I'm sooo looking forward to tomorrow, when I'm going for a cycle ride, with my youngest. We are having brunch in the park, and he's so excited, because he'll get to show me his BMX tricks. All of this made me strong enough not to jeopardise any of this by getting hopelessly drunk tonight. And planning a quiet night in.........until 1Mum came round and another phoned, between them they have talked me into going to the kiddy friendly club.

I WILL BE STRONG THOUGH :)x

Happy New Year, to everyone 2010 is going to be fantastic!!

xxxxxxx

Spike :)

I shared my bed last night, with two weeping children, because 'Spike' the Gerbil looked decidedly very poorly. I booked Spike in at the vets, wondering how on earth I was going to pay? and secretly wishing the angels had taken him in the night. My kids screamed with delight that the angels hadn't been in the night. And I booked him in at the vets, because I had a plan.


First I had to get the weekly shop on my once an hour Tesco bus, and bless him, the bus driver had parked at the end of my road waiting for me. And then waited for me again, because 35 mins, isn't long really. But I was on a deadline. I explained to the driver that I'd got to take the gerbil to be put down :( and because my lil boy can be very endearing. I arranged to get taken by the bus driver , and dropped off, on his way bk to Tesco. Awwww, I was genuinely happy that it appears to be an ear infection. And he will live. And I was lucky that the tesco bus was coming past on my way home also :)

So what could have been very expensive and upsetting for my children, has instead been an experience that has lifted my spirits and made me feel glad to be me, surrounded by caring folk.

:( I still can't take Jez out, it's getting a bit ridiculous because the roads are nearly clear, but my drive is just sheer ice!!! And they seem to have sold out of salt everywhere.

Fantastic news, it looks like I can now afford the GT5, which I'm giddy about, but it is a lot of money and I'd rather wait for Steve from the CTC, to agree it is a great idea. But West Country Recumbents are being soooo patient with me, so thank you for that.

I'm gonna brave it tomorrow now, I've just read the comment from Rob. Unless I'm totally snowed in tomorrow. My kids will be about to dig me out tomorrow :)

I'm missing my Cycle For Health sessions, and unfortunately I will miss the first one which clashes with an Introduction to Developing Community Health course, I will be attending. I do intend to continue CFH, when my ICDH, moves to a Monday the following week. My life's looking busy again though, when I begin some work for the Social Services, around Individual Budgeting, which will mean I have to leave Cycle For Health 30mins early, and hey? do you think someone will cycle home with me? I'm a scardy, at first anyroad. I can't wait till 2010 :)

I feel like the Xmas pudding that had no money in it :) but this is the best Xmas I've had in years. Except for the fact that I can't ride my bike anywhere, because of the snow and ice :( And I feel like I'm putting on vast amounts of weight, which I know isn't just in my head because I actually am.

My children are coming home & it's Xmas Eve

I'm sooo happy my children will be home in a couple of hours. They have just landed :) I'm so warm and content, I don't wanna drag them out as planned. (I can't ride Jez anyway)

I spoke to my direct payments person, about the forth coming training. I will be helping out with, and all looks set and ready for the 4th :) And I begin the ICDH course on the 5th :)

Spoke to the CTC and Pedal Ready, and it appears, I've been as influential on making 09 a fantastic year for them as they have on making mine, the best year I have ever had :)

I'm so happy, as I sighed a content sigh, an advert came on the radio, asking for £19 for the homeless. Buying an individual hat/gloves/blanket and a meal, I sighed again and was happy to help, as I donated the money.

Merry Xmas everyone, thank you for reading, and playing a part in making this year so good.

Caroline xxxxx

Excited

I feel really good, I was a 'trail blazer' for 'Direct Payments' when it started back in June 08. It has allowed me such freedom. It enabled me to pay for taxis which I initially needed to attend Cycle For Health, which has transformed me. It was a big gamble by me CTC/Pedal Ready and my friend Anj, who gave me a lift home, every week and I would treat her to a bun and a coffee. It's because of pro active thinking like that. They think I would be good, and now things are different, because 'Altogether Better' and Nigel West, do in fact fund any transport costs I need. Instigated by myself, and supported by the CTC and Pedal Ready again, because they could see the effort I'd put in. Although I had written into my care package, that I did indeed, require money for gym membership. Instead I used that money for taxis, and cycling everyday, has done loads more good than an hour once a week in the gym. (not counting the writing, and promotional work)

Anyway I'm rambling again, I have been asked to help with extra training, for social workers. Hey it feels sooo good to be head hunted, because I think I used my Individual Budget, to make a difference to my life.

Most of my work will be on a Tuesday, which means I will need to leave Cycle For Health half an hour early, but I reckon, it will be worth continuing, because it wakes me up and refreshes me so.

housebound

First thing I did today, was to phone recycle and thank them for fixing Jez, at such short notice. The guy who answered, absolutely raved about her, I beamed with pride even though, she isn't mine. I've been studying the 3 options available to me, and I would love to go for the middle option available (which I know won't make sense to most folk.) but basically I need to be able to raise about £800 to do that. :(

Apparently the more expensive one has a schlumpf gear mechanism. Anything which makes the gears easier and stops the chain coming off, is a plus.

I was snowed in today, but aren't folk nice? 4 individual folk called to make sure I was ok?

Altogether Better, have said they will fund me and Jezza, to travel to other cycling events around the city. Which is sooo cool.

My children are still in New York, I must try and go to Argos tomorrow.

crunch!!!

Today was horrible, I know I exagerate things, for effect. But I swear, I really don't need to. Because it was the horrible crunch noise that personally made things so awful. To cut a long story short, my brothers car skidded on ice, straight into the side of another car. Thankfully no one was hurt, although I think the other car was a right off?

:) xxxxx I'm in love

I'm in love with a bike!!! I love her she is such a bridge for me to communicate. So many folk, helped me today, (not that I needed it!!)but of course I accepted graciously. I remembered 36 hours later!!! that I hadn't settled my tab at the bar....oops! I had to speed down, with £43.00, sorry and thank you for a good night on Thursday, to everyone in the Spit.

BIRRP

Yipee!!!!

My children are coming home for Xmas.

I was very dull today, at the Brain Injury Research Rehabilitation Partnership. (I don't supposed my hang over helped)

Uh Ohh!!!!

I had a fantastic day yesterday, beginning with everybody been lovely jubbley to eachother. Because we all knew that after tea, my children were flying to America!! with British Airways!!!! I can cope with them being away, but the prospect of them not coming back for Xmas, filled me with dread.

I met my lovely friends at Cycle For Health, including a lady who'd been particulally interested in trying Jez for her son. After talking to her and going on a bike ride with the group. She was sold, on the idea of a recumbent bike. It was lovely to see some folk, I hadn't seen since my 'journey' began. As I zoomed off, leaving everyone standing, Dave (Santa) remarked on how he remembered my first day at CFH, and how I'd teetered. With Steve and Simone, ready to break my fall if I'd tumbled off.

I rode through the park, where we spotted a beautiful Kingfisher, swooping for some breakfast. Life felt good until, I entered the woods. Grind, grind, went my gears, uuh oh.

My lovely friend/writer/cyclist who has a few contacts, booked her in for repairs. I phoned a taxi and I took Jez, with some difficulty. I started the Mum network, because I had to get my children,after school plus I had arranged to meet a lot of folk in the pub for tea. And I was gonna ride my bike :( It was sooo sad, handing her in at the workshop, it was like a much loved pet over for a serious operation at the vets :'( When???? I gasped in desperation. 'Oh we should get her done before Xmas!!I need her PLEASE try, she is my legs!! Yes I know, it was dramatic, but it worked and it's true :)

I'd been in touch with my lovely Fred, the gorgeous young friend cyclist. Who agreed to go and fetch her, and meet me at the pub.

snow??????

It only took me 5 minutes today, to go and get my hair all beaufont - cut actually. Which was cool, it then took me 10 mins to park Jeza, next to a post, because a car (booo hissss)was parked over the pavement and dropped curb. I'm off on the Xmas ride tomorrow, with Cycle For Health, and I'm really looking forward to it.

My life is soo good at the moment, but yet I know, I'm a bit in denial, about my children going tomorrow. And the danger of them not getting back for Xmas.

I'm proud to say my joy isn't because of a man or owt, it's down to me being me, and my family and friends being them.

It's forcast snow tomorrow, eeeek!!! What will happen ? As well as CFH, there's quite a lot of us going to the pub after school.

Dull :(

Hey, I know I moan (not too often) about my children. But the prospect of spending Xmas without them, fills me with dread. I mean, I wouldn't dream of not letting them fly to America (BA) with their Dad. But it's whether they will get back in time for Xmas :(

I can get to school now in ten minutes!!! It really is very easy, (and back again in 3!!!) And Carol from West Country Recumbent, has posted me a mirror on an extended arm :) Which I could definitely do with, to go further a field, than the suburbs where I live. Because whether it;s psychological or not, but ever since I was incapacitated, with knackered in ribs and a poorly shoulder. I feel like I've put loads of weight on.

It's buzzing at the school gates with talk of the pub, on Thursday night, (or is that just the choson few :D )

Soooooo good & easy

I've got quite a busy week this week, I'm really looking forward to Thursday, when I'm going on the Pedal Ready Xmas ride, in the morning. Followed by a big farewell to my kids (they're only away till xmas eve!!!) With lot's of adults and kids coming to my local pub. It don't sound right some how, :)

I owe my cycling success, to 2 main guy's really, Steve Marsden (CTC) and the lovely Dave Bocking (Pedal Ready), I think I extended my gratitude too much yesterday (oops) and told the higher arkey of the CTC. Embarrasing Steve a lil I think, he might just be saying that though. :)

The school run really is very easy. I did contact West Country Recumbents today and ask about borrowing a mirror wiith an arm. So I can venture onto the dual carriageway. Oooooooooh. And without hestation they are sending me one in the post. How very supportive is that? :)

I can't wait till 2010, (it's an annual thing) I love setting personal goals, I know I shouldn't incase I'm setting myself up for failure, but I feel like I can conquer the world as long as have 3 wheels.

Brrrrrrrr!!!!!!

I feel a right wuss!!! I've not been out on Jezza for 2days now. Instead I excepted a lift, to see my mum in hospital, so I feel like I haven't entirely wasted the day. And what a buzz I got from making my Mum really happy, I'm so glad I went :)

I know it's crap because I don't mention cycling. Hey maybe I'll get some thermals?

blog ‘thinking about cycling’

I read this blog tonight, that was reccomended by the CTC. And it's exactly how I feel about cycling!! For me to it has been such an epic journey, if I think too deep, it makes me cry. All these fantastic folk I've come accross, from the CTC, Pedal Ready and infactthe health consortium, Altogether Better. That fund me doing what I love. I remember the first time I rode to 'Forge Dam' it was such an achievement. That night, I woke crying tears of joy....i think. Because that was the night, I decided to get rid of my electric mobility scooter. Which was the best decision I've made in so many years.

:D I can't believe what I did today, I cycled to school to meet my children. I returned, with D* perched on the back of Jez, we got half way home :D And I'd forgotten F*!!!!! Outrageous, it meant I had to do a U turn and go at top speed back up to school though.

Take me to The Limit

What a fantastic book, I've just read. For those of you from Sheffield, and over the age of 35, it's all about The Limit nightclub. Enough......of my ramblings.

Jez glides, she rides perfectly. I rode her to the bus stop, passing my daughters class out walking. Ahhh, it broke my heart :( but hiding in the hedge, was my girl, embarrassed about me....:( I can't really understand why, because she loves a ride home from school.

I've reserved my place on the ICDH course, which begins in January.

I've bought hundreds of xmas pressies, I get so giddy, sometimes.

Fantastic news, Steve Marsden (ctc) along with Nigel West(Altogether Better) colluded with each other and came up with a course that I'd be good at, if I was as enthusiastic about it, as I am most things. It's called the Introduction to Community Development and Health. It starts in January, and it sounds great, I hope I'm not too late. It's so lovely that folk who don't need to give a damn about what I do, seem to really care.

I didn't dare go out on Jezza, I quite easily could have gone to school this am, but I didn't dare in case my chain came off, or the gears jammed? But I needn't have worried, I had the best ride on her that I've had, the chain stayed on. I picked my children up at 3.20 and was home for 3.23, it was great :)

Really looking forward to Cycle For Health meet next week, so I can take Jezza somewhere new, and see folk again.

I love Fred.. and Richard (my handyman/cleaner) :) but they'll wait.

I battled to get my bike out of the house for the last time today, I am soooo happy about that fact (my children are ecstatic also) I glided to school in 10 mins. And sat as proud as punch, watching my children in the nativities x2 because I watched infants + Juniours. I'm tempted (but I jest) to always find things difficult wi my bike because it's such a conversation starter, when folk have to help you put the chain on or stick a foot behind the wheel. I love the fact that people recognise my humility, and speak to me, regardless of age, or status.


I had 10 minutes to get home and get the tesco bus, wow she was like lightening. And have I mentioned that the council had filled the Crators in after I had reported them.


When I got back, Richard was fixing new locks to my shed, and he'd sorted the kids shed as well. What a relief!!

I must mention Lindsay, who used to work, and laugh at me....i mean with me, she's great. And it's nice knowing that I've left an imprint on her heart.

When I went to collect them it was great, not having to battle first. I gathered a few more folk to come on the 17th for a drink, as I waited at the bottom of the drive. So it should be nice.

Zoomed back, to see Fred from Pedal Ready who is more of a friend than owt else now. He did a few bit's but got stuck, so has gone away to research it a bit. But I did spot a chunky rubber band arouynd his wrist, which I nabbed to hold my hand brake on. (a tip from Westcountry Recumbents)

Hey Dave dearest, you better come to my house, because Fred likes scones too!!!!

My daughters gone out again to do the nativity.

Urrrrgh!!! I've just written a long entry for my blog, and blah! lost it. So I'll keep this shortish, I'm really happy because there is now an Xmas Cycle For Health bike ride, when I can catch up with a few of my newer friends. Because 09, has been such a momentous year for me.


Who would have thought a year ago, that I would be building a reputation for being (not that!) a happy, funny, cyclist. Nah it doesn't sound right that? I can't even walk 8 metres, let alone cycle 8 miles!! Who would have thought that? But I can, and have done it a few times.


And after Cycle For Health, some single parents, and loads of children, are going to my local for tea, because my children are going away till Xmas Eve :( So a kinda farewell gathering.

Thank you for the helpful suggestions, it's great that folk who've never met me, offer support. The one I'm following up, came from Tony.

http://www.torc-anchors.com/shed-shackle.php

Thanks Tony. x

Hey I'll let you know, how I get on being a night rider :) I'm going out for dinner later, it's fairly local, so I'm riding Jezza. And so I'm not farting about later tonight, I got up this morning, and don't laugh :D sellotaped and tied on a torch, to the front of Jezza.



Right....I wear a white coat, have a red light on the back, a bright torch on the front. To cut a long story short, I p* a driver off, this woman leaned out of the car and said 'She couldn't see me on that contraption!!, what a stupid idea it was to ride it on the road' I calmly said I have a disability, would you prefer it if I crawled under a stone, or something!


Chain fell off a few times. Urgh...
Nearly killed the kids and I getting her back in the house, but hey ho, I'm smiling.
Had a fun night, I love my mates.

Why is my life so difficult? I know I get more support than the 'normal' non disabled person, but I do find the practicalities of being single, so very hard. I mean getting Jezza into the house, is so very hard because I don't think she's safe at the moment I'm afraid there has been a few burglaries in the area. So I'm getting alarmed etc, next week.

I wizzed up to school, like lightening, leaving my supportive friends to walk. I had no choice if I lost my momentom, that would be it. I 'slobbed' at the bottom of the school drive. I find it difficult to look like anything else when sitting in the recumbent. My chain hung so low, it fell off, :( luckily I had about 5 bike little bike experts set too putting it back on. Hey I rode up this really steep hill that normally defeats me and it was a piece of p* (sorry, but it was very easy)
Stoped briefly, got back on and the chain had come off again, I wanted to cry, this man who must have been 90, offered to help me, along with another Mum, who knew me by sight (everyone knows me by sight) I watched his old spindly cold fingers feeding the chain back, with such precision, i felt like crying, bless him he couldn't even see to do his own shopping, but had made such an effort at repairing my bike for me. I bet I was the only (non carer) he'd spoken to all day.

Once home, I realised I really can't do it on my own :(
...........................but I'm willing to try.
I've arranged to have my outside sheds secured and alarmed this week. And I've arranged for Fred, to come round Tuesday after school to give me and my kids a repair lesson.
Thank you Steve for being blunt.x

I had wanted to be able to write of my greatest adventures today, but alas, it was cold out, I hadn't got to fetch my kids, so I've been a lazy git, with a poorly shoulder. Sorry.

11 am, I don't mean to be needy, and Steve (CTC) has indeed done so much for me. But I'm scared now, because bless him he says he can't take me to get my bike. So he's told Carol, at West Country Recumbents, what I need. And hopefully between us, we can find something. But I'm soooo scared, it's like learning to ride a bike, and your parent lets go with their steadying hand, do I waver and fall? or push the pedal down and get on with the journey? Carol's (West Country Recumbents) been in touch and it appears I was wrong in thinking, that the seat on the GT5 was more reclined than the GT3, they are both the same :) So I feel a bit more appeased with that knowledge. I feel a bit of a t* telling them they've got to come and collect their own back though.

I've been to the Drs tonight about my shoulder :( it has been hurting so, but not when you'd expect it too. He reckons I've probably cracked a rib, and at worst my collar bone as well, but either way, it's not that there is any magic cure. I started to cry, I'm fed up of being a miserable git for my kids. They are so lovely and incredibly helpful with the bike. They love knowing that Mum is dependant on them at times.

I had wanted to be able to write of my greatest adventures today, but alas, it was cold out, I hadn't got to fetch my kids, so I've been a lazy git, with a poorly shoulder. Sorry.

If I hadn't have had to get my children off to school, this am and folk hadn't paid for me to go to Cycle For Health, I would have so snuggled back down the duvet, and gone to sleep. I haven't been sleeping well, because of my shoulder. I want to cry, it's making me feel fatter, lazier, and just fed up. A few folk have said today that it sounds like 'frozen shoulder' and that it takes months of physiotherapy. Well I wouldn't mind because I do like my physio, but it's the cost.

Mr Steve Marsden (CTC) returned my calls about Greenspeed, and he's looking into it for me :)

My taxi arrived, you know I still find it a bit hard to believe that folk subsidise my attendance, because I am 'inspirational' to others? It chokes me up a bit, but I can't deny the evidence. It was week 5 at Low Edges, and there was only 4 others which was a shame. It isn't a very exciting park, but yet it is a little unknown oasis in the middle of Low Edges Estate. Simone (Pedal Ready) was an absolute star, she shifted the 'boom' back on my bike, to effectively 'move' my seat forward. I didn't recognise Barry - Pedal Ready - because I think he looked like he'd lost weight (must be all the cycling) and Howard he looked much younger and happier. (Considering he'd got to repair 80 bikes in about 30 mins last time for Totley School, there's no wonder.)

I rushed up to Totley School, in 10 minutes as opposed to 30 mins today :) only having to pause a couple of time as opposed to 'every 10 pedals' as my son recalls. I had taken D* a helmet so she could perch on the back on the rack.

Apparently this man stopped my children, and asked them all about me today. Saying he watched me everyday and how he had started getting out more, because he loved watching me interact with everyone. And he wanted to too. Ahhhh nice

I love Angela Lant :), well not actually, but I am very happy my children attend a pro cycling school, which positively encourages its pupils to take safety seriously, and tempts them with a continental breakfast as a reward. So Totley Primary has a real bike presence about it, what with Pedal Ready, Bike It and me in my CTC tee shirt, and the area project manager Steve, collecting my son so they could both cycle home together. It's really good, and makes me proud.

Anyway I'm not too sure about whether this will happen? but it won't be through lack of enthusiasm, by the school or myself. But Steve Marsden (CTC) said that if school would let them use the playground, he would teach my mates to ride bikes.

I did a quick 'reccy' and it would appear that Monday is the only common suitable day as well. But there's all sorts of issues like, how many folk? Who's insurance covers the participants?

And I cycled to my lovely physios to show him, my super cool bike (in the daylight) Do I just bore people:D Because the shop was locked up.

I either need to smuggle a child (one of my own preferably!) under my jacket, everywhere I go. Or get a handbrake for the bike I keep. I can't imagine what I looked like today trying to walk Jez up past the shop so I could park her on the flat bit. Thing is, I was still seated, with a big f* off recumbent bike in-between my thighs. All I needed was someone to wedge their foot by the back wheel to stop her rolling back as I dismounted. I saw this woman approaching, her gaze was obviously avoiding mine, (perhaps I embarrassed her, because I was obviously struggling?).

I said in a very loud voice, 'I wonder If you could help me please? please say you will' I explained she only needed to put her foot behind the back wheel to stop Jez, rolling back. The woman was delightful, and delighted at the same time. She came up to me in the shop and said, 'Please tell me when your going, so I can make sure you set off ok.' So in a very conceited way, I think I made her feel good, in return, for helping me immensely :)

I came back and had received an email from a Sheffield cyclist, who I must publicly thank, 'thank you'. He thanked me for writing my blog, awww thats so lovely, I love hearing that folk like reading about my sometimes mundane, sometimes amusing (well I find it funny) blog.

I have sent West Country Recumbents a wish list, because one massive advantage of borrowing Jez, is that I can see what I need, in order for it to be a success.

I can conquer the world at the moment, (except if it was to just push my left shoulder :D) I left my son standing as I zoomed off on Jez, moving along with the cars instead of wavering in the gutter, almost apologetically, like I used to when I was on Gretel.

The only hitch came when I had to pull up at an uphill junction, doa!! I forgot to stop in a low gear. So when all the traffic moved, I'm afraid I didn't until in stepped my 7 year old, to gi' me a big push, bless him.

I anchored Jez, caught the bus into town, collecting her at the shops on my return. It was, brilliant, she is so fast. Hey do you know, my head lamp had broken into a billion bits again. I knew I'd need lights for riding Jez back, and the easiest thing to do was get some pretty red fairy lights, you know that run off batteries? We got home and everyone wanted fish and chips, what a shame ;) I'd have to go out on Jez again :)

One thing I'm struggling to understand, is because I find it so easy in comparison to Gretel, is it doing any good? You know what they say? No pain, no gain!!

(Photo shows Fred from Pedal Ready with Jezz and me at Hillsborough)

Woke up this morning, and felt great, I had a super cool cycle. No longer a prisoner of the 4 walls, West Country Recumbents emailed with advice, which was very nice. But I do get a tad tearful, when I think of who has made the difference to my life. I couldn't have done this on my own, no matter how determined I was, (and apparently I can be,) but what's the alternative to being determined???? I don't know anyone who'd be the alternative, do you?????

I have to get 'approval' even if it is for being a bit different. But without anyone to help me untangle the bikes, and nursing a poorly shoulder, I sulked a bit. But when my welfare worker called and asked if I needed him, I seized the moment. I was so excited, because H* has done the 'wheels for all' course, and I know loves recumbent bikes. And although it was a struggle, I am happy to say, it's sorted. He took Jez for a ride, and I felt proud.

Oh wow, I nearly forgot, I received my copy of the CTC 'Cycle' magazine, and there on the letters page, was a letter and an article about my article. It was saying how it made this couple cry a bit. So many folk have said that, and I tried to make it sound positive, because cycling has been a really positive experience for me. I am moved by the response because the story comes straight from my heart, (because I wrote it). I want to do a bit of a follow up article, do you think I should? I'll maybe wait till I get my very own bike.

Btw, my mobys crashed again so if I've been ignoring your texts, I can receive, but I can't give. (that wasn't meant to be rude - I'm so immature sometimes!)

This morning was spent trying to find someone to put the chain on????? Jeza, Steve (CTC) couldn't come out again, Dave and Fred, from Pedal Ready were both training in schools. I have a couple of contacts who have said Friday, the other Monday. But as always I want it to happen NOW. Because for the first time since June, I wanted my electric scooter back. :(

I need to see folk.

Nearly forgot, I attempted to go to school on Gretel, and it hurt my arm too much, when I pulled back on it as I went up hill. I turned round, upset because I couldn't do it, and there was a replay of what happened a week ago, when I fell. Except, instead of letting myself fall or saving myself with my weaker left leg, I thrusted my pedal down, and rode out of the situation.

I came home, and booked my taxi for tomorrow.

I'm really sorry :( this isn't going to be my usual happy cheerful entry.), I attempted to take Jezza (the new bike) out 3 times, failing twice. First time was bright and early in the morning, wi my kids, early for the school run. And I couldn't understand why I couldn't get up the hill....doa!! ...it was in 9th gear!!! Which I only found out 20mins later, when out of the blue Steve CTC turned up to bring a rear flag for Jezza.

Steve zoomed up and down the road on her, then he answered his moby. So I seized the moment and took her for a spin up the road. :) I was super happy, I couldn't wait to pick the kids up on Jeza, but at 2.30, I set off wi my mate (who was there for moral support) I got half way up the Rd, and the chains hanging off again I think it won't pedal freely anyway. So I had to walk her back, it was like leading a lame horse back to the stable.

I'm soooooo excited!!! I want to, but daren't, go out on the GT3 that I borrowed today from West Country Recumbents (Web: www.wrhpv.com). I'll wait until it gets light tomorrow, I'm still in my wet clothes because I've done nowt but talk since I got back.

Steve (CTC) picked me up at 10, we drove straight to Derby and arrived at 11.30. Greeted by the lovely happy, chatty Carol, who owned the small business with her husband, it obviously is much more than a business, it is a hobby that they both get pleasure from.

And to their credit, they obviously get pleasure out of seeing other folk enjoying their bikes. I came home (on loan) with the GT3, and a pair of Carol's cycling shoes (thanks 4 that). I need to know if I can make it up the hill to school, before I buy it.

I really enjoyed today, because I've come home with something different to ride to school. Because 'bless her' but Gretel gives me nightmares a bit, after my fall. And at a push I could take..............Eddy {new name) in a black cab to CFH on Thursday.

And, I finally got to tell Steve of my conversation regarding 'Wheels to Work' and he thought it 'Had Wheels' so to speak!!

Awwwwww I'm happy.

A bit extra......My physio must think I'm a fake because my shoulder is much better as the day goes on. It seems worst when it's been 'holding itself' to stop rolling forwards or back when I am sleeping. But anyway he did various tests that didn't seem to hurt. Poor guy, but he didn't grumble. And charged me a quarter of the price! He's beautiful.....his name Andy Okwera 07901968549 And he even acted interested, in my new bike :D

Today's been horrible, my ribs are just too sore for me to ride to school. Or even go out, I was supposed to be going to the pub later, but I feel all lackadaisical now. And it's only because I ain't cycled for 3 days, so haven't seen my mates :(

This week has made me realise something though, how much my life now depends on cycling. I was always proud of the fact that instead of living to cycle, like a lot of enthusiasts, I cycled in order to live. But this week has made me realise, I NEED to cycle or nowt happens and I become a miserable git.And I've had Gretel for 100 days!!! That means, I got rid of my mobility scooter 3 months ago. WOW!

It's good to be on the bush telegraph (ooooh that could be rude but it ain't meant to be). Another Mum txted to say she'd missed the bus, and could I fetch her wee boy from school, when I fetched mine. Eeeeeek immediately I phoned J* who was collecting my children, and sorted it, or rather J* did. But it's good to be networkin'.

Another example of this is how I read on the Inclusive Cycling Forum, about a place in Cambridge that custom made recumbent cycles. I suggested this to my dear friend Andy (CTC) who was trying so hard to find a guy with a left sided weakness a bike. Anyway, I got a message from both today to say, thanks because they thought they had found one, at the place I'd suggested. I know I've felt crap today, because I ain't been able to go out and spread any positivity, but sometimes I can give out some just by communicating.

:) xxxx

Awwww, I missed my lovely Fred, and Cycle For Health. I decided this morning, that I would be ok to go, because I ride a recumbent cycle. And it might support my ribs etc. But the car journey to Cycle For Health proved that theory wrong, as I struggled to breath and stated to hyper ventilate, - yes I know I'm dramatic, but that's what it was like!!!!!! So I came home, and slept.

I had 3 mails of support from the CTC, when I got back. Which was really nice, they'd all read my blog :) So thank you, for following my ordinary life, and wishing me well.

I woke up turned on my pc and moby, and received a barrage of well wishes from the CTC and Pedal Ready. Awwwww I was truly touched.

My left booby hurt though, ey up there's no taboo subjects, are there?

This is a rare snippet, because I don't feel vulnerable very often, but today I feel shocking. Bearing in mind I only ever used to suffer from epilepsy, when I had a period, and today was such a time, with reduced medication. I really didn't feel well, and commented to my mate. I was sensible and had extra medication, hopefully avoiding a seizure.

I set off early for the school run, and only made it half way, and I had to phone my mate and ask her to pick up the kids, because my legs just were so weak, I'm so tired. I turned round, cycled back, but on turning onto the pavement, Gretel toppled to the left. And my left leg isn't strong enough to support my weight plus a bike. As my face headed for impact I briefly wondered if my helmet was bigger than my nose. Fortunately it was, my friend from 5 doors away rushed out, so did my cleaner. But the impact on my forehead was huge, I dread to think, what could have happened if I hadn't been wearing a helmet.

I now have even more reason to want a recumbent, that was sooooo scary. I think I've been in shock a bit because I'm shivering all the time.

Met a fantastic, well educated woman today, whilst out on Gretel. She asked if she could have a sit on her, saying it was exactly what she was thinking about, where did I get her? How much? Was she difficult to ride? Hey Steve and Dave, Nigel, she said 'I hope you get paid by these healthy cycling organisations? You couldn't be more effective, if you had a banner.' I smiled and said, I get paid loads in kindness. And gave her a contact card, I hope she gets in touch, as I think she too has medical problems, and would benefit greatly.

Awww, folk at the CTC, have really taken me under their wing. Whilst at the same time respecting my opinion, it feels good. I offered my experience to someone today which felt really cool, and I loved feeling useful.

If someone had of suggested at the beginning of the year, that I'd be so into cycling?????? I'd have called them 'sick', and having poor taste, for even suggesting it.But here I am, getting so much pleasure doing just that. I have thought, it is probably as a result of being single, because for once in my life I ain't thinking of what a partner might think. The only thing that worried me, was the kids, and their opinion. Which has been hot and cold if I'm honest, but they sooo love my new friends.

Wow I imagined I would feel totally gutted when I heard that my ex was re marrying. But I'm honestly, truthfully, kinda relieved, in a weird way. I've got new interests now, interests that were not part of my marriage to J*.

I am a new individual, it's exciting. I am proud of my new interest, and incredibly proud of myself (sorry for being smug.) But it's bloody hard work cycling to school, but it's been the easiest and most rewarding way to get slimmer. I haven't had to change my diet, one bit, (sorry Nigel). And I have become a bit of a celebrity, in a world that I thought was unobtainable, in fact it was so far away, that I never even dreamed it. And soon, I'm gonna get my own tee shirt wi CTC written on it, as I become a volunteer. (I promise I won't wear it on a Friday night Steve.)

Peace____________The children did moan that the fire engine didn't show up :( But to be honest I couldn't afford it, I had thought it was really well organised with loads of adults on hand, but my kids said this morning it was boring. Which 'Cut me to the quick!!'

Why is it when ever I brush past, or gently blow on my front bike light, does it fall to the floor and smash into one hundred pieces. :$ Anyway I rode to the bus stop, but had to come home with no front light. I personally think the luminous jackets and waistcoats look unattractive!!! But if they make me more visible, I don't really care what I look like. I will pick one up next time I'm anywhere that sells them.

Received a couple of emails from people who'd read the article yesterday in the Sheffield Telegraph, it gave me a buzz because they weren't folk that I normally see, so it was nice for them to see a little bit more of me. (If you follow)

I can't wait to independently ride further, I hope I find my own bike soon, and I hope I can do it. I'm a bit scared/worried in case I can't after everyone including myself is putting so much effort in. It's a little bit like how I felt b4 I went to Cycle For Health.

Fabulous start to the day. Thanks to Dave (Pedal Ready) my daughter's bike was fine, and she rode off for her Bikeability test this am. My wee boy followed on his BMX, he's a bit jealous, because as of today, my daughter gets to ride her bike on the road. Her brother, on the other hand, only does it when he tells folk like Steve (CTC), that I let him ride on the road all the time ;)

I appeared in the Sheffield Telegraph today, promoting cycling. Owt I can do to help the cause I will. Because I just don't understand why more folk don't. It just makes sense, in this ecological climate, and economical for that matter. And most single Mums, for example, haven't got the time, or the money, to go swimming, or the gym. And they will soon get bored of an exercise bike (how long b4 it becomes a clothes hanger?)

I went to Hillsborough today, to be a 'health champ' at Cycle For Health. And saw my 'lovely Fred', we cycled all the way to Oughtibridge, which is about 4 miles and turned round and did another 4 miles back and indeed 'I sweated like a fat lass' :D

My lift came, we called at my Mums, to take her a copy of the Telegraph, because I know she would have gone and bought one , had she been well. So I showed her and she was proud.

I then rushed up to school, I met my mates who'd began my journey of cycling with me. Awwww, they were lovely 'in their own way' :D, but they made the journey easier for me.

Got to the school gates, and the lovely Mr Marsden phoned (CTC) to talk over logistics of teaching Mums to ride.

:( The fire engine that was picking my kids and their mates up from school can't do it, it's broken down. Hey I wonder if the multi talented star of the CTC, Steve Marsden, could fix it? He used to repair broken fire engines.

Oh well, they've got a disco, make up for the girls, and tattoos for the boys.

I've got a Brain Injury Research Rehabilitation Partnership meeting tomorrow :) I like feeling useful.

I'm so knackered, maybe I should calm-----------------------as opposed to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!excitement!!! I'm just a bit hyper at the moment, and my brains just whirrrrring about the possibilities of promoting cycling. I cycled to school at 3, and dearly hoped that I'd bump into Dave (Pedal Ready) and didn't :( . Spoke to a Mum, (she's poorly, and cried when I started being nice, so I felt shit). Another Mum who's in a wheelchair, and is as positive as me about stuff, agreed to having a go on Gretel, if I helped out with a learning to ride session, at the school, with some of my mates. That would be so inclusive if that happened :)

The lovely Dave came to see me to fix Daisy's bike :)

I cycled to the Drs, for a double whammy flu jab, because apparently I'm high risk!! ....it's all gone black. :D

I also have arranged to wean myself off my anticonvulsants. But she thought it good if I police risky times (eg, when I'm ill, stressed, partying all nite, etc) and keep a few for such times.

I've got Cycle for Health tomorrow, with my lovely Fred.

I've actually not done too much today, as I had to wait in for a repair man. But caught up wi Steve (CTC), who's actually bringing someone to meet me tomorrow, how exciting!!

A photo of me cycling taken by Dave from Pedal Ready is going in a magazine. (Ey, I'm a hot in demand model!!) And the journalist is going to contribute towards my bike fund, which is so supportive.

I cycled to the shops on my way to school, smiling at folk as I do. And I said hello to a child who was pointing in awe at Gretel, then I met an extraordinary gentleman, who must have been 75?

He stopped me to admire my bike, and went into detail about the old Totley Odeon Cycling Club that used to meet in a wee shelter, in the woods. Their bikes, were pretty knackered in, with no gears, seldom having brakes, but he obviously was so fond of those memories, that were 60 years old!! And something really struck me, cycling was able to stretch across the generations, as well as abilities. It really was all inclusive.

B*!!! I'd decided, I was gonna push myself just a little bit further than my 'safe' trip to the shops. I don't know whether to blame my trousers, which are too big now, or the wet leaves. But I pulled up at the bottom of the drive, to give way to a car, and I went 'tits up' into the middle of the road, (fortunately the car had stopped). Grazing my elbow and denting my pride, though.

How glad I was that my neighbours (who find it funny that I try and get healthier), weren't around. Instead, some dear supportive residents came and helped me up. I brushed myself down, and went to the coop, only to find it was closed!!! Had I not have felt a bit wobbly, I'd have maybe ridden to Tesco express, I will next time. Only I just felt a little shaken, urgh I regret not making myself though, and curtailing to my insecurities.(I'll just beat myself up for a bit, but at least I live on to try again another day)

Ey, I'm right proud of myself, long story. A few months ago I needed to use my Individual Budgeting money to employ an electrician to fit me a 'trip switch'. So when I was plunged into darkness 5 mins ago, I just needed to lay on the floor and flick a switch :) Ey I feel rite empowered.

Well last night, was if I'm honest a tad disappointing. But it wasn't because I didn't pull, because I honestly didn't want to (well, I didn't want what was on offer.) So I just have to accept that I ain't going to meet anyone for a deep and philosophical chat over a dance floor!!

But why are we so shallow? I do try not to be but I admit, I'm as guity as the next. Most men, aren't interested in me when they see that I limp. Which is sad, not only for me, but for them, because I think I am an asset to have as a mate. I've gone all deep and heavy now, soz xx

My mate's just travelled from Leeds with his wee boy for a coffee :) J* popped in this morning, now she did enjoy last night ;) We've planned our next night out, perhaps next time I'll know what to expect.

My children aren't back till tonight, I'm just gonna cycle to the chippy for tea, because I can.

I thought I'd better write this entry before I got hopelessly drunk tonight and forgot, (sorry Nigel!!).

I arrived at my Health Champs meeting, not too nervous, because although I didn't know many, everyone seemed friendly and 'normal'.

I spoke a bit, I think I did ok, I just worried about mentioning everyone who'd supported me, in supporting everyone. I also met a guy who had conquered his own mental health stuff and was now leading health walks. And I thought, good on ya!! But thinking about it I bet that's why I have an impact. Then my cycling heroes of the moment arrived that was Dave from Pedal Ready and Steve from CTC .

Nigel (Health Champs) spoke a bit, and was urging us to decide what we wanted to do with the experience we'd gained, and if we needed further training. Steve Marsden, suggested that I do a 'community welfare' course, the same one that he'd done. Nigel thought this was a great idea, and introduced me to the relevant folk. Steve and Dave were so lovely for being my guests, and Nigel was so lovely for letting me invite them. I wanted to cry, I was so proud of knowing them.

I'm knackered!!

I cycled to school to get my children, and catch up wi the other Mums, who are going out later. My children are stopping out at my bruvs. Do you think I'll pull?

I'll let you know tomorrow ;)

Fabulous day, today I'd got the luxury of time on my side. Fair enough I'd got a bit of phoning and sorting to do. But thankfully I'd got a lot of time to do it in.

My children, were so excited because 'David Bocking' was teaching Bikeability at their school :) and they only know him because of me. Which makes me feel chuffed, and it kinda displays the fact that cycling is inclusive, and that mum's disability is inclusive.

I have just come back from my dentist. What am I like? Just gi me a mega phone!! There's a new bike shop in Hathersage, next to my dentist, called The Bike Station. I went in the shop wi a lop sided mouth, and probably dribbling, but managed to introduce myself and gave him a few contact cards. I think the guy thought I'd got a lotta front.....bum bum, (no pun intended). He was just very friendly, but maybe a bit taken a back.

Went to school at pick up time, and I can only presume it was because I'd only just finished my lunch, but I was in agony, when I got there, it's a good job I get there so early, and I had time to compose myself. Before I bumped into my beautiful Dave and Fred from Pedal Ready, who introduced me to another attractive guy ;)..Richard. Hey it was really cool because all the Mums and Dads will have been gossiping.


I'm looking forward to Cycle For Health tomorrow.

:( I just want to cry, I have just taken on too much this week, thing is though it's all things that I really want to do. I can't wait till Cycle for Health on Thursday. Because once I'm there, with my packed lunch, I can forget solicitors, brain interviews, children (eek sorry!) lunch do's and boozy singles nights.

Massive problems with the bank, but not really. But it reminded me that I am in fact brain damaged!!! I love being busy but I have folk who I think a lot of and they are getting neglected. I can vaguely cope, but when my tumble dryer breaks down, like NOW!! My life goes to pieces, I sound self pitying now, sorry.

A couple of sheds on my road have been burgled this week, thank goodness we lock all our bikes together.

Back from my solicitors, just done kids tea and taken my boy to Beavers...........peace, I feel like I should be smoking a cigar, whilst sipping my wine.

I do feel a bit crap for neglecting Gretel (but myself really) I just ain't had time.

What a fantastic day :) I'm really happy and relieved, because for 2 years, I've been involved in a research project called, BIRRP. Brain Injury Rehabilitation Research Partnership. And today, I actually interviewed a fellow survivor of brain injury, with the most senior member of the neurological team, and together we were a fantastic success, (but I wouldn't like to be the one to transcribe!), because the other survivor opened up to me so much, we chatted like old mates. She was great. Coincidently, she had sustained her brain injury, when she was knocked off her bicycle. Well that was a bit of a neon light for me, to hand out my contact card :)

I came back, and spoke for a while with the lovely Steve Marsden (CTC) who I've missed. And we've arranged to go to Derby to look at a recumbent for me on the 19th of November.

I didn't have to go to school today, as my wee boy is having tea at a mates. And my lassy is 11 in a week and can walk home now. But I just wanted an excuse to ride Gretel, and it was great, I'm in a fab mood.

Had some messages from a forum that I've joined called Inclusive Cycling Forum....(CTC)

D* has her bikeability at school on Thursday, I might have gone up to help but, I'm doing Cycle for Health instead.

Having a brain that still believes it's 21 has it's 'downfalls' when it's controlling the body of a 43 year old. Or not controlling. as the case was last night.

I'd got big plans for tonight (made in haste last night :D)

No cycling, as I'd be over the limit!! (Even now!)

10:30 am, I'm sooo excited, I have just found on the internet..(this is bizarre, geeky and a tad worrying!!!) I have just found, and ordered my very own.........tricycle pendant!! It's so funny :D

14:30 Children know how to hurt :( My daughter didn't want to go to 'Easy Tigers' wi me today, because I couldn't chase after her, like Daddy did. I took my wee boy and a mate instead and they had great fun.

16:00 I was a wuss and cycled about 25 yards and back, just so I could say I'd been for a ride. But I don't feel safe to be honest. I can't wait till school starts, and Gretel becomes part of my routine again.

18:30 I'm having a bit of a party night in a bit. So must go and put some slap on my face :) xx

Wow!! This is a deep and heavy one, it's kinda snuck up on me, and wam bam stripped me to the bare bones. It's my son's 7th b'day today, and I must admit the past 3 years have been difficult, because I've always made a big point of searching out a male 'friend' for us all to spend the day with. This invariably has led to disappointment on my side.

This year was gonna be different, I haven't searched anyone out. I'd rather spend my day just thinking what would make my wee boy happy, not walking a tightrope, trying to appease a man's feelings. Whilst my son gets his 2nd lot of b'day pressies, with his Dad. I can be all self indulgent and get engrossed in my writing, not once have I been tempted to go all melancholic. Whatever it was that made me the strong person, I now am, I'm just glad it happened, because I like being me.

Ooooooooh how exciting, It's getting dark out :D, I best use my new bike lights, just to be on the safe side you must understand ;)

(I bottled it :( It just got too dark, I feel a rite wuss now. )

I'm trapped in 1988, at the age of 21, and I'm massively excited now, because six of us are going to a singles night. I'm such a hypocrite, after reading the first paragraph. I know this ain't got too much to do with cycling, but I just feel happy and in control, which I think does have a lot to do with cycling.

I do love folk :) .....sorry if I'm boring, but I don't think there's enough positivity in our lives, so I just try and make people feel happy.

Did you know?? (This is really tedious if you know me because I do say it a lot.) Research shows that if you talk to a positive person, it increases your mood by 9%, on the other hand if you speak with a negative person, it lowers your mood by 7%, I like folk to feel happy about talking to me so so I do try to be positive. I've just blown away my trade secret now!!!

This afternoon was spent catching up with paper work with Miriam who takes care of my health champions work and expenses, which in turn enables me to do Cycle For Health. Which I love doing.

Ooooh my contact cards came today, what am I like? It's not as egotistical as it sounds. I'm just being very practical, because my memory is crap, so it just makes my life easier. And in fact I cycled to the shops, I deliberately went when it was dark so I could use my new lights :)

Anyway, I was locking Gretel up, and this teenage manboy approached with two others, and held out his hand. A long conversation followed, and I am so chuffed that I had my contact cards. I hope he gets in touch, I think we might be able to help his Gran :)

Awwww had a long chat with Nigel who financially supports me being a 'health champion'. I wish I'd spoken to him sooner about my worries, because he was fantastic.

I'm missing Steve, and Dave for their positive talk.

My kids cycled 12 miles today, and they still ain't tired.

I've got my new lights, and a rather quaint white basket all fitted.

Yesterday, just went eeeeeeeammmmm!!!.............and I kind of missed it. What a waste ey? I just slept all day.

Today, I wasn't going to be like that, I was going to be a bit more pro active, because I like being pro active.

I had an appointment with Andy, my lovely physio. Who indeed has worked wonders on my 'achilles tendonitus' .Please contact me, on cardouglas10@hotmail.com, if you want his details. What a positive guy he is, I love spending time there even though it's a bit sore. 'No pain no gain' as the saying goes.

Went to the library for a bit of constitutional.

I did cycle to the physio and library, and coop. But it's just normal behaviour now. I do it without thinking. Once I've got over this chest thing, which I can still feel rutling, in the morning, I will move the goal posts and try and go further.

My big bruv is having my children to sleep o'er tonight, and taking them on a mammoth bike ride tomorrow. I was really proud, because they were excited about it, and surprisingly they are well equipped in cycling equipment and knowledge.

I'm also thinking.......about coming off my anti convulsants. I ain't had a fit for two and a half years. And well I feel good. I'll talk about it with my gp :)

I wish I'd planned s'thing for tonight :(

Had a nice lay in this morning, which didn't do my chest any good, I have to say. I cycled with my wee boy to the library for this week's DVDs for the kids, leaving my girl home alone. Which is a scarey thing for me to do, even though she is 11 in 2 weeks, and to be honest, she's got an old head on her shoulders, perhaps a little too old at times. She shocks even me sometimes.

But her extremely responsible nature comes from having a single mum who has a disability, and a younger bruv who's extremely popular.

It was fab at the library, because I bumped into another Mum, and began gathering support for what is the busiest time of year for me and the kids. Halloween, F* b'day, bonfire night, D* b'day culminating in a big party at the end where I'm picking the kids up from school in a fire engine. (Nowt like drawing attention, is there?)

Anyway this Mum raved about Gretel, saying how cool she looked. So I went to town, feeling all proud of myself. And bought Gretel, a new shopping basket, (box of wine size ;) ) a front and rear light and some of those wrap around lights :)

I'm happy. :)

Urrgh!!!!! I feel dreadful, I reckon I'm suffering from 'cabin fever'. I know I ain't got the full blown effects of a chest infection, because I am managing to lift my fingers to type. :) If my two mates hadn't have called this am, I might have had a very lonely day.

Awwww aren't folk really so nice, Julian Woodward a journalist from MAPA who's been asked to run a story on my inspirational cycling and how it helps folk has agreed to donate some money to my 'recumbent fund' in return for a photo donated by Pedal Ready. How devoted to enabling me to have control of my own mobility they must be. So thank you, it's exactly what I need. I just hope I'm not too dim to learn.

I missed not having the freedom, to go and see my mates at the school gates. I was just too poorly.

I've got to admit Cycle for Health today was a bit of an effort. But for personal reasons, I had to try. And I'm glad in a way I did, because I made at least one person really happy, just by noticing that she'd got her teeth fixed. She was really chuffed that someone had noticed, and that made the effort of going worthwhile.

I saw Simone who works for Pedal Ready, who I used to see on a regular basis at Endcliffe Park, and in fact, hovered in case I fell off the first time I went on Gretel, as Steve covered me at the other side.

I met Louise (also from Pedal Ready ), who was really positive and friendly, and very patient as I really wasn't up to much. But I'm glad I made the effort.

Awwww, there isn't any CFH next week, due to half term.

(I'm still walking round, like I've got one leg longer than the other!!!...or a big platform shoe on one foot). I must go to Decathalon, and buy some of those wrap around neony type lights. Hey, do you think I'll crouch in a lurid fashion and rub my thighs at them? I have heard they're very attractive?

Awww, I just had to add this bit, I was watching the Simpsons wi' my little boy. On seeing Marge Simpson get on her tandem, wi' her children I said: 'Is that how you think Mum is?' He said: 'No way!!! You are so happy and cool mum, and everyone knows it.' :)

5am Couldn't sleep, my chest is rustling. I have no auto immune system, so I'll need to phone the doctors and get some antibiotics, and try and nip it in the bud. Awwww I had such a funny day yesterday, as well.

1.30 Still waiting for any tabs to be delivered and I want to start them, so they start to kick in by tomorrow's Cycle For Health. Although my temperatures only reading at 37.5, which is fairly ok. I'm such a cool chick it's normally a steady 36.

I feel the opposite to how I felt yesterday, I've had no electricity. My friend bought me a flask round, unfortunately my pc, don't run on hot water..

And how come all these 'experts' say 'Ohh you don't wanna do that' I've just had a very opinionated welfare worker round who knew more about the legal system than solicitors who get paid £60 an hour!!

Aren't I horrid? I'll come back to this later, and hopefully I'll be a bit nicer.

I've got my tablets now, I was ne'r a believer in tablets of any kind and only take them if the effect of not taking medication is really harmful. Now you may think chest infection, bearable? But since I had my spleen removed, I just can't hack infections, I become so debilitated. And if my temperature gets high, then I have a 'seizure' which is potentially life threatening, but because I'm mindful, of this, it hasn't happened for two and a half years years. So I am happy now. And hey, I've just recalled, I bet this is why I've been panting like a fat lass!

I ain't been out on Gretel all day, I don't know if my legs are strong enough.

You see I still ramble even when I've nowt to talk about.

Looking forward to seeing folk at Cycle For Health, I've ordered my taxi.

I'm in such a good mood again. Strangely enough, it's because of my poorly foot, I'll explain, if I dare? The last thing I want is to hurt someone by saying this. But Andrew (physio) last night in order to take the stress from my heel, put in an air sole (I said air sole!!) Anyway I now feel like I've got one of those shoes on with the built up wedge!! (So it's taking a bit of getting used to.)

Tuesdays my Tesco bus day, it's so sad everyone, including myself, is so institutionalised, we sit in the same seats every week, know each other on first name basis. Today was 'class' - one old lady shouted, ''Ethal, how's your big pussy?" "Ooooh not so good, it's old age, she dribbles everywhere!!"

I can talk for England!!

I bumped into my school friend's Dad, who came to see me when I was in intensive care, and at my wedding. I've known the guy since I was 13 and I've bumped into him intermittently since my ex left.

I might bore everyone now, but I just think it's important to get the type of character I was, and have become again. Well, my friend was a similar personality, very sociable, extremely naughty, but never nasty. And her husband did the same as mine, he ran off with her best mate. (Leaving her with 3 children.)

Anyway getting back, this Dad was crying nearly, because he said I looked 10 years younger, and so confident. It gave him hope that things night improve for his daughter, so I left my moby number, I hope she calls.

I returned home on the Tesco bus, and as he pulled up, I struggled out of my seat carrying four bags and pulling a trolley. Anyway, I couldn't catch my trousers in time, and they fell down, exposing my ass, and knickers. I turned round and coolly said, hey it's because I've lost weight :)

I then had to dress my son up like the zombie of death, and take him to Beavers. I must get some lights, it was a bit scary. I witnessed an assault!!! (it's like Afghanistan) so I peddled as fast as I could round the corner, and called the police!

Thankfully someone's bringing my wee boy back, so I can take these wet clothes off, which I've had on since school!

I love mornings, it is good to be alive. I hate it when folk pity me, and soon put them right if I detect it. But that makes me sound tetchy about the disability issue, I assure you I am not at all. Folk who are reading this and know me, will categorically vouch that I am extremely laid back.

My calf, and achilles were hurting. So I booked an appointment for evening time.

I don't want to sound negative about the cycling, because it's opened so many doors for me. And it is easy to maintain doing it because I love the freedom it allows. But I am an insy bit worried about my 'chest' as well now :(

You know, I've mentioned before about 'Not panting much for a fat lass?' Well it is actually a big fib. The physical exertion of me getting my weight plus that of the trike to school does cause me to get a tad out of breath!!!! Anyway, I now feel like I've got water on my lungs, thing is I'm an insy bit concerned, because I can taste blood!! When I cough. I know it sounds scarey. But the feel good factor out ways any aches. Sorry to go on tonight, but this is in fact a story with a happy ending. At 4 we nipped for a healthy tea at the deli, because I knew I would be a while at the physio, and it is just across the road.

What a fantastic guy, my physio is, his name is Andrew Okwera (07901968549). As if he could get a quick medical history off me!!! (Poor guy) Anyway, his diagnosis was (hang on he wrote it down) 'Achilles Tendinopathy' .........the good news is, it's possibly not caused by cycling. It's more likely to be my new busier lifestyle!! He did some ultra sound treatment, a bit of bending and supplied an air heel. All at a discount price because we're friends now :) Ey, he's massively into mountain biking which is cool.

Oh, nearly forgot, I was just cycling to school, and this cyclist came up to me at the school gates. Shook my hand and said 'Hello, you must be Caroline? I'm Barry, from the 'Pedaller' magazine.' What a positive happy chappy.

At the school gates, a woman came up to me and said 'Hello Caroline' I work for the council, and I've just come out of a meeting with Nigel West, the area health champions co-ordinator, who in fact enables me to do Cycle for Health on a Thursday. Who's been singing your praises. It's like been a celebrity.

Hectic morning, getting bags packed for 'dads day, with a sleep over.' I'd booked a pc whizz to come and debug my kids computer.

I was so excited about the positive stuff that's been going on this week, it all went to my head, and I ordered my own contact cards, entitled '3 Wheels and Me'. Well I never remember the address of my blog, it's a brain damage thingy, I think. Anyway I paid homage to the CTC and Pedal Ready on the reverse side.

I made myself go out on Gretel, but hey, it's a pleasure really, because you can never be lonely if you have a 3 wheeler!

I'm just about to go in the bath, because the doctor with the nice bedside manner's paying me a visit ;) x

10.00 After a busy morning getting my two children off to school, the taxi picked me up to take me to the Head Injury Rehab Centre, where I have been involved in some research for two years, and how grateful I am sometimes that the folk there perhaps understand me a little more than most.

14.00 Set off to get my daughter, who'd got an appointment at the gp's, and the teacher and she forgot!!!! which meant I had to go up the school drive to get her. Fortunately, a new 'pusherupthehill' :) offered.

15.30 A mum was concerned that I wasn't there for my son, so he has had tea with a mate.

Hey, and do you know, I have this black pair of trousers that a couple of months ago I couldn't get on. And now? They fall down! (With a bit of help!!!) :D

What a fantastic day this was to be because I was going to be able to show off my cycling success. And what happens when different personalities work together with the one aim. And how that aim can change and unselfishly become all 'inclusive'

I arrived at Hillsborough to see about 20 bikes outside the lodge. Eeeek, I took a deep breath and entered the building. I was really chuffed when Steve introduced me to the group, it was great. Everyone wanted to speak, I should have been on the stage, I reckon, because I do seem to thrive on attention. Does it make me bad? Fortunately the three guys who got me into cycling have gorgeous kind personalities, ok and looks. And it doesn't matter now I've caught the bug, but I don't think I'd have been as successful had it have been three fat ugly women. Am I revealing too much, heck!! I can't help it, it's me.

I do hope I've been able to influence lots of 'Steves' from around the country. And maybe next time they see a mobility scooter, or a wheelchair, they will thing of the possibilities?

Please post comments, or email me, hey you could even stalk, I mean follow my blog?

If I met you today, then Hello, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.xxxxxxx

(Below: With the 'Steves')

9.00 Got 3 messages of support in the night and this morning from the CTC, about My Article, and about the blog! Plus, I had 150 visits to my blog in a day!!!....wow. I can't believe that folk are interested, in 'lil' old me.

But it's not about me, is it? In fact that was a bit conceited, my writing is about 'life' and 'folk', and cycling. And 'There's nowt so funny as folk' as the saying goes.

Cycled a bit of the way to school with my boy, because it was 'Bike It' day. And Howard the Bike Doctor from Pedal Ready was gonna be there. And if my boy arrived early, he'd get croissants, and breakfast at school. My daughter, on the other hand, hadn't been assertive, and had let someone else be bike monitor for the school. (They don't even ride their bike to school!!)

14.00. Set off, with a energetic thrust on my pedal. I think it's because I know I've done naff all today. And I needed to wake myself. But I had a right long chat wi' a mum, at the shops. And if I'm honest it was only so I could have a rest :) She said how she admired my effort, and how much stronger I looked. I can only put that down to growing confidence.

14.45 What a cheeky woman I am. I introduced myself to Howard 'the Bike Doctor' (I must say at this point, that just because he was a Dr, bedside manner, didn't come into it). Explained who I was, and Dave you're right, I am famous, he knew all about me!!!

I asked if he had time to look at Gretel, and her disc brake as she was on loan from the big CTC. And the poor guy, must have had at least 100 bikes to look at. And he explained it was his first time at doing the repairs at Totley. Anyway, he fixed Gretel in a jiffy, and she now glides as if on ice. (I'm full of it sometimes!!)

17.30 I set off to school (for parents evening,) with my kids for the 3rd time today. (Masochism?) - I must get some lights.

I've just forced the bike issue at school, because I usually wait at the bottom now, I wasn't sure if anyone knew of Gretel. I just wanted to name drop a bit :) So thank's for that everyone.

9.00 am Children off to school, with their 'blue' and 'red' things for the harvest festival. Why school has to make things difficult????? I mean I'm sure if I was hungry, I wouldn't care what colour, the food was wrapped in.

10.00 Tesco on the bus.

12.00 To my dear Mum's, I feel I've neglected her, because I was in London last Tuesday, and she really missed my visit. It was nice to see her face light up when I walked in.

14.45 Gretel is poorly again, well was. The disc brakes appear to be on on the rack. She's so difficult to ride, plus she squeaks constantly. I had wanted to cry. I alerted the school that I was stuck at home. I felt helpless, I had forgotten that feeling. In steps Richard my star cleaner :) ......It's fixed now, in time for me to take F* to Beavers later.

18.15 I love Gretel again, in other words I love my freedom. Hopefully I will be able to buy my own bike for Low Edges, you see there's no stopping me, once I find a mission!

9.00 am Really chuffed that I challenged some discrepancies in an article. And the author was a star, and took it on the chin.

11.00 am Heard I wasn't going to be able to take a low rider to do the Cycle For Health at Low Edges , despite everyone's efforts to enable me to continue. It just wasn't gonna happen.

15.00 Bad news at the school gates, too personal.

15.30 My cards got declined in the coop.

15.45 Awww bless my kids are soooo excited about this luxury hotel their dad is taking them to in New York for Christmas shopping. I had to be all enthused, as they showed me on the internet.

Thank goodness Gretel doesn't cost anything to run. :(

My first really negative entry, sorry folks. But I am human.

I feel empowered today, so thank you for that. You know who you are.

I have missed my kids, but my leg feels as if it's benefited from not having to cycle, or go anywhere today. I've just had a long soak in a Radox bath, massaged my calf with oil. And it feels marvellous, I feel marvellous :)

I feel as if I've neglected my children today, by not giving them too much attention. But saying that I made myself go out on Gretel, to take DVDs and stuff back. On returning, I pulled up a settee and slept on it, stirring to feed and grunt at my two kids.

I've just hobbled to the kitchen, my calf doesn't feel good.

Had a fairly slow day. I mean although cycling's doing wonders for my soul, it feels like it's totally knackering my body in! I hobble round permenantly, and unfortunately my right leg, which is my 'good' unaffected (by brain damage) side, is the leg that does all the work when walking and cycling and therefore is the side that's strained permanently. And it ain't easy to give it a day's rest, because I have to cycle everywhere!

Cycled to school at three, and it was great. I bumped into Jeff and Amanda from Pedal Ready doing Bikeability with some school kids. It was lovely being recognized, but bugger, I'd forgotten my helmet. I've now taken it off my strategically placed peg in the kitchen and hung it on my handle bars.

A young doctor friend called round that evening, shall we say he has a nice bedside manner!! (I'm sooo rude sometimes ;) )

Awwww, I am happy. I mean I understand that folk are paid to be nice to me, but I do appreciate that the folk I have come into contact with do sooooo much more than money could ever pay for. I'm going all dewy eyed now.


Apparently a guy from the CTC wants to see me, it's got something to do with a letter I wrote a couple of months ago and I got rebuffed (is that a word?) But how can I bear a grudge, when they pay the man who has saved my life!! (Anyway I think the CTC may read this now :)

Got to Hillsborough about 10.15am, and it was very crowded in the lodge, but mostly with staff. It was a swarm of green plastic vests. I spotted Miriam, the usual Pedal Ready staff, and lovely Fred. Then I saw Steve with a couple of folk who'd come to see what happens. Oooooh my head was all of a spin, I was spoilt for choice, all these folk I could talk too. Then Nigel walked in, he wouldn't have a go though :( But Miriam said she was honestly contemplating riding a bike to work, and would see how she got on. Awww, Dave from Pedal Ready would have made it complete though.

I felt like Miriam and Nigel didn't really experience me being a champion, but Steve pointed out that Miriam was only considering biking it to work because of today. And there was A* who'd left details with Miriam about also becoming a health champion.

I'm becoming such an anorak it's scary!! And I had an interesting chat at the end with a guy who's really interested in working with dysfunctional teenagers, and getting them more into bikes. Now I know I don't seem a likely person to assist with this, but I have a couple of ideas, and I did used to work for the youth service. And hey, my brains only 21!!!!!!

Awwww but the end came all too soon. I really enjoyed cycling today.

My heads spinning a little bit today because I'm just impatient, and I want a new bike. I am eternally grateful to my Mum and Dad, because I know they made big sacrifices for me. But I have always had second hand bikes, which were good enough, and because of them I learnt to ride at an early age. And I'm not like a lot of my friends who are in their forties and never learnt to ride a bicycle.

Steve says he will take me to West Country Recumbents, which is actually in Derby, to find my dream bike.

I cycled to school today, at 3, and my ex' girlfriend passed me as Gretel was making horrendous noises, I think her chain must have shifted. Thankfully my friend had gone when I fell 'tits up' - remind me to never try and get off backwards on a downhill slope.

OOooooh nearly forgot, how could I? Mmmm I had 4 strapping young men come into my fruitful garden, and snip my bush this morning. ;)

I woke up this morning, at 2am, feeling so giddy and excited. This was how I remembered feeling on Xmas Eve, aged 10!!! But it was the day when Steve Marsden (CTC), along with Emma and Chris (from disability linked social services departments), were taking me to London to check out recumbent bikes.

My journey began at 9am, and it was pouring it down. The windscreen constantly steamed up, making it impossible to see too well, poor Steve :( It took about 3hrs to get to London, and 2hrs to get through, well done to the backseat drivers :)

If I'm honest, I was a little disappointed in the guys that were running the shop, I have been so used to meeting really positive folk in the cycling world - with their shelters full of bikes and spares, having a fag and a cuppa tea, they reminded me of Steptoe and Son!!!!!

I zoomed off on the first one I tried which, unfortunately, was a little tricky to get in and out of. I can see me going 'tits up'!! And there was no real uphill gradient for me to try. But what there was, I managed fine. It didn't fold either.

The second one I tried, which was much sexier, I thought, did fold to go in the boot of a car. But it was very heavy to lift and ride. But it had room for shopping etc.

I want to bring one home to actually try, on the school runs. I can't believe I said that because 5 months ago, I wouldn't have dared! Thank you again Steve, I love you :D xxxxxx

Wow, what a difference a day makes!! I was feeling quite negative yesterday, my legs ached and I thought is it worth it? And I thought today, after a few positive comments: Yes it is!! Because it's not so much the effect my cycling has on me, it's how many folk it has a positive effect on.

Today, I went to a meeting first thing at HIRC, and I put on a very good example of the correct way to interview a fellow survivor of brain injury. So I felt good. I rushed back in the taxi, and as per usual the taxi driver was a little over friendly. But I know they must do it with 20 women a day, and if one says yeah they've scored!

Steve (CTC) phoned about tomorrow when he's taking me and some other folk to London Recumbents. I'm unbearably excited, how does the poor guy put up with me. Nigel (Health Champions), poor guy, is only just beginning to get a glimpse of my enthusiasm. Help, I'm wearing myself out with giddyness.

I don't wheeze, I pant....well just take lots of breaths, I don't actually stick my tongue out. It doesn't sound very attractive does it

Anyway today on the way to school, I passed this little old dear who spurs me on everyday. She got all maudlin, as she remembered her cycling days. I'd love to let her have a go on Gretel but wouldn't dream of it, in case she fell and broke a fragile bone. And she confessed to being 91!!!!

School was full of the usual mums. You know my children, they just come and tell me which way they're going home, and zooooooom they're gone.

My kids need so much stuff for tomorrow, it's mad. D* doing a show in front of the class, which she told me about 30 mins ago. And F* has got Beavers, bless.

I do love my life:)

Hey I woke up this morning, and remembered that last night was ...:D (I can't believe I'm saying this..... ) - but it was a 'singles' night that usually I would die for. But I've become such a cycling anorak I would rather share intimate moments drooling over recumbent cycles than single men.

Which reminds me ....last night, Steve Marsden (CTC), sent me a message saying the local CTC were sending me a 'Pedaller', and I actually wondered if they were giving me a bike!! (or a gorgeous man was gonna arrive on my doorstep.) Neither, it's a magazine, full of glossy pictures for me to get excited over ;)

My leg felt a little better, so I nipped out to the shops and the library. I walked into the library and my friend said 'flippen eck, you look like a tomato' and aren't you sweating. Rather apt. Thank you for that observation.

I must have over done the uphills yesterday, because my calf is agony. So I have given myself the day off today, but it's just typical: school phoned asking me to go and fetch my boy because his sister had gone without him. And I couldn't bear the thought of hurrying up to school, so I said I'd take responsibility for him making his own way home. (Well, he is nearly 7, and he goes on his own sometimes.) But those feelings of being incapacitated, and totally helpless. For a fleeting moment, I wished I'd still got my mobility scooter.

Met my new welfare worker today, and gotta say, he was fantastic! Such a positive person, who did 'Wheels For All' in June, with Nick. So it's nice to have someone who recognises what I'm blithering on about!

I'm doing a list of all the things that my new bike must be able to do, because I know I'll be excited and may forget.

Oh and I learnt yesterday, that the next Cycle For Health course will be held at Greenhill Park, which isn't too far. So I may be able to cycle, but the hill is about 1:5. So maybe not.

Falling off my tricycle earlier this week so reminded me of a time I fell off my mobility scooter.

A driver on seeing me screeched to a halt!! 'Don't worry love!!' he yelled, and proceeded to pick me up (not an easy task), all the time I was saying 'I can do it.'

Anyway, he put his arms round my breasts! and leaned me back on his big belly, and kinda walked my legs over to the scooter (a bit like when a child stands on a grown up's feet). I ended up pretending I really couldn't walk, and did truly need his assistance, as opposed to seeing him mortally embarrassed at the truth. At least I was able to be honest on Tuesday when I fell off the tricycle.


Today has been brilliant again, I do enjoy Cycle For Health, for totally selfish reasons as well. But if it encourages others, that's a double bonus!!

The lovely Fred was there, being as positive as ever, and I know Dave took some horrible photos of me today struggling up the hill. I know he will put them on here.

Do you know, I'm scared in case I miss someone, and I offend them :) But Amanda and I did have a right laugh about the mobility scooter incident when I told her today!!

I learnt that I am now able to meet J*, to assist her and another trainer on the disability bikes. I work well with J*, so I'm glad to feel useful.

:( I was hoping to buy my bike on Tuesday, when I go to London Recumbents, but my ex says I've got to wait. I hope they can deliver it soon.

Went to visit my Mum at Ecclesall, it would be great if I could cycle, but I think even if I had a power assisted one it might take me too long. And besides it's nice catching up with my mate.

I cycled to school, can I add 'doesn't wheeze much for a fat lass'?

Got back, I needed to speak with Steve really regarding the bike that my solicitor is going for in the divorce court on Wednesday. Spoke with Dave instead and Nigel, and Fred. So I'm happy, I feel like a useful person. Which is exact opposite to my personal life.

I am on a bit of a roller coaster, which hopefully will culminate with my final divorce hearing. It's only taken 3 years. And I know I've been unbearable with my insecurities, but hopefully normality will resume as of Thursday. I just hope I can concentrate on Tuesday/Wednesday, when I will be learning how to use the disability bikes. It's nice, because the CTC are covering the cost of my instruction. And Nigel (Health Champion person) is paying for transport there and back.

My wee boy woke me at 3, then at 7. Wanting to know if it was time for BMX day yet? He was unbearable, but I was very proud that he was so into something so healthy. And I suppose I was pleased that I was encouraging it.

My daughter spent all morning, in the shower and applying her 'slap'. She was only interested in the boys who may be at the BMX day. (Her mother's own daughter, as the saying goes :) )

I was delighted to see A* today, it was great. I don't know if I had any influence on her decision to go, but she did really enjoy herself. And hey, I do come in useful sometimes (as the bag minder!) A* did really well, in the older persons group. My boy, on the other hand, was not a 'happy bunny' - he got given a smaller bike, with flowers on!! Anyway I reckon, if I can communicate with A* about the next one, she will definitely go.

------

Oooooh I've just had a strange man phone, (tipped off by the lovely Fred). He wants to come and snip my bush;) - That is, take my otherwise wasted eating apples, and give em to the needy.

I had to take Gretel for a wee spin.

Do I sound like Julie Andrews?

Do you know what? (And I'm quite ashamed.) I ain't been on Gretel today!!!!

I did my bit for Health Champions though, I found out about BMX day, phoned A* from Cycle for Health, and she's gonna see me at Meersbrook Park tomorrow, when I take my wee boy for some BMX riding.

I think I need a cold shower to bring me back to the real world, I can only liken this feeling to falling in love, when I may experience butterflies in my tummy. And such excitement! But this isn't about a man!! It's about 3 wheels and making other people happy just by exercising and smiling occasionally! (Ok, I do a bit more.)

Before I forget I must say a big thank you to A*, one of my Cycle for Health partners, who taught me very effectively to get up the hills in the park today. (Sorry Steve, I know the hills aren't big, I was just feeling particularly feeble that day).

This woman came up to me at the end of Cycle For Health and hugged me today for being inspirational. It was totally out of the blue. But she said I had been one of the reasons she had continued, and she was really pleased she had :) - because she could now ride a bike independently.

Earlier on today, my lovely Fred had been on a dual pedalled recumbent bike with J* who had difficulty seeing. Because I am doing my Disability Cycling course on Tues/Weds of next week, I was eager to have a go on the bike with J*.

I asked her if she'd mind showing me, and in fact be my left leg, and I'd be her eyes. Fortunately she said yes, and a match was made in heaven. It was great.

Amanda from Pedal Ready and I went for a ride round the whole park after lunch, which I really enjoyed because I nearly managed it all. I'm confident by the end of the course it will be no problem.

I got home, and Nigel (HC), Steve (CTC), and Dave (PR) had left glowing messages of support, which I loved.

Ohhh I nearly forgot, my children and I have just waved goodbye to my electric scooter, which I couldn't have managed the last 3 years without. But when people see me on it? Well it's hardly a very attractive feature, and really doesn't match the person I believe I am.

I see myself as independent now, not dependant on a scooter or anyone to drive me.

I cycled to the bus stop this morning, and do you know? I now do it without thinking. And I feel like I've achieved something when I get to the bus stop. (Don't laugh, I know it ain't far.)

My mate's coming from Leeds tomorrow evening, I suggested we meet at the 'Deli Junction' or the Mohul, and we will cycle. (This is ace, what freedom!!!)

Hey, I've got Cycle For Health tomorrow, I did enjoy it last week. (I'm wondering if Fred went home with my silk scarf, it did suit him!) It gives me such a buzzz being appreciated, for just being me :)

I think it's a healthy snooze? - But when I've cycled, I come home and sleep for 30 mins. Is it normal? Or am I a lazy git? I did go to town this morning, and get my moby fixed, so I can take photos at last.

I'm happy!

I'm gushing with love for my fellow man again. I've been in a super mood, I think because it's been so sunny and I started the day with a short ride, just for the sake of it really.

I spoke to Steve from the CTC, who is the hero in all this really. He has plans for me to speak at a conference, which is so exciting. And he's so right, disability cycling has given me an interest, and it really suits my personality, because it has so many different possibilities, and I can see ways it would help folk who may have certain things in common with myself. (Not just the disability thing, but being a single mum who doesn't drive, gaining weight, but not really having the opportunity to do anything about it. Because naturally children come first.)

Anyway I'm glowing now.

At the school gates were the usual mums. I handed the mum who'd helped me a bottle of wine for fixing my bike yesterday. And she gave me her moby number and said I could call her if ever I had a problem :) Bless, how nice.

I rang and made arrangements for the Mobility folk to collect my electric scooter on Thursday and when I told my friends, they were tearful, (silly things) and they said pretty much the same as Steve had been saying: how I was busy now doing CFH and being a champion.

These were the mums that saw me reach rock bottom, when I'd see my husband collect someone else's children at the school gates. It was a sad time, and I think unfortunately I may have met Nigel when I was part of PFI (partners for inclusion). Oh well, he may have seen the change in me then.

I'm very happy because Nigel has given the go ahead for me to pay my 'PA' to take me to be a health champ at CFH on Thursday at hilly Hillsborough. I know I will see lovely Fred there.

("Who looks nothing like Robert Patterson!!! cos' Rob Patterson is the most god like creature on this planet!!!!!!" - that was my daughter, soz!!)

People are just sooo nice, it's incredible the effort some folk will go to to help others. Or is it just me? I don't think they do it out of pity or owt, I hope not anyway. My friend was round offering support over techy things, folk know me tooo well!! Anyway, he's a nurse as well, so I needed him to check out my.......hand;)

I rushed to the coop, and 'Gretel' was poorly, I could tell she was difficult to ride. But I needed to go to see my friend and give her some flowers. As I pushed Gretel near the school, another mum said: 'What's up, let me have a look for you.'

Anyway the chain had come off, so she turned her upside down and fixed it in a jiffy. It was ace, I could have kissed her, and probably did.


I've been asked to write an article on my journey of cycling. Nice :)

Urrrgh!! I'm just back from such a harrowing ordeal. Firstly I cycled to the bus stop, nearly having three accidents on the way, as the bus stop is only about 500 yards. That's pretty good or bad going!! I clearly wasn't myself, and headed off to Decathlon. I was so sweaty (for a fat lass) at the check out the assistant asked me if I was ok? and did I need a chair!! I looked at my 'weeping' cut and thought eeeeek!!

From there I headed off to Boots in the hope of finding some antibiotics, as I haven't a spleen, and things can turn nasty very quickly. I was directed to an out of hours place, which required a taxi. It was the start of the Muslim festival, and so there wasn't a taxi in sight.

To cut a long story short, I had 5 butterfly stitches, and was written up for some antibiotics, which I had to call and collect, before I was dropped off at Gretal. Why do I make things hard for myself?

Oh well I can feel the blood pumping round my body now:) (Even though some of it might be bad!!)

Yesterday just passed me by in a drunken haze. I've gotta say I was disappointed that no one said the words. 'Wow, you don't look 43!!' But I am happy to say a few people said 'I didn't ever act my age.' Which again is a brain thingy, because it was 1988 when I had my RTA, and severe brain damage. My brain still thinks it's 21, and I still like The Smiths, and The Clash.

A really nice day yesterday began with my children waking me, more excited about my birthday than me. I cycled to the shops later, because I had to give myself a bit of exercise, as I knew the day would be spent consuming lots of calories. My mates called at 4.00pm with champagne, and then another friend called and that was the start of the downhill slippery slope :) Clive then called (an ex fb), who is absolutelly gorgeous, and such a gent, he stayed till 1am.

I've said before how many things effect my ability to cycle- Well today I'm happy because I've had a wee laugh and a joke at my friend because he lay in bed this morning watching 'Hollyoaks' (Perv I called him!!). I'm just going into town, to spend fifty pounds worth of vouchers, at Decathlon.