Manbird

I feel like I'm back to being me, purely and simply because when I woke this morning I knew I wanted to visit my Mum, at Henliegh Hall. I was very nervous about cycling today, but the weather was perfect for it. So as I often do, I text ed a few folk to tell them my intention, because then I knew, that they would ask me tomorrow, if I'd been, and I'd be ashamed of myself if I hadn't gone. (It always works)I couldn't believe the state of the roads!! there is a huge Creator, that I keep going down on my way to the pub, that I fell down again today (that sounded dramatic, its about 4 inches deep) so not quite fell down.

I was fine as I gathered speed on the dual carriageway, which narrows into just a normal busy rd. But I found I simply couldn't be bullied into the gutters, because they were full of 'crap'. So I needed to travel a bit more central, than I'm comfy with (I only get uncomfortable because of the increasing queue of traffic I hold up!!)Mum was beautiful as ever, and whilst there the new Activity Worker came up and introduced herself. I told her about the cycles at Hillsborough, and my idea for cycling in the Park. She was as keen as my mate Karen, had been to introduce cycling to the residents. I told her that just today, a young male resident with Cerebral Palsy, who'd let me in. Had gone onto ask about Ziggy, was very keen to have a go, in the safety of the park. Which I know doesn't get cars off the road, and I don't suppose it will do that much for an individuals health because they might only get to cycle once or twice a week. But I hope it makes them as happy as it's made me.

Oh btw, I'm Man bird because I've got my Sunday Curry :)

I may delete this paragraph, am I mean because I wouldn't meet a man, who wanted to talk about leaving his wife??? I'm no agony aunt.

WoW

I feel a little foolish, and I'm incredibly moved, because to be nominated for s'thing by Steve,....well he only says what he means, which has been a bit hurtful to hear at times. And he's actually nominated me, for CTCs Volunteer of 2010, I feel honoured that he recognises the effort, i put in. And indeed the fortunate position i find (put myself) in, with Adult Social Services. And the rest isn't an effort, it's just me being me, and cycling because it's practical.

I do miss s'one to go for pleasurable (not that I don't enjoy what I do)cycle, because it does seem to have been all purposeful my cycling since, Mr Potts and I parted friendship. And I became engrossed in the Inclusive Cycling, There's no doubt about it, I recognise the driving force cycling is in my life, and I want to share that force with others. I just think I need to find a few other interests, or take more notice of my family, maybe?

I only cycled to the bus stop and back today, but I do just love it:) It just ticks all the boxes for me, I feel so energised, and I just can't understand, why those disabled folk who are capable, well why they don't cycle? I certainly don't agree with some sort of Nazi State, where folk don't get an option to how they travel but I have personally freed up so much of my allowance because I cycle more places.

Am I rambling? My children and I went to Jumbos for lunch and ate sooooo much!! I definitely will cycle to Mums tomorrow, unless it snows? I was supposed to be meeting a guy for a coffee tomorrow????? He's just told me he's married :(

Dave?? Hope today went really well. :)

Buzzzing

Oooh I am buzzzing, it's so exciting for me, when I see one of my little snippets of ideas coming to fruition. Or when s'one else says Wow, lets do it!!! Let me explain a bit, I was asked to go on this planning meeting about the empty shop units in Sheffield. I attended a group of 4 today, after having such a good nights sleep, I didn't wake until 835 am!!! Bugger!!!! My children had to be at school, I had to think on my feet for the next 30mins, but yes, they got there all be it late!

I arrived at the meeting at 1, and listened to what folk wanted to do, and not really wanting to interrupt, because I wasn't sure. I started to draw My Tree. Which of course had pictures of Ziggy, and all my Health Champion stuff, and what a big part the CTC had played in my life like York etc, and my SDS training stuff all sorts of really empowering stuff.

Anyway this went down really well, with everyone. And one thing led to another, and rather than interrupt again, but I had to just draw Apples or Fruit on 'the Tree' each fruit had an achievement or solution to a need. It's now become 'a display' on our 2days, which will probably include me taking Ziggy in, and leaflets of all I am involved in, (i've got no idea, how many other leaflets are being given out??? on that day?)

And I want The tree to be planted in sand, big lolly pop sticks, for folk to ask questions, and leave contact details and stick them in the sand. So they don't get lost.

I'm calming down now.......I had to sort out my wee boys hearing phoning school, and hosps etc, but I kinda get the impression my son and I are on our own in thinking that he's having difficulty.

I AM going to my Mums tomorrow honest:)

My lil boys X box is getting fixed in the afternoon. ;)

I'm still buzzing i must calm, I think I'll go and pour some wine.

Yipeeee!! blissss

I can't wait for bed time, I've actually got a bed to sleep in :) Infact my children and I have just been to lie down on it, just for the hell of it, and the treat, and the memory!

It was my Mum and Dads, they had it about a month, and then first my Dad became very ill, and flitted between a single bed downstairs in the lounge and hospital, before dying a pretty agonising death of Cancer. And then after, it was if my Mum had been holding out just to look after him, because the demise of her mental state was evident to anyone who knew her. And so his hospital bed in the lounge, was soon occupied again, by Mum until she just couldn't cope anymore.

I bottled out of cycling to my Mums, I havent cycled there for about 6 weeks, and tomorrow, I'm attending a meeting about that disused shop front, I'm wearing 4 hats whilst there. I think I might take a false beard and glasses :D And I might get some feed back on my 'Look Again' SDS budget. If I was happy and energetic, I would cycle to Mums in the am, but I do doubt that will happen :P

Oh and fantastic Rob, you are a star!! I will try those velcro straps, and next time, I'm at a DIY store I will try and get a lil stock :)

Oooooooooooooh you know the recipients of that stinky letter I wrote yesterday? Well coincidently Steve M, has asked me to take Ziggy down to an 'open day they're having. Should be fun!!

Night, I'm gonna get an early night :)

My complaint to Community Support

Below is an email, I sent after being advised to do so, I was suprised how it moved me soo.

Horis, I'd be ever so grateful, if you could forward this on to 'Wendy'? The woman who has as much insight into my difficulties as a Gnat!!!! and who kept leaving me messages, (a day too late) on my BT line, which was Out of Order, because of The Flood!! saying if I needed further support, to phone her. Did she just not appreciate the difficulties?

And then sorry Horis, (because I think you are Fab) for you to congratulate me, the following day for coping really well. Yeah, did I have any choice? I had asked for your help the afternoon of the 21st when water was pouring down my stairs. And you had kept me waiting until 'You got back to the office' where you would phone any necessary services for me????? It just ne' happened because apparently s'one had told you, I should learn to be independent. Thank goodness I have some good friends who came to my rescue! So no I still wasn't independent!! Just very lucky to know nice folk.

Although I was grateful for the extra hour, you could spare Cheryl for, to help me sweep up.

I did try phoning Social Services, who claimed 'We don't deal with emergencies!, we are a Social Care Dept!!'

My children aged 12 and 8, stayed at their Dads, I sat in the cold and dark with no electricity till 8pm waiting for a plumber and sparky that didn't show. B4 my darling brother collected me. My kids were so worried about how 'Mum' would cope, which is more than Community Support were

Jenny Brindle and I have been battling through My Review, and I actually said, I felt safe and secure except in emergencies 'Like having a burst, and flood'. I mean how many times have I been put on the 'back burner' because s'one else 's had a crisis???

I'm certainly not wanting a weekly visit, I'm not actually sure I want one at all? I need s'one I can rely on.

Just to let you know? I'm having new ceilings and re plastering and skirting boards and carpets, and laminate floor, to every room in my house apart from 2!!! They've been and taken mine and Finns bed away, to be destroyed, We don't have anywhere to sleep, because I can't get up off the floor because of my disability.

I'm crying as I write this because I actually feel very sorry for myself. And anyone who knows me know, it's just not my thing.

But Ey Up Happy New Year!!

Urrrrgh, my life, it's all gone black!!

I haven't got a bed to sleep in, my children are so bored without their 'Gadgets'. I can't sleep on the floor because, I find it too difficult to stand quickly, the settee is cricking my neck, but yet I don't want to move to a hotel, because I don't drive, and the logistics of getting the kids to school etc, would be a nightmare!! But watch this space, because I'm gonna phone the localish pub, which has en suite rooms to let...sometimes. Because having got my beds condemned and removed yesterday, I set about ordering 2 today, and nowhere would guarantee delivery within a month!!! And not wanting to cycle with a bed precariously balanced (Im sure I saw someone do that on tv!!! with a mobility scooter!!) Was it Dave??? :) nowt would surprise me!!

We cycled to the bus stop today, to catch a bus to the January Sales, which were indeed on, if you wanted to buy a Dining Room Table, or Settee, but my 8 year old wasn't really into all that, because it didn't have Call Of Duty Black Opps plastered all over it (the in thing...apparently)

My daughters been let loose on my Blog,

I've sent Rob my postal address, via email I haven't got your email Pete.

I'll be happier maybe when I get busy doing my stuff again, which doesn't neccersarily involve my little dears.

Hey remember Wagner? I picked up on a street corner? he's been back in touch.

I'm gonna stop searching for my 'true love' It'll have to find me!! But if i'm honest, I aint searched 'I'm just Ready Baby ;)

Let me know if anyone finds the tree annoying as a background? I found it a bit difficult to follow the text, Daisy did it, my children are invading my only bit of privacy.....the novelty will wear off though.

Catch you soon. :)

I'm back :)

HELLO ;D I've missed you all.

I've gotta confess though, I did feel quite liberated. Like I could do exactly what I wanted, and wouldn't have to tell anyone:)

I didn't cycle for 2 whole weeks because of the weather, and then when I did? My body was so decrepit, I struggled like a Beetle trying to get up off it's back!! So I had to take a child with me where ever I went, (hardly stretching my Independence) After 10 days of trying to dry my bed out, and sleeping on the settee, the insurance company have just been and removed my bed, Finns bed, an Xbox360, a Playstation and loads of other gadgetry things.

Ahhhh this guy was so lovely today, I am genuinely touched (not physically) My router arrived complete with internet password. Because I aint very supple or savy!! I asked this guy to come and set it up for me and of course I would pay him cash. As apposed to sleeping with him, as had often been the case recently.(should I say that?)www.Fix-My-PC.net moby 07963501826 was today's wonderful guy, he didn't want a penny from me, or sex!! He said it was a late Xmas Pressie, ahhhhh how nice. I think he saw me and the kids, having the furniture removed from around us. I was however in a splendid mood, because I'd just been out for lunch to this really nice wine bar, with my bruvs family and my Mum, and it was the funniest time I've had in ages,

I have been cycling to the pub, and leading a very slovenly existence, I iaint cycled to my Mums, because I don't think that I would make it, plus it would mean cycling on the pavement (?) because of my 8 year old, who hasn't done his Cycling Proficiency thing yet. I know he's confident enough, perhaps a little over confident, and I'm not sure that his hearings good enough??? He is infact wiser than me at times, talking of which, it was last New Years Day, when I gashed my leg whilst trying to go up a BMX ramp, on a recumbent trike, eeeeeek, ouch!!

I keep meaning to pick up a strip of velcros to use as a hand brake, because the inner tubes I have keep spliting?? has anyone any ideas?

New Years Resolutions? Last/this year I made 12, and kept or achieved 9, so I'm pleased with what I achieved in 2010, Oooooooooh but what were they?? I write them down in the back of my diary, and look and beat myself up for not doing owt, which I know isn't good, but I just find it interesting to see where I've been and how low I have sunk:)

HAPPY NEW YEAR, XXXXXXXX

Merry Chrimbo xxxxxxxx

Hello

I'm waiting for my Nut Roast, at my darling bruvs who is the Jamie Oliver of the family. I've just been to Mums with the kids and it was really sad :( to leave her there to be honest, because deep down I think she knew what was going on, despite been surrounded by wrapping paper and my children, and frivolities.

I will probably not get on here too often, because I need another Router, thing is it's got to be a Sky one!! and they reckoned it would be a couple of weeks. So i'm walking round looking very glum, at the moment. What with cycling and my independence as far down :( as the temperatures.

For those who don't know the reasons??? On Tuesday, I had the M----- F* of floods

gotta go
xxxxx

Brrrrrrrr!!!

Apologies for being quiet, but I felt a bit of a fraud talking about cycling , when I haven't actually been on Ziggy this month!!! I have done a fair bit about talking about it, but like I say I feel shy :)

I am killing 100 birds with 1 stone tomorrow am. And maybe some kind person will grit my drive? I have used an abundence of table salt, but it must be very cold, because it's not made too much difference. I ended up on my arse (such a good job I had my cycling helmet on,!!!)on Saturday night, and that was my attempt at getting Ziggy out, for a ride, to the pub. I graciously accepted a lift instead. The woman I went drinking with, has a blind sister, and they both might be into Tandam cycling??? They are gonna come to Hillsborough' open day in March.

I've been invited to sit on the 'planning board' for the vacent shops. Although I have kept trying today, to speak to s'one, and it's only for the Social Services Services, urrrrrgh if you follow? But I'm sure I can weedle Cycling and Health Champs in there, or find out who can.

As soon as I get a date for Hillsborough, everyones invited, and I'm talking nibbles of FOOD :)

Thanks to folk who were concerned about me being very quiet. I miss life :(

I'm nipping to Zest tomorrow, among other things.

My little angels are home also, but they are going to their Dads for a bit.

Supermarkets won't deliver, I will miss Pat and my Tesco bus, but I have a plan :)

Sorry Sheff Cycle group :)

Ok, ok I am a drama queen! always have been. But at 2pm yesterday, the rate the snow was falling, I had to make a decision? Did my children, need to sleep an extra night, at their Dads, or not. I decided I would be responsible, and stay home :( Little did I know, that it wasn't gonna get bad?? I do think it got pretty tretcherous on the pavements though. And I could just hear in my head other 'grown ups' saying how foolish I'd been going out. This is as I lay there with a broken ankle!! I would have done it, if i'd got someone to see me home, but I couldn't have expected that.

Hello Karen:) a fellow Health Champ, who's got the total delight of working with the folk, at Autism Plus. She phoned to ask me if I'd go and give a little talk about my blog :D. Urrrrm, I don't know what I can tell them?? But I will give it a go :)

I may have to censor bits like remember the X box guy? well I was a right sucker there (litrally???) - should I take that bit out??? I mean remove it from my blog :D, and never mention J* name again??? Apparently all his workforce got hold of my blog/facebook page :D by typing in my mobile number. And well?....Serves him right because although he absolutely swears he's single, I think not. Ey it's been a right 'rude' post? sorry.

I aint been on Ziggy, I would have risked it, but s'one had come to help me wrap presents, and I couldn't really leave her and p* off, now could I???

I'm definately going out tomorrow evening, with a friend called Sally, I've not mentioned her before, my son used to play football with hers.

And I had a month of sowing some wild oats, I'm going back to being celebate now.

Sorry :(

I met Steve MarsdenCTC to collect my award today, I will put a photo up, when s'ones just reminded me how to do it!! It's the one Dan Joyce got for publishing the best Story ever written about cycling. Well in actual fact it says on it, that it's for writing it, which he correctly said that I did :) So that's nice. It's so cool, that I get recognition, for doing s'thing that I LOVE doing. I had actually thought we were meeting to suss out the 'Vacant Shop' that we'd been told we could publisize Hillsborough in. But no it was to buy me lunch and give me my award, ahhhh how honoured I felt, a whole 2.5 hours giving Steve Cauliflower Ear!! As we sat the snow got thicker, and thicker!! I made the decision, that I wouldn't go out later :( I thought I couldn't risk not getting home or slipping on ice and ending up, with a broken leg?? What will I do, if that happens??

We discussed many of my ambitious ideas :D and after speaking wi my mate at my Mums home, about some of the residents cycling in the lovely park. (you know Millhouses Park, the one I like :)) She thought it was good, and so did Steve. So didn't I do well ?

Anyway, it's soo bloody cold out.

I spoke to my SW this morning, who was so behind me challenging 'The Panel' about my SDS. And wanted me to go for it, I had worried that it may make her look bad.

Ooh Steve's mates lending Hillsborough a Trice, I'm not sure what model though.

We called at the 'Vacant Shop' which was all locked up :(

I had so much to do, but it took me 1.5 hours to get home!!!

An email I sent today.

I am a brain damaged person, with a low IQ (it's been diagnosed) and even I can see the solution to my problems is a spare trike. Because I actually 'GET' the thought process behind SDS, maybe because of it's simplicity. Why don't these highly trained folk get it??? Maybe I can invite them to live my life for a day. And they would see how, such a simple answer, just does exactly what they seem to swear by,(it ticks all the boxes)

I don't know why I'm bothering though, because I can't have a more genuine case, I mean I think Jeanette and Mary knew me before I learnt to cycle. And I'm sure they can see the freedom my trike has given me.

I get the impression, that you want me to forget about this bit of my Support Plan, but this is the bit thats SO obvious.

If the Panel can't understand, I'm baffled as to what they've been hearing???

I really am upset by all this, because I see the simplicity of something so fantastic as SDS, and the benefits to ALL getting absolutely trashed by a load of intellectuals who don't fuckin get the picture!!

And YES Simon, I'd love to meet everyone on Thursday night. Thanks for asking.