, who admitted me to the ward, bless her she can't have been older than 25. She saw me and quickly took my bed, rammed it up to the wall, and plug sockets, and lowering my back rest, screaming her eyes blown, her left eye!! I felt like going along with it for a while, but the thought of electric pads, made me say 'Hey' I'm ok honest!! But even when I said that I was ok, she said 'Yes but you don't know what'sw happened to your eye' 'Urrrrr, I think I do I replied' :D

    Thursday, 23 April 2015

    Im unworthy!!!

    The world is full of very beautiful folk, most of who cycle :0) But saying that I've got lovely folk looking after me tomorrow. Who thankfully drive and are taking me to the hospital for my operation.

    I'm having my right tit chopped at 12.30 tomorrow :( My beautiful breasts!! or breast.

    So think of me chicks. I do intend to be fine, and have infact booked community transport to take me next week.

    It was great today, really lovely and sunny, lots of happy people.

    Wednesday, 22 April 2015

    It's Me!!!

    Can you see the resemblance? Apart from the very obvious bottom heavy one!!!
    I just keep falling, I'm not really aware of going dizzy as such, but my balance is totally 'shot to bits'
    I phoned the Cancer nurse today, and had a long chat, about it because I am concerned, that this was exactly what happened with my Dad. Who died at the age of 80, of Liver Cancer. Which is pretty good going, as he too had Brain Damage, sustained by a Traumatic Brain Injury. And if you have sustained a brain injury, your life expectancy is reduced, by 12 years on average. Apart from my Dad not having Breast Cancer! (which isn't as strange as it sounds) My Dad and I have an uncannily similar medical history.
    On Monday, I kind of fell forwards for no reason, and landed on my Gorgeous Trike, it's when I feel safest is when I'm grounded on my trike. But getting on and off is a different matter. Ziggy (my trike) is really low to the ground, and it's definitely down to skill and practise and not stomach muscles that makes me just find it a doddle normally, despite my disability.
    Let me tell you what happened yesterday, to enthuse all my cycling buddies. 
    Firstly, I don't very often know what day, it is at the moment. I hate feeling like this it's doing my cake hole in, and really worrying me, I usually have to be organised, with my life. After waiting in all day for a Washing Machine repair man, I rang them angrily at 4.30, wondering if he was coming? ' Yes Madam, he'll be with you tomorrow, as planned' :D What an arse!!!! I am getting to the point honestly!! Anyway, I had to dash to the co-op on Ziggy, and because I haven't got my pedal assist fitted anymore, I really go slowly up the hill. Good job too because as I got to the top, the rear of my trike, began to move sidewards, and back again. A very strange sensation. So I pulled in and parked up, only to discover, my back wheel was loose!!! (I might usually say it had come off) but I am prone to exag
    gerate. So I searched my girly hand bag, and found a spanner set!!! and fixed it!!!! all by myself!!!! I'm mighty proud. Although I will get it checked over tomorrow, at Sheffield Cycling 4 All, at Hillsborough Park between 10-3. :)
    Hey I'm right pleased to read, that SC4A are taking part in the Space 4 Cycling on Saturday the 25th, in Sheffield. I'm not able to go I will be recovering from my Operation in Hospital. If any cyclists can help out by escorting the Side by Side Tandam, into town from Hillsborough Park, can you meet at Hillsborough Park, at 9.15 am please. And check our new website out at designed by our newest committee member Stuart Ritson.

    I've just thought this isn't me at all, cos Mr Wobbly CAN'T fall down!!!

    Monday, 20 April 2015

    It's a start

    I don't know where to start??

    It will get interesting and even colourful, I promise. If you stay with it, my adventures aren't always to do with Cycling with a Disability, but that's what I do and what I have. But hopefully, I am a bit more than that too.

    February 2013, metaphorically speaking I was like the girl in the Elastoplast advert, merrily skipping along 'Skip, Skip, Trrrrrrrrrriiiip' only it took, a bit more than an Elastoplast to mend my broken Tibia and Fibula. In fact 5 months of 18 pins and 3 steel rings through and around my very  Jay Gardner's photo.sensitive leg.

    I am coming back honest!!!!

    Technological problems are rife, with me at the moment. But in the great scheme of things, real life has taught me, that they don't really matter. And I don't mean that to sound all sad, the opposite in fact.

    I will catch you regularly if you are reading this :)