My lifes just a bit too personal

Starvation, and the fact that my electricity was off, for 12 hours yesterday. Meant I had to get some yummy exciting sexy shopping, How can I make going to the Co-op sound exciting and attractive? It's not far, but I felt 100% better for the effort.

I was sent yesterday, a fab pic of a Lurcher, lying across it's owner who was riding a Recumbent Cycle :) It made me smile. Not easy at the moment. Sorry to be a miserable Bas*

At the moment, my plan is to Cycle, to the big Tesco tomorrow, with my little boy, on his new Scooter (on the Pavement), because he knows the Cycle paths down there, and wants to look after his Mum. And besides, it's along time since I've been on an adventure with him.x

Sunshine Buses :)

Yep, you know the ones? Theoretically they are for physically disabled folks, as well as the kids who have some learning difficulties. But i only ever see them with the latter group. Anyway, I feel a bit cringey doing this, because I suppose I don't see myself as fitting in to that cartography. But I grabbed the bull by the horns, and booked a Mini-bus (yes it will have Sunshine's and rainbows,on it probably)to take and return me to Hills borough Park, on Thursday the 5th of January, cost £6 return. So thanks to Kev Hickman, for that tip off.

Urmmm, I can't...won't divulge too much, but men are mostly shit to me, has s'one stuck kick me on my back?

So I wish for structure, and a Focus. Maybe I'll be better when I get to Hillsbro again, I do hope Sunshine buses work for me.x

Little Sleep, Really Poor Food, means a mardi Caz x

I woke up at 2 this morning, and I was so excited about giving the kids their presents, that I couldn't get back to sleep. At 5, I got the children up. :) x

I picked up the 'Suitcase food from the Spit, and cycled back.

It is extremely steep the hill to Cheshire Homes. But I will do it .....next year.

I thought of you today Dave, but you know sometimes, I am very thankful, that we share the children. So I can sleeep.

Fantastic Night!!1

Last night, The Eve, of the Eve of Christmas.

Not cheap (eeeek) but it's Xmas, and in theory I could have used my SDS money, to treat many neighbours and friends. But..... I didn't really I (with my own) was just paying for me and 4 children, to party 5-11. And I happened to stumble, not literally (for a change)on the Disco at the Spit!!!I'd arranged to meet Pete, Julie Andrews, Sylv and Matt (new characters)

Boom, Boom the disco began...and we boogied all night, the best bit of it was getting some people from Leonard Cheshire Homes on the Dance Floor. We had a great time!! My son commented on how I'd made their night, well let me say they truly made mine, and Julies. Who walked with me home, whilst my little boy and his mate took Ziggy. Hopefully I have made contact with the home now, because I think they would really benefit from Hillsborough Cycling 4 All.

Awwww I do love Mr Marsden!!

Steve arrived at my house early this morning, i think I was 1st on his Xmas Card delivery run/cycle, Bless him.

We kind of laughed about he'd helped me achieve so much, and now he was looking for a new me!! :( I know it's true, but I'm just too insecure :(xxxxxx

2 peas in a pod!! Brothers Grim...(ahhhh only joking , xxxxxx)

I'm out with Lorrainne tomorrow, I hope the weather stays mild. As it's an evening meet, and I am wussy about the dark.

I've had my Sleuth head on, and thanks to a Guy called Mark Weene, who I last saw 25years ago, it took 10 mins for me to find out the location of my ex teacher. I know I'll send him a reply and return an Xmas card. The powers of Facebook!!! Which reminds me, poor Rob http://glydearoundbritain.blogspot.com/ (i know the link will not work, but hopefully, you can follow his blog.

I did it....

Ouch, my Heart was heavy, as I went upstairs at Henleigh Hall, to find my mate Karen. Who I will be forever grateful to for bending a few rules to ensure my lovely Mum stayed in Henleigh, for the last 18months of her life, Receiving the very best of care. And most importantly for me, was the fact that I could Cycle there. We swapped pressies today, and I moved onto Millhouses Park, where I met the Gorgeous Miriam :)

I always get sad at Chrimbo, I'm a right Barrrr Humbug!! This year, could be worst? But providing Pete and the kids are happy on Xmas day, I will be ok. I've ordered a Take Out Xmas Dinner!!! from the Spit, bargain price, so I'm picking up at 3.

I loved cycling to the park today sooo much, can you tell :) I do feel so much better, happier, unfit. (it took me nearly an hour to get home!!) I'm meeting one of my sons buds Mums tomorrow, (i think she only knows what she's heard from other Mums) I just hope she's spoken to the right ones!!!

I will think of you DH!!! and just keep thinking of the good things you are going to do next year, with your daughters. And how things will surely get easier. xx

I'm soooo boring.... but content

I do feel very lethargic, cold and bored. And I'm really ready for Xmas. I can't wait, till January to be honest! Although I feel happier than usual, at least I've managed to get some nice pressies for folk.

For the past 3 years, my ex English Teacher, Mr Phil Walworth, who I loved. Has sent me an Xmas card, but NEVER has it had any contact details? I would love to find him, just so he could see how far I'd come since the Divorce, when I was a totally different person.

I think that will become my new mission.

And I have just been 'chatting' to Greame Willgress, who uses a SAD lamp in winter, with positive effects.

Remember my old Friday nights? when I used to invite people to mine for a drink and nibbles, it happened on Thursday, (enough said!) well I think that's happening this week. But life is not really very good and healthy at the moment.

BIRRP

That's Me and Dave at Jumbos, 9 of us celebrated Xmas, from the Hillsborough team. Good night, but I was on my best behaviour :) (No falling asleep in my Curry!!!)
It's a busy time of year for Dave!!! (get it?)

I've just completed my 5th Interview :) at SCBIRT, which went really well. And the Client, felt the same way I do? and that is that she is experiencing some sort of Post Traumatic Positivity. Because since she was run over by a bus (hey they have a lot to answer for these buses) But like in my case, she thinks it was possibly more her fault, anyway I do find it easier now, after doing 4 interviews on the trot.

And last July? A woman contacted me, via my blog. And she did sound a little eccentric in a nice way :)(not too dissimilar to myself) she's called Fiona, and has a blog called Ad libbed. And she wished to come and try the cycles at Hillsborough?? After being all over enthusiastic, I tnought I'd scared her. I was just making myself a coffee, and she said are you Caroline? Im Fiona with the Blog......and we got on like old mates. So do please get in touch. We could always meet up and you could try Ziggy- My trike.

I'm writing this early, because I'm out tonight, having a Chinese...eating...not 'Having' with Nick, Fred, Dave, David, Lawrence and the 2 Sues from Hillsborough. Which will be nice, because I do miss everyone. I ain't seen head nor tail (not that I ever do see his tail)....that was so unintentionally rude!!!! of my Hero Steve M, who isn't going tonight. might catch you later.

BIRRP/SDS and Social Workers!

I'm gonna be incredibly outspoken, (not like me) and I'll eat humble Pie if I have to. But today, by a Social Worker who 'Specialised' in Brain Injury I was made to feel so Stupid, at BIRRP meeting. And ~I'm happy to say, when I checked my facts - the minute I got home. I was correct. And the Socia\l Worker whos speciality was Brain Injury was wrong. It was just the way she said.....No Caroline Love, You have to be a qualified Social Worker!!!!!!!bla bla bla

Rant over:

I'm back there tomorrow, anyway. And We concluded today that our Interviews have been totally successfull.

Sober as a Judge :)

I apologise for being offensive, in previous Posts!! I just become, (get worst) a woman with a sewer mouth, at times!

Mmmm I went for the most beautiful lunch today, (i must be getting old if the most exciting thing to talk about is what I had for lunch!!) with the lovely Miriam, ooooh we talked about a lot and how I should maybe be thinking about some Confidence Classes!!! Ha!!! not getting them, giving them, next year at Zest, maybe. Wow!!I don't know that I could do that I can maybe help folk to feel more positive, about themselves.

I bumped into Angela Lant, who is just great, and used to teach my kids, she was the Headmistress, at Totley Primary.

I lead the following interview, with Jay, an Occupational Therapist by my side. I think it went well, but I can't really imagine the lady I saw as getting excited, or feeling happy about owt? It's such a strange thing isn't it? It's soooo true no 2 brain injuries are ever the same. She dressed like I do on a cold evening, all neck to toe in thick clothes with thermals peeking out the bottom off her trousers, with a purposeful overhang on her snug fur lined booties. (I secretly saw me!!! in 10 years) Ok, Ok, Me last week. And vowed and declared not to let it happen again!!! Which reminds me a bit I'm out again on Wednesday, with the Guys from Hillsborough.

Good News!! I've ordered a new Birth Certificate, with a promise that it will be sent to me within 14 days :) So thats me sorted The Olympic Torch. And the Director of Sustrans, (not sure which one) when he learnt of me doing the Torch thingy, wanted to talk with me apparently about Sponsorship?

I'm back at BIRRP again tomorrow, for my Monthly :)I'll probably have my period as well :D I have no shame.

I'm here....p* but ok :)

I suppose the reason why I've been so quiet? I'm not doing much riding :( and I'm ashamed of myself for that. I know I'd feel stacks better, if I just got off my ass and did it!!!

Friday, had been really intense in the daY. dELIVERING iNTERVIEWS FOR birrp in the day. And did anyone else think it was absolutely freezing or is it that I don't usually go out at night? Instead of getting my Glad Rags on, I showered and put on my Passion Killer 'Long Janes' and thermal vest!! (which was visable through my dress) and then felt 'dowdy' and plain next to all the toung Social Workers. I felt like a Service User' as I shivered. Although everyone there just so went out of their way, to get me pissed and make me be outrageous!!!

Pete was beautiful, he came to meet the car, just to make sure I wasn't totally off myu face. I reckon I could ave -pulled with this guy who chose to sit next to me. But the table wenmt silent as he asked me which Department I worked in. :D 'Urrrrm I'm a recipient of the SDS budget was my reply. Much to everyuones amusement, but Hey What else can I say? Maybe next time, but he didn't blow my socks off, and thast is what I want. Am I just revealing too much?

So Saturday, was spent with a sore head!! and today, I Cycled an insy bit to the bus stop.

B* you know last week, I spent hours at the Post Office, getting stuff sent and photiocopied? Well they didnt receive official documents, so i've got to do it again. But I've also got to go and do some more Interviews for BIRRP on Mon, Tues, Weds.

I'm meant to be meeting the beautiful Miriam for lunch tomorrow.

OOOOOOOOh!!!!!!

I'm beaming from ear to ear, with pride. But I just lay myself open to fail; and critisism. It really is difficult to jump through all the hoops, that are asked of me. (I'm talking about, Carrying the Olympic Torch) I have been chosen, but I HONESTLY, don't know why? I know the theory behind the reason, and yes I must sound impresive????? But I now know of 4 people, who were all nominated, and 3 were successful in getting through to the last round. And do you know, they are far more Credible and worthy than I, they all influence loads of disabled folk. And one of them has a brain injury like myself, through a Stroke!! (I do wish my Mum and Dad, were around to see it though.)

And I bet the others don't say rude offensive words when they stub their toe!! And I bet they don't drink, and act really immature!! But I am the only one I know whose lucky enough to have been chosen. Wow it is so big!! my kids are unbelievably proud!! even my ex, muttered words of Congratulations!!

I did sieze the opportunity, (what am I like) and I rang my mate Rony Robinson, and next minute, live on air!!! Telling folk about the Accessible Cycling at Hillsborough Park, and how it was fab, and I loved it!!!and by the way, I'm carrying the Olympic Torch, type of thing!!!

I was gonna go to Hillsborough today, as well. To think I'd have not known, for 5 hours!!! My little boy was off sick, so I stayed home, being the dutiful Mum. Also it was a tad on the windy side, so I didn't think it would be very busy. I missed everyone though.

So I'll let you know, how difficult it's gonna be don't worry!!

I'm very happy Thank you Nigel West for the nomination. Ooooh and Thanks to 'Wait For Pete' for suggesting it.

My Face

Ouch, it's sooo painful, cycling in the hail!! going downhill, about the fastest I ever get (Baslow Rd dual Carriageway.)

Did I write a blog yesterday? Ooooh no I didn't, too much time spending money, on pressies. I don't know how I would have coped without my windfall blip (with Income Support, in case you were thinking anything else) I( did a bit of work also for ASC, Hannah and I are designing (and a young guy called Michael, who wasn't there yesterday)This Record of Involvement, for the regular pool of volunteers to collect evidence of work they have completed. It's fully endorsed by the council, and all the documents will be available to download and print. It isn't tokenistic, there will be no Certificates and badges!! It's just a record really. So that folk like me, who can't remember peoples names and stuff, have got evidence. It's nice that the other 2 thought I had a really nice way with words, and I should write it. Which to be honest is the easy bit.

I got a cab home, because they paid!!! and welcomed my friend Lorraine, mmmm we ordered Curries, even the kids are partial. Bless her, it was freezing, and she caught 2 buses, to get to mine and 2 home. That's so nice of s'one to do that for lil old me!!! I did get just a tad 'Tidly' though. So when the alarm Drrrrrringed!! at 615, I wasn't amused but. Ouch I remembered the dentist, at 10. And my dentist (the one in Hathersage!!!) is always on holiday, so again,I was using a private extortionate local one. Who looked in mi Gob, and said that'l be £144 for me to fix. It's not decay, it's cracked. So I'll wait and see mine next week hopefully.

Monday.....dreaded school

My Son, had text me anxiously on Sunday night. He really feared the inevitable, as he saw it. Maybe in a different life, an angry grown ups word, would have stood for more clout. Than Character History? But I am really proud to say, Mr Stewart of Totley Primary, came up trumps.

I had telephoned school at 830am, just to be sure of 'getting in there first', I had said the story of events according to my Son. And what this Mum thought she saw. And how I'd given him the opportunity to defend himself over the telephone. (the Mum was outraged that I had allowed him to do this), and started a vendetta and slur, against me cycling on 'That Stupid Bike' Thankfully s'times, I think because I've been a Celebrity, for doing honourable things.

My Son did get a tiny bit punished...tokenistic, and that had been for swearing....saying Crap. (which I kinda let him get away with anyway,) as long as it's not every other word!

I had a dullish day to match my dullard feelings. Hopefully I will be brighter tomorrow, as I'm helping design the 'Record of Involvement' for Volunteers within Social Care to produce as evidence, of work completed.

Thanks Dave

And thanks Pete, who I aint seen for a month! since he joined the Couples of Christmas!! But burst in this am, with messages of support. Dave for letting me know, that at least I have the kids!! (even though it's far too expensive for my benefits. And when I asked for help today from the Dad, he gave me the choice their Xmas Pressies or helping?) I wish I'd called his bluff!!!

I cycled to the shops, I know I'm, really slacking. I just have no purpose at the minute. I've secured support from Pete for Friday, to put me to bed. After my night out with the girls!!

Saturday :(

I didn't sleep too well, revisiting the conversations from earlier in the evening. I'm trying my best not to cry all the time, mostly because of the time of year, and everyone becoming 'Coupley' and lovey dovey. My friend made me cry this morning, I aint seen her really for a year, she's one of the school Mums, I used to speak to, at the bottom of the drive. I'd sent a txt in the night, saying how I felt Bullied, for being a 'Weirdo' and trying to be independent. Anyway a couple of the Mums phoned, and why is it when folk are being really nice, I cry more!!!

Thanks Dave, she was absolutely bonkers, that woman!!!

Coo ee!!!!! I' Here :)

I'm sorry I've just realised that I aint been here for a while.

I've just had another parent call me a weirdo tho! Which hurt. And why? because she went off alarming about my son, bullying her son, and 6 of the boys were in my lounge all shouting above one another, about how the said boy booted my son in the shin sooo very hard. Anyway I said lets just calm it,till Monday at School, She went on apparently in the hairdressers, where she worked (how classy!!) to go off about me on that '' Fuckin Stupid Bike''!!I've been supposedly 'Educating' Council Workers today, about how I can think for myself etc, and then I come across Ignorance like that!!!!!

Hi to Richard who I met today at the SDS training day. I especially remember Richard, because he was Single!! Am I obsessed with men? Talking of which, on second thoughts, I'd better not talk about last night ;) but it was nice.

This morning I saw the kids off, thankful that I no longer have to take them to school in the cold morning. Then Matt picked me up, we went for H who is the Butt of many a joke, then Steph and Gwyn.m He's so dedicated to the cause of literature and coma, that he will do this. He says it's because we are his friends which is nice. And I don't think for a minute he implied 'Friends'!!!!

I really missed Hillsborough yesterday, so much so that I went to an ASC meeting, which went well. I suggested to Headway and to SCBIRT that they should be trained up in writing Support Plans, so at least s'one who understood Brain Injury supported the Survivor.

The hunt for a lurcher goes on, they're all too big!! So the kids and I aqre being patient.