Sunday, 31 May 2015


I cycled my trike to the forest, as normal today. Only, I thought I better be quick because the delightful new bush cutter was coming!! She's called Julie, a different one to Julie Andrews, who some of you have heard of.

I was just in the meadow bit, so I extended the lead, and Holly skipped round, tangling the lead, and I don't know how but so tightly, it had got under the mud guard, and even trapping the tyre in 2 halves....I can't explain!! I'm just not articulate enough!!But the wheel was jammed, the lead was jammed. So I had to be a boy scout and take my hand bag off (I don't know how many scouts have hand bags!) aqnd tie it to Hollys collar. And lift the stationary wheel in the air and pull Ziggy, back to my house. Now I was nearly crying, I had passed several folk. Non of who offered to help, my new moby screen is a nightmare, because I cant use it outside, because I can't see the screen. Then I spotted Finn, my little darling, rushing out in his socks to see if he could help. But he didn't half give me abuse when he reached me, and saw what the problem was. Any way I was very childish and through the bike pump at his feet!! And stormed off whoops!!! I can't fall out with my friend and Ali, so I apologised straight away. And he won't forgive me :(

I've spoken to Rocky, whose a lot cheaper than Steve, and asked him to come and help me, I have tried really hard, sooo hard, I wanted to cry :(

On a brighter note, my lady garden, the grassy one with privit? Is looking much better :)

Thursday, 28 May 2015

Old...:) as in Usuals!! and some Newbies

Fantastic, a new chap came this morning at 9. We never get folk at 9, so he was very welcome, and had Steve and 3 volunteers fussing around collecting money, asking questions. It was great I could feel his excitement as he decided on a bike :) Richard and his carer, were off round the park, after displaying sense and control. They were very happy. Next a Family of 4 arrived, the Mum Debbie was lovely, she said '' Oh your hair looks lovely, since you've had it cut' I asked if we'd met? Oh no but I've seen you here with the bikes a lot! said the Mum who was the lovely and called Debbie. Now I cant remember the name of the little boy other than to say I want to call him Bob!!! because that's what he did constantly whilst on the Side by Side hand crank with James. And according to his Mum and Dad that's what he does when he's happy :) James will be like Popeye!!! Because he really didn't want to stiop. His Sister had the wheel chair Hand Cycle, and she did really well, just needing an occasional push.

It was so good seeing 3 new faces, who were all young and enthusiastic. And would have possibly cycled all day. We could do with some more bikes, Steve comented. HYey that would be fab, if we ever got to that stage!!

Ahhhhh, meanwhile in the Kitchen area, my heart broke a little :( The Beautiful Dave (provider of food and drink) xxxx and his little Harem of adoring women.....and Roy!!! This woman, came rushing back in the door holding very delicately a speckled baby Thrush (not a Veneral disease!!) with it's head tilting and it's eyes closing.... and then they closed, and death took the bird. Actually Dave did!! And placed it under the hedge :( But the woman, told of how she'd rescued the bird from a group of Magpies, who were pecking it , poor thing.

I cycled back down, to see folk before I had to leave with Rocky, and saw the lovely Pat, Charlotte and Jim. Immediately Pat saw me her arm shot up, I guessed she was pleased. Hi Jim, and Charlotte I will see you next week.

I missed Marjorie, Barry, Jill and Friends Together. Sorry folks.xxxx

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

A Walk In The Park!! :)

I know everyone's just presumed that my leg is back to normal, after sustaining a horrible double fracture last year, sorry to go on about it all the time :)Chris Baddog Borham's photo. But I walked the furthest, I have since that day today. With Becky Virgo, and her children, and Holly dog. As well as doing my usual cycle in the meadow, and to the shops :) But I had an insy fall last week, that I aint mentioned? But I believe I cracked a rib? So I think I did well, steady on, don't all agree at once. With Well done Caroline!!!
Click for Options

Look at Holly dogs very grey face.

I read with interest that Sheffield Council, has got ££££s towards the integration of Health and Social Care???

I also hear from my good friend within Health Watch, that Basically folk with Brain Damage of varying causes, are invited to work with Paces in Sheffield, on a brighter future??? and the next Paragraph, was about Breast Cancer Champions??

I'm going to Sheffield Cycling 4 All tomorrow, with Rocky, and I will have to come back with Rocky, at 1.00 because Community Transport let me down AGAIN. I could hang on for a paid lift at 3.00 but, I don't think I've got enough stamina. But it means I will miss the big group, Friends Together, who are such happy guys. They make me smile.

See you tomorrow if you're going :)

Monday, 25 May 2015

:) Friendly Me

I forgot to mention, many things yesterday. One of the things, was to folk, who know me am I soooo transparent? I was just getting Ziggy out of her Cave, (purpose built bike shed, under my porch). I'd tied Holly dog up, because she's not good :( And this woman, walked past my drive, stopped , and started talking about Holly dog. Saying how beautiful she was???? errrrm, not really I thought! Bless her, she's got qualities, but beauty isn't one of them :) I told her how we were off for a cycle in the meadow, and smiled. To which she responded with, 'My names Zoe, and I've got Breast Cancer,' and heavily drawing on a freshly lit cigarette. Oh....ok, I replied and thought do I tell her, about me? Hey since when have I been able to hold back? But I waited a bit, bless her, she knew nobody in Sheffield. But after her diagnosis, she had thought it sensible to move from Wales to Totley Sheffield, where her Sister lived. Wow!! I'm very lucky to know so many folk, and be helped and supported.

I have taken the first steps, in the Saga (I hope not) of getting my Pedal Assist repaired. West Country Recumbent have been lovely and helpful. My plan is hopefully, to send my battery and charger, back to York. Fingers crossed they will be able to repair it. Return it, I'm hoping it's cheapish, I told them my circumstances, because it's really hard explaining why it's really, really important. Without giving a clear picture. And hopefully, they
will send it back repaired, so that Steve Marsden, can fix it back to the Boom, which is a different one, to the one that has my Slumph drive on. Hey do I sound impressive?? Nah, I thought not :) I can't fool many folk, into thinking, I know the mechanics of a greenspeed trike.

I also went to the Moorlands, via car, for tea yesterday with my good friend Kathryn. We don't half put the world to rights.

Oh yeah a big THANK YOU to Mcmillan Cancer, for their generous cheque, towards the additional costs, like a body pillow and a digital thermometer.  They look so comfortable the pillows, but how creepy is this!!! I'm not getting one of these sort.

Saturday, 23 May 2015

The Neccersaries and unneccersaries? :)

The post I have been waiting for arrived today, I was quite .....I am quite excited?? Nervous?? But the date arrived for the beginning of my Chemotherapy treatment. And I kind of think the sooner it starts, the sooner it's finished.

I have actually got The Magic Rounder -bout music going round in my head, as I rush from each activity, to new experience which undoubtedly will make me vomit :(

Just let me say this super quick, I think I'm off to London on the 8th, for an NCAG meet, and I think it's to identify folk who are interested in publicity, and networking. Just the sort of stuff I love, but I am not very technical so ?? And the best bit, is that my friend Kev Hickman, is going to meet me at St Pancras, for lunch??? No Pressure now Kev :) Oh and West Country Recunbent are absolute stars, I must get my battery for my Pedal Assist fixed, I have made the first teetering steps into doing just that. And I could so rant about s'thing the CTC have done, or not done!! But another time.

I've just reread that, and it's a bit like word association  :) But only I know the association!!!

But the thing I'm dreading more than the Chemo is happening on the 10th, it is my PICC line, which I know is better than the prospect of my veins collapsing all the time, and no it really does happen to me a lot honestly.. I'm not just being my usual over dramatic self.  Anyway, it looks terrifying on the Informative very scary leaflet that I have been sent. It does advise, that I bring someone who doesn't mind having their hand held, and crushed. Why can't I have sexy attractive strong veins, that would take on a bullet, not shy away from and collapse at a pin prick!!

I am assured I can cycle, skydive, trampoline and wear a tampon, whilst wearing a flowing white dress and a PICC line!!! So I intend to go to Sheffield Cycling 4 All, on Thursday the 9th.

I feel there ought to be a drum role, Friday the 10th I have my first Chemo session.

Lorraine bought me some Adult Zen colouring books, and some cool coloured pencils. And the amount of times I've had to stop my children aged 16 and 12 from stealing them is untrue!! So I'm really looking forward, to having a bash, at those.

Bye for Now......xx

Friday, 22 May 2015

Going, going, nearly gone!!!

Caroline Waugh and bird of paradise - which is which?

My smile probably doesn't fool anyone??? I am petrified, of the coming months. But not as frightened as I'd be if I wasn't suitable for Chemotherapy.
My morning began with a Cycle to the local Meadow, with Holly dog, poor thing she's not keen on Thursdays. Not that she's intelligent enough to know!! That she will be locked in her crate until lunchtime!! She just happily skips along, next to my trike. She's got used to it, but it's difficult for most dogs, because I don't actually go that fast, and whippets can't trot!!
Steve picked me up, with my trike ...Ziggy. in his van, and off we went to Cycling 4 Alls meeting. Where I am Joint Chair. I know we wouldn't have survived as a group, if it wasn't for everyone's continued work, we make a good committed team, who are so passionate about the adapted cycles. And what a difference they make, to peoples lives. Anyway, enough rambling I'm sure you've heard it all before, gi me my soap box!!!
It is extremely quiet at the moment, between 10 and 12, so any punters reading??? Please come then :) But come 1.30, all 16 cycles were in use, by a group of regular Punters from Friends Together, who are brilliant. They are so happy and enthusiastic, the staff share that enthusiasm. And it really shows :)
We also have the People who come, with their own Family and Carers like the Lovely Pat, who to be honest it's hard to tell, what she's thinking. Unless you know her well, and I am lucky enough to know have known her Carer since I was 18, and first worked at the main Psychiatric hospital, in Sheffield, which sadly?? has long gone and is now a new housing estate

I was delighted, to meet some new fascinating people yesterday, who came to look at Sheffield Cycling 4 All. One particular young lady, so reminded me of me!!! She had had, a Traumatic Brain Injury, and communicated only with a beautiful smile, and thumbs up and down for yes and no!! I told her, I was the same once! and I think she took some comfort out of this. Because Although, I will never get back to how I once was, when I was young, very fit, but actually smoked like a chimney!! I am happier, and more independent, since my brain injury, recent fractured limbs. and cancer, than I was before. Maybe it's because of my beautiful kids?? or being happy with my own company sometimes, and not constantly searching for a partner, I'm just enjoying my life how it is and I take on the challenges life throws in, but not to do battle with them. But to live with them, and embrace the changes and different experiences.

Wow, this is a deep and heavy one!!!

Sorry, if I missed out anything., or anyone :)

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

My Paps!!!!

As I sat there in the consultation, with my sister in law, Sue, and my Paps out it was decided that I have no infection. I also have no shame!!! with Nurses rushing around, bolting doors, and drawing screens more closed, just in case someone was to enter the room without knocking!! Heaven Forbid!!

Anyway because my wound infection, has cleared up beautifully, I think I deposited all the yukky smelly stuff at Steve Marsdens feet, last week!!It was decided that, I can start my Chemotherapy as soon as....and for those of you in the know?? about this type of thing. The anti cancer treatment isCyclophosphamicle andDocetckoi or 01????

My brother and Sue, whose been with me today :) Have spoilt me, they bought me a new hanging basket. A proper bathroom door, and are looking at some super cool bedroom curtains.

If anyone knows owt about the treatment I'm having??Will they tell me? I'm going to google it, it's probably a mistake, ignorance is bliss type of thing.

Monday, 18 May 2015

The Luxury of Counselling!!

I attended my first session of counselling today. The Counselling, that was supposed to help, with my broken Tibia and Fibula15months ago. And the fear, and hatred I have of Organisations, like Seva Care, who profit out of peoples misery. I am very relieved to learn, that Seva Care didn't get Sheffield Councils care contract. Perhaps they declared Bankruptcy? and emerged as another name??

Anyway my Counsellor was called Carol, she was nice, but to be fair she didn't say a lot. But I know that's a skill? That I don't possess many might say!!! She thought, I had a very positive attitude, which was the right way to deal with the difficulties, I was to face.

Anyway, I've got a hospital visit tomorrow at the Big C hosp!! to see the big C man!!!about my treatment programme, I'm hoping, he will suggest Chemo, because that improves my chances of survival. And I want to live.

Friday, 15 May 2015

I dribbled, and snotted everywhere and everytime!!!

I haven't been terribley pro active, this week, did you notice? But I did go to C4A on Thursday, well I kind of slimed my way there in Steve Ms van, with Ziggy in the back.  Had a quick Cycle round the Park a few times, with the lovely Marj and Barry. And sought solace in the kitchen area, with Lovely Dave and Rocky.

It was blinking cold though!!! Steve and James, took it in turns to come and get a warm. I think we were a bit down on Punters too. But hopefully we have been subsidising the open sessions with a couple of Closed Sessions, where groups either pay £75. for half a day or £150 for 6hrs. For that they get a trasined W4A instructer, an assistant, and 12 bikes!! Bargain.

Ahh bless, you know the 100 year old woman, who lived in a shoe? I don't actually think she lived in a shoe,  it just Rhymed!!! She received 4 million Birthday Cards!!!

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

I spy Little Hands

I'm so chilled, is it normal? Or is it called 'Bone Idle'? After waiting 1 hour, for a 2.00 Oclock appointment, I was ushered up the progression ladder, how exciting I could now sit on the corridor!!! Outside the nurse that I was waiting to see. Then I spotted, a trolley, followed by a pair of tiny hands, coming out the open door. It was my surgeon, he passed comment about me taking 4000mg of penicillin per day!!As he passed!! Yep....I wasn't likely to forget that. I finish tonight.

I think my AB have stopped my 'Summer Cold', becoming anything more sinister. But my nose is like a tap!!! I feel like an elderly woman, whose got a permanent drip on the end of her nose.

The lovely Anj, had taken me, after we'd enjoyed lunch in MP Millhouses Park. She offered to collect me, but I can't put anyone through the ordeal, of sitting in traffic. For me.

I am a bit knackered, so I will go to SC4A to wake myself up and feel alive again. Steve M is taking me, and trimming me bush after!!

Am I mother Theresa? I sent a birthday card to a lady today who is celebrating her 100 birthday, and she has no family, or friends :( Well incredibly! It was the care agency, who work with her that put out an appeal on FaceBook, and Radio Sheffield.

How lovely I'd love to see her face when she receives them all. :)

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Eeeeeek, The Dates!!!

I received my appointment, with Mr Winters? the Oncologist today, it is Tuesday the 19th. Apparently, it's a 'Getting to know you' type of session. I am grateful, for it being so quick. Sue my sister in laws, meeting me there. Which is good, because my memory fails me a lot :) I was given the option, of having it taped. Do they actually mean taped?? I don't know anyone who owns a tape recorder???

I need to price up my cancer shopping list!!!! and see what I might be able to claim for.

I'm using my spare dressing in the morning, to get squeaky clean, so I can thrust my nubile Tits in my Drs little hands!!And Thank you Brigitte, for the observation, about size been relative!! x

Saturday, 9 May 2015

''Just suck my Tit'' - or not, as is the case!!

My dressing of course!!!

Negative Pressure Wound Therapy System

Now more than ever, there is a drive to treat patients away from resource-intensive hospitals, to treatment in the community

Above is the thing that's worked perfectly until this morning. I think, to be honest I am a bit allergic to the dressings again. Because during the night I had rubbed the dressings off my skin, there fore breaking the seal. That makes it work. So I awoke to the buzzer sounding in my ear. I phoned Ward F2 at the Hospital, I think the nurse that answered was the one who nearly carried out CPR on me, when I was admitted to the ward 3 weeks ago. She passed me on to the ward sister. And it is so bad that not more is done for single people, who don't have a car and driver at their disposal. I promised that I would get it checked out on Monday by my GP or a district nurse, and she was happy. So I am happy.

CPISRA World Games

Apart from, the fact that I missed my 'Games Starter' Induction, in Nottingham for the Cerebral Palsy World Games:( Which would have been so fabulous, because I couldn't believe my luck, there was a train to Nottingham,  leaving from Dore at 8.30am. Arriving at 9.30, just a short ride on the tram. And I was there at Nottingham Trent University, where all the Game Starters, were to meet with Team GB, and hear what would be expected.

I know I couldn't have done it today:( So I'm glad I didn't push myself. I did however go for an insy ride with Holly dog, to the meadow for a poo. Her you must understand!!! It was so blustery, I love cycling in that type of weather my trike, is made for it.

Friday, 8 May 2015

Bring It On!!!

It's me, showing off my best attributes!!! I'll let you decide!!! (the tops of my shoes were polished) and I feel good, about the oncoming Chemo?

Gill Price's photo.Photo by Gill Price :)

I am eternally grateful, to my breast man with the little hands, and Kath my Cancer Nurse. And I know they're not directly involved with cutting services, and where money goes.  But I had to let it be known, that I was in a terrible state, which could have been so easily prevented. Instead yesterday, they were talking of admitting me to hospital, there an then. Wiring me up to a drip of  Anti Biotics over the weekend, costing the NHS £1000s, in extra care!!. So anyway after I'd 'Vented my spleen' (in my dreams, that was removed in my original medical calamity!!) He continued to try and squeeze my 'Right Tit' that isn't very right!!! I calmly said ' Oooh You'll not get very much out, I've milked that udder this morning!!!':D I was ignored!! :D But he did comment on how clean and cared for it was, considering I had gone in there with a Sanitary Towel strapped to it, with Micropore, I took this as a compliment. Whatever anyway, it probably saved me from spending time in hospital.

The Very good news is, that my Cancer hasn't spread. He removed it all :)...leaving only a 5% chance of it ever coming back. But if (yes please) I am suitable for Chemotherapy, 5% goes down to 0% chance of it's return.

I'm taking 4000!!!!! mg of Flufloxacillin per day by tablet.

And If you see me smiling it's because I've got a Pad cupping my Right Tit, with tube that connects to a battery in my pocket, that intermittently gives it a squeeze!!!

Thanks to so many folk for yesterday, Sue for coming with me, laundering my Sodden, smelly sweat shirt,  bringing me back down, to earth with questions like, should Caroline be Cycling?? :) ...drinking? Which I haven't done since surgery incidentally, drinking that is. And beautifully delivering me to SC4A, after my appointment. And Gill for 'Get this, it's amazing!!! ' Cutting her hair, in preparation, for the shave off!! Marjorie and Barry, for bringing my favourite Yougart Raisins :) Dave, for being Dave and getting my lunch again. Steve, James, Sue, Simone, My friends from Friends Together, Charlotte Jim and Pat, Oh and Ian and Dan. And anyone else who shared my experience yesterday.  I do love you all, you keep me alive!!!

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

'Titless Wonder' becomes 44 G overnight!!!

I actually had not a bed nights sleep, all things considered. But when I awoke, My Right tit, was bursting, and hard and painful, and I was still frozen so I rang the breast clinic, and my gps for some antibiotics. (how many buttons must you press to speak to a real live person!!The bouncer woman receptionist, said 'Oh No love, What's a lumpectomy?'

 Urrrgh. Kath my Cancer Nurse called. And suggested I call (another phone call) the district nurses, to come out and visit.

Meanwhile Steve Marsden was cutting grass, fixing doors, and putting the shower curtain up. I love wasting his time :) and was enjoying Morning Tea, with him.

Foul smells kept drifting, and I naturally blamed the dog. And we laughed at how much dogs trumps smell!!! Then to my absolute horror, I looked down, and it was as if one side of me was entering a 'Wet T Shirt competition!! Steve bless him, had to confirm that, yes indeed, it was my right breast!! The wound had split open, due to the swelling. (He will be having nightmares forever) He waited till the district nurses were on their way, and excused hiself (was probably chucking his guts up) Nurse came and Milked my udder, except it certainly wasn't white and milky, More yellow, and very stinky and ran like a torrent out of the side of my booby.

I really have no shame :)

Despite this I needed some shopping and a shot of my medicine that never fails. Cycling :) So I cycled with Holly dog, to the local Tesco, and Steve collected me, shopping, and trike.

I am going to SC4A tomorrow, after I've been to the hospital, I'm using hospital transport, Sue my sister in Law is coming too. And Community transport, from Hospital to Hillsborough and home. I will find out if (probably), my Chemo starts and if it's spread to my Lymph Nodes, and I need another operation. Talking of which, I can usually pull my heavy self, into Steve's car... and I couldn't today. :(

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Sorry about that folks!! i am back

Technology used to really bother me, and the fact that i am easily confused :) But hey it gets done eventually. When lovely Jon Frost, and his wee irish elf :) I say elf, in  the fondest of ways, he's like the courier, for broken computers. And delivers them back at the end of the day, all fixed  and fabulous, like magic. I always have a wee chat with him, and of course he asked, how I was :(and I started to cry :(, I've hardily slept all night, I nearly fell downstairs at 3, because in my haste to have an argument with  the bathroom door, I lurched for the hand rail, missing it!! So I should have fallen downstairs??? But my bonkers brain, saw pictures of blue flashing lights all inside my skull of course. And I thru my body into the bathroom, saving myself from DEATH!! Ok, Ok, maybe not.

I haven't cycled for 2 days!!! It's not heard of !!

And possibly why I am tearful, easily remedied? Not when 'your in the Zone'

I feel like, I've got a temperature, and I'm freezing my Paps off!!! literally drinking every water based drink in the house (which makes me wee all night) My beautiful nipples :) sorry to give you this image. Are hurting because my nips are going erect because of the cold. Which is excruciating!!! and the reason why I don't want to go outside.

Did you see my Heroin? last night in the C word?? Lisa Lynch, I started following her blog, about 5 years ago. I cant recall the name of the actress, who played Lisa? She did a fab performance though. I want to keep being me, all the way through my treatment. :) I want to Live with Cancer, not thinking that I'm raging some war, all the time. I'n not a nasty person, I don't do 'Battling'

Friday, 1 May 2015

I missed yesterday :( At Sheffield Cycling 4 All

And I didn't feel any better, for taking it easy. So I went for a gentle cycle this morning....steady...on, it was only about half a mile!! That's about as  far as I can get before I have to put in any effort, with a hill.

On closer inspection, (I have difficulty because I can't look down) I have so many attractive features!!!!My bicep is ok, the nearer the elbow you get.  But my shoulder is mushy to touch :( It could vaguely get away with been normal. But I know it's not normal for me!! I am usually very muscly, because my right side is my NORMAL!! side. (No part of me is normal, never has been and certainly never will be) But I have 4 wounds where my Lymph nodes were removed, and I removed the dressings as instructed, by the hospital, and it was so very painful, closer inspection today confirmed that I had an allergic reaction, to the surgical tape (nice :)) And when I pulled the tape off, I pulled the skin off the blisters!!! It's been left to scab and f#**** itch!!10pc 1.25cm*5m pe steel tape surgical pe adhesive tape PE protective film tape medical perforated breathable medical pe tape

I wish it was easier for me to cycle :(

I have booked  Community Transport, to pick me up at the Hospital, after My Appointment, when I get my Cancer Results on the 7th. I have missed people from Hillsborough too much, to miss it again.

Ahhh Marjorie called today, bless her to say that she had missed me, and to see hw I was.