tired and down :(

I know there's lots of strange things happening, wi the displacement of bodily fluid as it shifts from my ankles to my kidneys and then pssssssss' but I'm hot, and I definately don't mean sexy. Wi my Nora Batty bandages round my ankles. I did try cycling for the first time in my swadling bandages, and went to the school gates. Maybe I'm just greedy, once it was my dream to be able to cycle to school, and that was all. So why I beat myself up, because I can't cycle everywhere, I don't know.

'Tin Man'

I feel like the 'Tin Man' with my feet at a permanent 45 degrees, to my body. My bandages are thicker than any pot construction that I could have :D I haven't found a pair of trousers, flared enough to fit yet so I aint dared venture out yet. If I didn't look so funny, I might cry, but nah, It's too much of a novelty, at the moment. And Kim did think it would be sorted in 2 weeks. And bugger, the one pair of trousers, I thought may be ok? Don't fit me anymore, eeek. Oh well atleast I provided much amusement to my children and friends, and I made Julie Andrews cheer up a bit.

Awwww, I'm not working tomorrow :( my days there are numbered so to speak. Especially with new funding as it is.

Poor Pat struggled to lift my bags off the tesco bus today, so thanks for that darling.

And Dave and Rob, no wonder my ears were burning :)

Busy...hot..

The day of tumbleweed, blowing eerily on a main road into Sheffield town centre, is passed. And cyclists have to compete, for road space again. Well actually I wouldn't know about the cycling because, remember my ICDH course ? I had to hand my folder in, officially today. So we all met at the Museum, I took my children, because they'd got a teacher training day.

Ooooooh I'm exploring the possibility of going to Norwich in September, without my kids though this time. With the Inclusive Cycling Forum.

Blooody hell!! it's a bit scarey, tomorrow Kim the nurse is coming to see me, she predicts it will take an hour and a half to bandage my legs oh so tightly!! Eeeeeek!!!!!

Hey Dave who was the cyclist woman, who tangled her scarf in her bicycle? .....Thats me that, I do like scarves :)

No Drama

If I'm honest, all the arrangements to watch the football, just didn't grab me. The idea of sitting in the scorching hot beer garden, getting very drunk and dehydrating like parchment paper. (Well, with a bit more substance!!!) I'm far too sensible for that, it's scary, plus I'm on a promise ;) (my mums nurse/friend) all the offers today, just had been too vague.

Scorching hot though it was, and shall I confess this frightening image I have? It's me in a white vest scraping my skin on the road, as I get hit with a car!!!! I know it's irrational!!! And today, I wore a white vest typy top. I resisted the temptation to get changed. And rode Ziggy to where, I knew for definate my company would be well apprechiated, I went about 3miles to see my Mum, on an odinarily busy Rd. Once thereI removed my helmet, my hair absolutely plastered to my skull!! My Mum said 'Ooooh Caroline, you do look a mess!!!' ' :D bless her.

I gave another one of Mums male nurses, the keys to unlock Ziggy. And take her for a spin, I love it when people like her!! and I've said before I treat her as a living creature. As I said goodbye to Mum, Ziggy got 3 more admirers, and consequently they all had a play, on Ziggy I may add!!

Hi Dave, good to know you are ok, I do worry unneccersarily at times :)

Julie Andrews phoned to see if I was gonna join her in the pub, but I was just bedragled by the time I got there. And do you know? I never stopped once, I just plodded, very slowly and steadily, until I reached home. No drama!! No blood stained white vest even!!

Happy Manbird.

This morning, I took my 'lil' girl to the Orthodontist otherwise known as the Dentist. So she had to miss the mornings lessons. We called in 'Nonnas' for a coffee after, whilst we waited for our taxi. And I felt distinctly uncomfortable, with all the 'Yummy Mummy's' , thing is my daughter aspires to be like that (yuk) Oh well, I suppose I did once. As I sit here drinking lager from a can, which I clutch with my bike oily fingers. I am so much happier than I was when I was trying every diet under the sun, suffering 'fits' possibly because of this.

I had an appointment this afternoon, with the nurses. So I nipped to the shops and bought them a box of chocolates. Kim the Lymphodema nurse whose visiting me on Tuesday, has taken over now, but I thought I'd have a clean dressing on first, and have a 'deckers' at what stage it was at. And to be honest, it looked great. I then cycled nearly to school, but it was just so hot!! I couldn't bare the thought of waiting, at the bottom of the drive in the scorching sun. So I went home, and phoned for them to make their own way, because they had their bikes.

;) My Mums nurse, has just paid me a visit.

Hey I've just tried to solicit myself to a small independent film maker. who do 5 minute stories, I thought how I could make so many organisations shine, through my story. But they said they'd look into it........yeah :D

Perfect day....(Lou Reed and Me)

I know I grumble, but I really musn't. Today was so good, and it had begun with me being weary and not really fit for owt. My taxi took Ziggy and I to Hillsborough, for the Inclusive Cycling, where I was really happy to see Fred, and Nick. I cycled to the bike shed, where I discovered we hadn't enough helmets for the young folk, I offered mine, and cycled back to the 'lodge' and found another 2. So we were sorted :)

For the next 4hours, I cycled round the park or 'games court' on an assortment of bikes. Groups were booked in, in half hour sessions and had varying disabilities. I got a massive buzz from being the back end of the tandam trike, because I actually knew the other person was pedalling, and it felt good :)

I asked this very helpful guy to nip to Lilys sandwich shop for a really unhealthy fried egg and mushroom butty. It was so yummy mmmmm.

Ooooh tomorrow, I'm gonna take some biscuits to the nurses, because next week Kim, a Lymphodema nurse, spotted my attractive ankles while I was in York. And said, 'Let me cure your legs, any friend of Steve's is a friend of mine'. So I'm seeing her next week, and I know I will hate the treatment, but she promises it's short lived. But I feel I have to thank the nurses at the Drs.

Sorry to be dull:) well I think it's interesting :D Just cos it aint rude!!!

Ahhh Wednesdays :)

Hi if I met you today. For the first time in 6 months, I'm actually feeling fab after a days work, usually I have to crawl to bed!!

Thanks SCC, for your comments last nite, I liked it that you didn't think me mad!! You spoke with understanding.

And Dave as always, you are there for me. I phoned you earlier from my land line and got transferred?

Steve (CTC) read my blog, from last night and told me his own availability, so that he personally could come and do some road work with me. I don't cry every time the going gets tough, but I cycled the furthest I have ever cycled at the weekend. That in addition, to not knowing exactly what my children were doing, plus not having my flag, wanting a waz, and a drink. Just meant I needed help. And I felt feeble having to ask for it.....again.

I switched on my pc, this morning and I was really comforted by everyones response to my doulbts. Plus I had an email from another asking me if I'd be prepared to meet some great Guru, within the Adult Services Dept, of social services. Ur now let me think, about it. What do you think I said :D(I'm such an exhibitionist!!)

Do I always feel sorry for myself?

Well I know I don't, but do I sound like I do? Am I a rite self pitying git!!

I know in theory the more I cycle on busy roads the more I relax, and it becomes 'natural', but in practice I just aint there yet :( And it doesn't stop the fact that the more time on busy roads I spend the more likely I am, to have an accident. (if you follow?) Its like I could spend all day learning to cross a road, and become the best ever road crosser. Or I could wrap myself up in a cotton wool ball, and stay home and be safer still.

I just don't know anymore?? I mean life has been good to me both before and after my disabling car crash, 22years ago. Every part of my life has been a bit of a challenge, but I love that bit. If cycling had been easy, I wouldn't have had to attend CFH, on a weekly basis, becomming a Health Champ, getting my ICDH. And through cycling I've met some of the best folk I've ever met. and I'd just not have appreciated what I was actually doing. I just think sometimes I've had one near death experience, and I do infact love my life (even though I sound like a miserable b* s'times) maybe I should value it more, and not take any chances.

Negative thoughts, made me take a cab to see my Mum today, but I did cycle to the chemist and School, without drama.

Reflection on the Weekend

My children were unbelievably excited, but how they like to 'look after' Mum. Mum, have you got.....???etc. Bless em, they make me very proud, they were the reason I started cycling, so I do in fact owe them a lot. So a weekend in York, with accommodation paid for by The Health Champs, seemed like a good deal. And I kinda like to show folk, that even a single Mum with a disability can do active things with her children. As we left the train I shouted to my son, 'Have we left anything?? To which he replied 'Mum, I leave only my dignity' He does make me laugh!! For a 7 year old, he has a top sense of humor.

Fortunately Steve Marsden (CTC), had taken our cycles up on the Thursday, when he'd gone. So when we arrived, we simply had to find our way to the Holiday Inn. We arrived and there was no obvious cycle shelter or anything, I wondered how I was going to approach the subject of wanting to take my trike somewhere safe. When Dave arrived on Ziggy my trike. Ahh, I hadn't seen her for four days it was great!! I sat on her and went to reception, and I was prepared for an argument, as I explained I couldn't leave her outside, to a young but officious looking 'Kelly'.
Between us we decided on the conference room. But first I had to cycle to the race course, and how easy it was!!! There was a path about a mile long leading to the campsite, from the Holiday Inn, it was great, it crossed no roads, and seldom had cars use it :) I couldn't relax though, I'm so anal at times :D I didn't want to disappoint, Daisy, Finn, Health Champs, Steve (CTC), Dave, so for that reason, I don't think I really relaxed. Anyway, I found Steve, who was obviously setting off on a bike ride, with some young folk who'd been doing their 'Duke of Edinborough Award'. He'd obviously got his hands full, and just a little anxious :D He gave D and F their bikes, and told them where they could go . (not in that way!!!)

I can't really tell you who I saw and spoke to, I just seemed to drift and smile at people :D. Heaven knows the impression, I must have given out.

What a fantastic position, our hotel was in, the children could nip back and fetch things, without me. I really couldn't grumble, I had 20 pairs of eyes looking out for them, everyone seemed to know whose children they were. And I hope folk don't feel sorry for me or think I'm not capable? Because I'm happy and really proud of my kids. Although they did take some getting to bed that night, which was the longest day of the year.

6.50 am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we had to meet Steve at 7.30am, we had to pack our bags, have breakfast, have a coffee (priority) I don't know how but we managed!!!

I met some lovely folk on the ride, as we went the scenic route my children cycled with Steve. Whilst I struggled to keep up to be honest, and hung somewhere at the back.

I wasn't impressed with the service at York Minster, what dier hymns!! Whats wrong with 'All things bright and beautiful?

After the service, I've got to admit, I really struggled on the mass cycle ride back to the race course. At first it felt so good, and I was extremely proud to be part of it, but I had forgotten to get my flag off Steve, which sticks up about 8ft, at the back of Ziggy. So when I became seperated from the mass, I felt very vulnerable, I mounted the pavement purposely whilst I decided what to do, who did I think I was? It was obviously too much for me, I wanted to cry :( Dave Holaday phoned!! what a star!!!! And sure enough to the rescue he came :)

I've been so sick today, and so has my daughter, with sun stroke.

So will I do it again??? My children will kill me if I don't!!

Big Thank you to Steve, Dave and the rest of the CTC.

Ouch as I sit here, so burnt and with a stinking headache that only comes from dehydration, I reflect on what good friends I have. Yeah, I know they will get paid for their time. But no amount of money could have paid for their kindness.

I'll have to come back to this tomorrow.

I'm sleeping

In My Dreams....

I dream of Ziggy, my recumbent trike.

I'm missing my baby

I mean Ziggy of course, I text Steve earlier to remind him to kiss her goodnight and cover her with a blanket :D Surprise, surprise he didn't respond.

I seem to have gone really flat, I think it's possibly because my life has gone quiet. Or maybe that my working life revolves around my trike. And without her, my life seems to lack umph!!

I actually had 100 flyer's printed advertising Hillsbro inclusive cycling. To put in the main aid and adaptations shop in Sheffield. And I distributed them amongst the SW team, I met today. I did struggle today to be my usual highly motivated enthusiastic soul.

I'm meeting my mate Karen for a coffee tomorrow, which will be nice, (the psychiatric nurse I used to work with.....as a colleague!!!)

Sorry It's late folks :)

Was it only this morning, I succumbed to my oldest childs whims and claims of a very poorly head. It sounded exactly like, the type of headache I'd get through dehydration, so I insisted on her drinking near enough a pint of water. Ands then I let her go back to bed. I'm such a push over aren't I? But it cured her :)

At 945, there was a big exodus, on my road, as everyone went fore the Tesco bus!!

Ooooh now Micky phoned, I'm right glad he's my buddy, nah not one of them buddies. He's like the God father, he knows all the bad men in Sheffield. Now his son is autistic, and can't cycle, but Micky would love for him to be able too. So I showed him my Greenspeed, which he thought may be just the ticket, sooooo? Anyway, I didn't feel upto cycling to see Mum, so Micky dropped me off, ahhh :)

Back home with my kids, they went to crown green bowls, what does that sound like? :D My youngest loves it, and takes it very seriously. This is the same boy with his Bmx, and Skate boards? I used 'The Space' to go for a last ride on Ziggy, wow it was gonna be 4 days until I saw her again, if Steve Marsden, came as planned for the cycles tonight? And sure enough I was just locking the shed up. and Steves van pulled up.

I am such a wuss you know? Even though I once took my children in a taxi (which I had to keep stopping) to Leeds, with the hangover from hell, went through 2 international airports, boarded 2 planes. We lived.....just.

F* up, big time

just go to my new blog I created for todays Fat Lass entry, called 'Cycling with Caroline' bollocks, I was supposed to be starting a more mature factual one about my Thursdays. And instead I tell the world about my periods :D But anyway you get the picture.

Luv ya all, I'm actually very amused. :Dx

I feel a bit down :(

But Robs last message cheered me up a bit. I didn't get invited anywhere today, as I had hoped. So I cycled to get the bus to Decathlon, in town.

I needed a water proof....drastically, bike locks for my kids, and some new trainers ...before mine walked off on their own. But I don't know about you? But I can never find a pair as good as the last :) So I settled on some very unsatistfactory walking shoes. Hey they were cheap!! even though they were lace up, and they will f* me right off!!

If you saw me you'd possibly laugh at the idea, of me being all fit and ;go for it girl'. But it's strange within a year, I have become all geeky, and could happily spend hours, wandering round the shop. I left disappointed though :( I didnt find any new trainers (spd???) I picked up a tyre for £6 with tread, because I bet it's gonna be muddy in York, at the rally.But durrrrr, I got a 20' and Ziggy is only 18' ooooer!! So if anyone reading this, is going to York, and you just happen to have an 18' tyre with tread :) I'd be ever so grateful, if I could buy one off ya. I know Rob, you're wondering why I didn't ask you? Well I only just thought of it, and Ziggys been taken on Tuesday :(

Also having ne' been to a CTC rally, I thought just maybe it might be a late finish? So I got lights for the kids bikes, and my ex (cough cough) kindly fixed them on his childrens bikes :)

I miss Mr P...

Stay home

I've had a really naff, stay at home day, but I siezed upon a possible area, where inclusive cycling could be introduced. I'll tell you more if they take me up on the idea, if not I will crawl away and hopefully everyone will 4get my blitherings. You see even when I've got a child off school, and I am forced to stay home, the cogs in my little brain just ne'stop thinking about the possibilities. It was no good, although I should (i know, I'm a hypocrit)stand by my principles, and No school, means no playtime. Except when I want some cycling me time :) I let my big girl take my ill (but not any more) boy to bowls.

Awwww, I've just realised, if Steve takes Ziggy to York, with my kids bikes? I won't have her for the Inclusive Cycling. :(

Hillsbro', Steve and Fred

Ahhh my 2 fave men were there, at the inclusive cycling today :) But the weather was grim, cold and distinctly damp.

And wow, the brain injury survivor had joined the Cycle For Health programme, the same as I had done a year ago. And going by the look on his face, he will stick at it too.

It was really nice overhearing a conversation, between 2 of the cycle trainers, recognising that most individual bookings had occured through my publicity drive. Speaking of which down on the courts, I met a brilliant couple who had read my blog. And come to the park out of curiousity, and need. The Lady had never been able to cycle, before her illness and tragically she had been struck with a debilitating illness, but needed to increase mobility. So..........in comes the Fat Lass Who Doesn't Sweat Much :) I asked Fred, if I could take her for a ride round the park. To say she had never cycled before, and had her fair share of reasons not to, she was fantastic. That's why I get out of bed on a Thursday....as well as to get the children ready and off to school.

Steve shouted me over, I like to think I'm his prodogy :D I think it's fair to say, we are both proud of knowing the other. Introducing me to Nicola from the RSPB, and explaining, how Nicola and Fred were hoping to start some Health rides, looking at the wildlife, and getting closer to nature. This was just the sort of cycling I had started to enjoy with Mr P. And did quite miss:( Now I never know, if Steve wants me to dive in and offer help? But I always do and I did!! So Nicola, gi me a shout when you need me cardouglas10@hotmail.com

My lil boys school phoned, he wasn't well And could I fetch him??? So back to reality, but I had derived the same feel good factor, I believe some folk get from seeing me cycle.

SDS

I do enjoy my work, thing is I'm so ego-centric, I just like the attention, I think.

With talk of folk, 'clipping my bush', and showing me their 'big chopper' It's more like an audience wi Frankie Howard at times.

I must ask for a reveiw, of my allowance today after 6 Social Workers assesed my needs, I actually came out with £16,950 per annum. A bit less than the usual £17500, don't ask me why? They were all shocked when I told them the actual amount I receive is £4,560!

I'm knackered, but looking forward to tomorrow and thje Inclusive Cycling, because I've missed my trike today.

My Cycling Story

I aim to please, the key players who have played such a massive part in my success story. Depending on the readership I can usually make a story 'fit the need', and still be truthful at all times. I just don't know anymore though? Sorry.

Today I got the kids off to school..late !! And cycled in the rain, to see my Mum. Which is two and a half miles away, on a very busy road. Ahhhh bless her, she was looking well, I wanted to cry because she has always been the most unselfish woman I've ever met. And she insisted that I take my children to York CTC Rally. As apposed to stay for her b'day.

I then cycled home, calling off at the new Bike Tree, it was closed!!! I had been all excited at getting my 6mm Allen Key!! (how sad am I?)

For some reason, although it's uphill on the way back, I find the ride much easier, than the downhill on my way to visit. Maybe it's because I'm a bit wussy, still and I tend to pick up speed, very easily. One thing I did notice today was how courteous, big burly HGV drivers are, unlike the bus drivers, my beloved Pat being the exception.

Once home, it was a quick turn around and off to Tesco, Pat's back on Monday hopefully. I must text my very helpful friend :) I raced rouind just grabbing a few things. Got wet on top of wet, again. My clothes were beginning to itch they were so wet. I had just enough time to speak with a couple of folk, all of which were a bit negative. Dashed out, to get my children, and now ....bliss, I can be self indulgent, selfish and egotistical, and write my blog.

I got a bit of a tickin off for neglecting my leg, nursey phoned my moby, whilst I was in Tescos, booking me in at 830 tomorrow before I go to work.

Oooooooooh The Cabinet!!!

I know, the wee story that was handed to The Ministers, doesn't mention the CTC, and it deliberately gives me a false age. (They think I'm becoming too well known,)But I think it does promote cycling as a healthy activity, thats practical, healthy and cheap for folk with disabilities. :) So I'm happy that I 'pimp' myself about a bit. I've also been invited to a healthy food thing on Friday, I asked if I could take Ziggy? and Yes, I can :) And give a Q and A 5mins.

Personal Story A paper that the SDS team were asked to produce, (You know the ones that I work with on a Wednesday?)

Caroline a lady in her late 30’s with a physical disability who lives in Sheffield was also one of the first people to receive a personal budget from the Local Authority. Before receiving her budget she would say life was very difficult. Trying to manage being a mum and adjusting to changing life circumstances. Since receiving her small personal budget she has transformed her life. She used her budget to help her think about how she could become more physically active. She then learnt to cycle again, having mastered this and becoming very positive and enthusiastic about cycling she has become a Health Champion and tours Sheffield's parks with her trike helping people to also learn to cycle. She is now applying to do her City and Guilds course to become a Community Tutor. In addition she is a co-facilitator on the training currently being provided to assessment and care management staff.

I wish I was a better cyclist though sometimes, I mean I do get a lot of attention, for doing very little. Hey I had a race, back up the road wi my wee boy on his BMX today. And yes he beat me, but only just.

I am very happy despite my personal life being a bit lacking at times. Normally, I'd make a witty joke about looking after myself ;) but I'm far too bashful to say that at the mo. xxx

Old Friends

I wrote a 2nd version of an article, for the CTC. My first version was a little startched, and serious I am happy now :) Whilst my children played Crown Green Bowls all morning. My friend, ex fb actually. Was coming to see us all, at the indian resturant near where I live. So my son and I cycled, and wow, how impressed with Mr Ps bike chain was my little boy, as he struggled to lift it out the panniers, partly because of it's weight, and partly because it was 7 foot long.

We ate a nice meal, and headed home, bumping into my dear friend Pete who's 'the life and soul' of any party. He too has had a brain injury when he was 23, and so it's as though his brain stopped developing, at that age. And then there's me with a 21 year old brain in a 43 year old body. :Dx One of the reasons, I don't drink in public any more, is because I can't say no....to another drink, of course. I took Pete home at about 9!! :D

Hey remember my poorly leg? Tut tut, well I haven't been to see the nurse for 3 weeks, I know it's shocking? But I'd got a couple of spare dressings, and I've done it myself. I willl need to go and get more, but the wound has significantly shrunk in size. I most certainly not taking the credit, btw. It's the type of dressings work I think.

I was told today that I have become too safe in my blog, ahhhh It's true, but I don't like to take the piss out of folk, so yep I am sorry it's true. I've become far too sensible :)

Perfect day

I love helping out at The Inclusive Cycling, I find it really moving, knowing that I help enable folk to get the buzz, that I do, because to know I've enabled someone to feel as happy as I do, well it's just immense. It was the hottest day of the year today, and I met loads of folk, some were some very familiar ones like Steve, who'd just delivered some brand new KMX bikes, to Hills', for SNIPS (I can't tell you what it stands for, but it's a holiday play scheme run in the school holidays. For children with disabilities.) And they had such fun on them, it was great. Quite a few non disabled children, kept asking for a go, we did let them occasionally if none of the young disabled were using at the time, because we like folk to enjoy 3 wheels!!! :). Another familiar face was Dave Santa, and my lovely Fred of course. We stayed on the games court for lunch, and Laura and Mark fetched butties and replenishing drinks.

Andrew arrived, he's the survivor of brain injury who was influenced by Steve and I's visit back in April. And wow!! he cycled into the court on a bicycle. It was getting quite busy in the court, so Fred suggested that Andrew and I cycle around the park. I let him decide, which route we took, and what speed (although he did have to slow down for me on those Hills) After 4 laps of the park, I was actually quite relieved at seeing my taxi arrive, I was suffering with the heat.

Once home, Mr Potts arrived with my massively heavy chain in an inner tube. So I could lock up my trike securely at shops/pubs/train stations. I treated him to his tea, at the Spit, and I collapsed into bed at 1am. (on my own, btw....what were you thinking?)

I have booked a night in York, at Holiday Inn, with my children on the 19th of June. Steve's bringing my trike, and kiddies bikes, and us back to Sheffield. I just need to get there, on 1st approach customer services of Northern rail, refused to let me take my trike on the train. I will need to try again.

Thank you Dave (a different 1) and thanks Pete

Roll on the end of the school hols, I feel such a meanie, for saying it. Because I do love my children but I think now I have a little bit of an interest, besides them. That's it, they'll be damned rather than let Mum have peace, or speak to someone about anything other them, Rant, over.

Today I cycled to the bus stop, and locked my trike up, using My wee boys bike lock, because I'd only got one key for my more secure one, and I am so likely to loose the one, that I took the only one with 2 keys.

Called in M&S to spend my £20 voucher that the Centre of Independent Living, gave me ages ago. I bought a gorgeous silk scarf, (how extravagant of me? It cast £20!!!!!) Anyway I had worn a strappy top, the first one of the year, and I was feeling ok. Until F* said ' Hey Mum, can you see where we used permanent marker, on your back? everyone else can!!!

I wanted to go home.

We got off the bus to get Ziggy, and I don't know how it happened but, the flimsy key had become all twisted. I knew there was no point in trying, to turn it because it would simply snap. No worries, I've got a spare???? And I have ne' seen my son run as fast, he saw the chance to save the situation and ran home. Bless him, he returned and couldn't gulp in the air quick enough for his wee lungs. Bad news, I couldn't find a key!!!

Remember Pete? my neighbour, the one that has lived 3 doors away, for 20 years. But we never spoke until we bumped into one another on a dating site :D We have been fab friends since, he's one of my best friends. Well I phoned him first, he didn't answer, urrrgh. I left a voice mail, but I didn't even know if he'd pick up. So I phoned Dave, remember the Star, that rescued me when Ziggy folded??? Who was there within a minute, just as Pete arrived. I'm so lucky to have such fantastic friends, I'm not worthy sometimes :)

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow, and some adult company. But I didn't want to go to Hillsborough, if Fred didn't want me. It's his baby at the mo, and I don't want anyone to think that I'm an extra responsibility, or owt. So I phoned him and I'm really pleased to say, he said how helpful I was last week and yeah he'd like it.

After that I'm buying Mr Potts tea at the Spit, because he's making me a super dooper bike lock, with 3 spare keys!!!

I'm calm now, it's only taken me 3hrs!!!

50%

I reckon 50% of my readers (i can't say followers) It makes me blush, speaking like that. May sympathise with my pot bellied feeling and looks, at the mo. Can I say I am sweating a lot from merely walking into the kitchen. It's not a very attractive picture is it? It is times like this, I envy couples so much. How I'd love to be let off food preperation, and laundry duties :( I was glad Julie Andrews had agreed to temporarily stand in for Richard my cleaner, whose off sunning himself.

Steve(CTC) thought I'd be bored:) ??? I was actually a tad that way. So he asked me to write a bit for the CTC Aug/Sept magazine :)

Hey and did you know? It was exactly a year ago today, that he phoned and said, 'hey I wanna come and check you out in 30 mins' What a journey it has been, in the past year. Who would have thought, 'lil old me' could make such a huge impression?