Wednesday, 16 November 2011

I am here, is anyone still there?

I thought I'd change my mood, by concentrating on my blog, for 10 mins. Because all I seem to be doing at the moment, is concentrate on what's slipping, and whats gone. I feel like Hillsborough, and my work as a Health Champ, is slipping away. And therefore loads of my relationships?My Bezzy mate of the moment, is back with his ex, so thats gone.

And we buried my lovely Mum yesterday.

My bruv, wrote and read 'Family Memories' I laughed and cried, they were brilliant. A crowd of us scraped the graveside mud, from our shoes, and went back to his for a drink.

And now? I feel totally at a loss, I don't feel needed, or wanted by anyone.

I will go to Hillsborough tomorrow, for the penultimate time. :(

It hasn't changed my mood I've just reminded myself why, I'm miserable.


  1. Still here { 8-)

    It is normal to feel at a loss after a bereavement and it sounds like you are getting a double dose, your mum and Hillsborough.

    Take some time to reassess what you are doing, but don't forget to ride and blog for us.


  2. Thanks Pete darl, I did go out for a couple of miles today, just to the local Tescvo and back. It didn't make me feel better though!! xx

  3. Try riding for the sake of riding!

    Have you sorted out a loop yet? It is a great way to push your fitness, just think up a loop you can do in an hour and hit it regular until you can nail it in 50 min, then make it longer.

    This is what I did, albeit starting from a higher level, now my "3 hour loop" is my "2 hour loop"!

    Or there is the swimming.


  4. listen to pete - good ideas there

    Spare a thought for how I get through Tuesday and get rated to get the loans for working through that Big D issue.

    Currently bike-less due to crash

  5. I can't get over your last flippant comment. Are you ok? Thats ok, you can put a plaster on!!!!

    It's the pain thats not visable I suspect? The pain of Divorce, I imagine is far greater.

    Take Care x

  6. Hiya, still here listening in but haven't worked out how to answer from phone.... Too busy of late - new bike due May 2012 so trying to build up fitness and keep it over the winter - currently managing about 80 miles each weekend, sometimes a Friday afternoon spin then Sat & Sun, sometimes just Sat/Sun depending on weather.
    A 'regular' loop and time it works well to monitor fitness. Slower times can be a clue that a cold is coming on so time to grab some Vitamin C to help fight it off...