Tuesday, 24 April 2012
I have cried a bit today :(
I have felt crap, and helpless today! But I've felt like this before, and get over it. The day began gloomily and it was very dark outside on the park. I think it just made me feel gloomy. I was just too busy, to set off for Endcliffe by Cycle at 9,(thats my excuse anyway.
I just HATE not being as good at Cycling as NORMAL non disabled folk. I'm using bad words deliberately, because that's how FREAKY I felt today. And everyone was being lovely about me holding the ride up, but it's just a reminder, that although Cycling does break down some differences for me, not all I'm afraid.
I came home, and rang Steve M, to say I'd got some stuff he'd sent. We spoke about my presentation, and the coming Weekend, and Holly and how much we missed Dave Santa, (he's txt me today from Morroco!) Then I cried.....I know, it's because I can't do things on my own, like the Power Point, like ordering the right train tickets even!, (i mean, I've done it b4r!!!) I know, I'm happy ion my comfort zone. I think it's because I'm daring to go beyond. I will be fine and if I'm not, I can stop going to Endcliffe, and just do Hillsborough????
I'm going to Millhouses Park tomorrow, to meet Miriam, which usually cheers me up :)n
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